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Help me! To confusing! I'm 7 weeks and unsure on the father!?

(43 Posts)
SoConfused123 Sun 27-Nov-16 23:41:36

Hello. Please don't judge me. I had an early scan in my pregnancy and the doctor told me I was 7 weeks pregnant. I was going to terminate but changed my mind this is how I ended up having a scan.

I thought I new who the father was as I have been sleeping with the same person for 2 years trying for a baby. However we broke up in September. I had a silly one night stand with someone on 16th September he said he didn't cum. It didn't last long either!

However after this I blanked it out! I got back with my partner and had sex with him around 29th September (roughly, not exact) but we continued to have regular sex. And I haven't been with anyone since.

So when I found out I was 7 weeks from the ultrasound. I was happy as I worked out that would of been beginning of October. I had my ultrasound on 22/11/16.

I told my partner he is over the moon. But this morning out of no where that one night stand popped into my head Iv tried calculating everything now I'm panicking. And don't no what to do. As I'm reading it can be 2 weeks different. I need to know ASAP and don't have a midwife appointment for another few weeks!

Is it the one night stand from 16th September. Or my partner who I slept with before the 16th and continually from end of September??

Please help and please be honest I'm so scared. confused

SoConfused123 Sun 27-Nov-16 23:44:00

I also had a mini period around end of September just before I slept with my partner again. Was a short period though.

Maverickismywingman Sun 27-Nov-16 23:48:22

The 16th of sept would make the growth scan more like 10 weeks.

The likely hood is, it's your regular partner. But TBH the only way to know for sure is paternity test when the baby is born.

JoMalones Sun 27-Nov-16 23:48:39

If you are 7 weeks this week, it means you conceived approx 5 weeks ago so it could on,y be someone you slept with in October

Finola1step Mon 28-Nov-16 00:02:28

Usually, these threads all go the same way in that you can't be 100% sure without a DNA test. I'm usually one of the posters advising not to listen to strangers on the Internet and prepare for testing. But in your situation, I think you can relax.

7 weeks from the 22nd of Nov would take you back to 4th Oct. But when you are told that you are 7 weeks pregnant, you take off 2 weeks because dating scans refer to a start point of your last period, not when you conceived.

So add 2 weeks on to the 4th and you probably conceived around the 18th of October, give or take a couple of days either side. Maybe the weekend of the 15/16th October was a busy weekend?

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Relax a bit and enjoy it. I'm no expert, but I don't think you have to worry.

SoConfused123 Mon 28-Nov-16 00:32:17

Thankyou all for your help. I am going to do a DNA test a private one. I have also looked at private DNA tests before birth but by the sounds of it I'm panicking over nothing. And it is 2 weeks apart from the 2 guys. So I no it's not just a few days which would be difficult! But I am still going to do a DNA test just to put my mind at rest.

Thankyou for your comments. It's much appreciated. I might get some sleep now!

Nikki2ol6 Mon 28-Nov-16 07:37:31

You would have got pregnant around 18th October. So it's your partners baby as spent can only live upto 3 -4 days.

OohNoDooEy Mon 28-Nov-16 11:40:57

If you were 7 weeks pregnant on 22nd November then the egg was fertilised on 25th October. You could have had sex 7 days either side of that as it lives for that long. So you didn't conceive on the ONS.

SoConfused123 Mon 28-Nov-16 11:43:42

What does this mean? ONS.

Thank you for all your replies it's very comforting and reassuring.

OohNoDooEy Mon 28-Nov-16 11:47:28

one night stand

Becciilouisex3 Mon 28-Nov-16 12:12:04

Reading your information, you conceived around 18th October as previous posters have said. If you slept with the other guy in the middle of September, there's no way it is his.

Also, when people say the dates can be 2 weeks either side, they're usually referring to a) the estimated due date given to them by he midwife going from the first day of their last period or b) the date that they believed they conceived due to ovulation and when they did the deed etc.

Scans are when you get your more accurate (although still estimated) due date as they look at the development, growth and size of the baby, heartbeat etc. Generally, the scans aren't too far out, more likely days than weeks if at all. Of course I'm sure there are some people who found them to be out by more than that because they're not 100% foolproof but generally they're pretty accurate.

Also, if the other guy genuinely didn't ejaculate, it's not his baby. They used to say precum carried a risk of pregnancy however, more recent studies have shown that there is barely any sperm in precum and any that is present is dead. The only way live sperm could be present in precum is if he ejaculated up to 24 hours before and there was some left in the urethra. Science generally tells people now that they will not fall pregnant through precum at all.

Good luck smileflowers

SoConfused123 Tue 29-Nov-16 07:47:22

Thankyou for all your comments and help. I feel much better now. And much more reassured. I'll still do a DNA test just to be sure. But by the sounds of it. I defiantly conceived in October so it's looking very good. smile

GreenGoblin0 Tue 29-Nov-16 17:07:13

have you told the father you'll need a dna test?

SoConfused123 Tue 29-Nov-16 17:37:22

His family wants one anyway. So won't look suspicious on my part. Just hope and pray it comes back as his. And his family are paying for it. But if it comes back not his I got to pay for half of it. But I'm just keeping my fingers crossed otherwise I'll loose everything. And break his heart. But by sounds of it it's got to be his as these answers say must of been conceived in October. Only ever slept with someone else 16th September just the once.

Frazzled2207 Tue 29-Nov-16 17:43:28

You can't have conceived in september, and early scans are very accurate so I think you're in the clear

Whatsername17 Tue 29-Nov-16 17:47:17

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you both? If you have been eying for two years and he is happy you are pregnant, why is his family insisting on a dna test? It's nothing to do with them.

SoConfused123 Tue 29-Nov-16 19:59:27

A few years ago way before me his girlfriend had a baby said it was his he bought the child up for a whole year went to all the scans all the family paid and shared this child's life. After a year in an argument he caught her cheating and she said she had been for a while and the baby wasn't his. So they did a DNA test to find out he had bought her up for a year and she wasn't his. The mother and baby moved away after that. And so they don't want to go through that again. I'm 25 and he's 32. But because we broke up for about a month. They have doubts. He trusts me and believes me. But his family don't want him or themselves to be hurt again. Even though I'm completely different to her. And they wasn't in a relationship until she got pregnant! But if it's what they want. Then I'm happy to do it.

thiswashelpful Tue 29-Nov-16 21:12:21

SoConfused123, based on the dates I'd think it VERY likely your partners. But you are right to do the DNA test.

Does your partner know that you slept with someone else in that time?

SoConfused123 Tue 29-Nov-16 21:48:02

No. I completely blanked it out and it popped into my head the other day. I don't even have contact with the other person and it was a one off. Don't even really know each other. My partner never even met him before he lives so far away. It was a one night stand when I went away to get over my partner as we had broke up. Not realising we would get back together. I'm so frightened.

CatchingBabies Tue 29-Nov-16 21:57:31

Whilst I agree the baby is most likely the partners advising women that she can't have conceived in September is really dangerous advice.

Dating scans are done around 12 weeks for a reason, that's when they are most accurate. Earlier then this or later whilst pretty accurate is not an exact science it's an estimation hence estimated due date.

The only way to know for sure is a DNA test, please don't just assume it must be your partners and ignore the need for the DNA test as if your wrong the potential affect on the child is enormous and can be devastating. Good luck x

FoggyMorn Tue 29-Nov-16 22:08:17

Re dating scans, they become less accurate after 12 weeks because there's variation in how quickly the foetus will grow and the further along the pregnancy the bigger the variation could be. At around 7 or 8 weeks (like the op), the dating of the pregnancy should be be very accurate.

There are a lot of reasons why "dating" scans are done at around 12 weeks that are nothing to do with wether it's the best time to date the pregnancy.

SoConfused123 Tue 29-Nov-16 22:18:41

I'm doing a before birth DNA test. Just incase as if he isn't the father wouldn't be fair on him seeing scans etc. So we're doing a private pre natal DNA test. Which is done through blood tests. Which is so confusing and so expensive. I'm hoping and praying it's his.

ConvincingLiar Wed 30-Nov-16 07:32:00

Good luck op. Glad you're going for reliable DNA testing. You need to make it clear that your partner's family need to butt out after this.

GreenGoblin0 Wed 30-Nov-16 08:20:17

OP do you realise how invasive the test is if done before baby is born? and not to mention that it carries a small risk of miscarriage?

SoConfused123 Wed 30-Nov-16 08:35:55

We are doing a non invasive test which will be done through my blood it's so complicating. They do it at 1500 labs in the UK. And costs £400. Can be done from 7 weeks. But I don't get how it'll work. It's being tested to my partner. So there will be 0 risk to the baby or the pregnancy. Because I refused at first but when they showed me and I read into it. I agreed.

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