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Help - daft but real question from a man...

(37 Posts)
user1480030038 Thu 24-Nov-16 23:40:14

I need some advice please.

I am extremely worried that I may be a Dad and that the Mum has not told me the truth.

The issue is, I did not actually have sex with her, we just dry humped with underwear on. She found out that she was pregnant after about five months, I have asked her on three occasions ans she swears blind that the child is not mine.

I know she was sexually active with someone around 4 weeks before the conception date, which by the way, is within 48 hours of the reverse calculator I have used. I just don't know if she had sex with someone around this date that I am not aware of.

The child is now 2 and I have not seen the Mum in 18 months although the worry is destroying me...

I have spoken to my a couple of close pals about this up here in Aberdeen, they tell me I am being stupid and to move on.

I know we only dry humped, I did not put my hand anywhere near her genitals although she did touch me, I really need so me peace of mind and other than a DNA test, I don't know how to move on.

I am sorry for how stupid this sounds but if anyone can offer any advice, I would be very grateful.


A wee worried man...

kilmuir Thu 24-Nov-16 23:47:21

It's not yours

coolaschmoola Thu 24-Nov-16 23:48:13

No matter how super your swimmers are there is no way they could have made it through up to four layers of clothing, found the point of entry AND made the big swim. Nope, not possible.

In the words of every dodgy tv show host ever: "You are NOT the father."

user1480030038 Thu 24-Nov-16 23:53:22

Just to add in, it was only boxers and nickers that were being worn. (I was the boxers I add...)

kilmuir Thu 24-Nov-16 23:54:56

Ask Father Christmas for a book on making babies

user1480030038 Thu 24-Nov-16 23:57:20

Well that was helpful...

WindInThePussyWillows Thu 24-Nov-16 23:59:50


PenguinsandPebbles Fri 25-Nov-16 00:00:01

Did you even orgasam?

user1480030038 Fri 25-Nov-16 00:03:36

Nope, there was no ejaculation, I am worried about pre-ejaculate through the underwear you see. I know it sounds daft...

PenguinsandPebbles Fri 25-Nov-16 00:15:58

In the nicest possible way you are being utterly ridiculous

You cannot possibly be the father.

Move on

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 25-Nov-16 00:16:50

<suspends disbelief>
Pre cum can in theory result in conception. It isn't common but it happens. Through two sets of underwear? Very unlikely.
Sperm is potentially capable of conception for days (not weeks) after sex.
How many weeks after your dry hump was the child born? Weeks, not months. Were you the only sexual activity in Weeks?

user1480030038 Fri 25-Nov-16 00:20:14

38 weeks from dry hump. I am unsure if she had other activity around the time, that is what worries me...

user1480030038 Fri 25-Nov-16 00:20:41

Thank you for your reassurance smile

PenguinsandPebbles Fri 25-Nov-16 00:24:25

It's not actually pre-cum that results in pregnancy, that's actually just a fluid that enables sperm to travel, it doesn't contain sperm.

However if there are sperm already there, then they can be present in pre-cum and so yes you can become or get someone pregnant. Sperm lives for up to five days

Dry humping, really doesn't result in pregnancy neither does sitting on a toilet seat

Your Ex, is telling you are not the father because she is well aware that she was having unprotected sex with someone else

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 25-Nov-16 00:25:25

The timing would be great if you were unclothed and going for it. But a normal pregnancy could be 35 weeks to 40 from conception. I would place a bet on you not being the father.

user1480030038 Fri 25-Nov-16 00:29:55

Thanks for your reply. She was not an ex, just a friend who shared the odd moment with, but never sex

PenguinsandPebbles Fri 25-Nov-16 00:31:28

The lesson from all of this is always wear a condom.

Even when your fooling around, to prevent pregnancy but also STD's, which can be transmitted even via oral sex.

Educate yourself OP, you owe it to yourself and any future partners you settle down with.

kilmuir Fri 25-Nov-16 00:35:30

A book on making babies would be useful. You might learn something for future encounters

haveacupoftea Fri 25-Nov-16 00:40:16

You didn't have sex
You didn't ejaculate
Someone else did ejaculate in her 9 months before the baby was born
She has told you it isn't hers

I think can go forth with a clear conscience. And btw how rude of you to presume she is lying to you.

user1480030038 Fri 25-Nov-16 00:43:45

Thanks for your reply. Not so much being rude, just not getting my head around a few wider things that;s all. Sadly, people do lie these days...

PenguinsandPebbles Fri 25-Nov-16 00:57:55

They do lie

But it was 2 years ago, and you never even had sex with this person

Move on

Trifleorbust Fri 25-Nov-16 06:25:32

Not your baby by any reasonable logic!

ConvincingLiar Fri 25-Nov-16 06:39:40

It's not your baby. Stop worrying.

Sixisthemagicnumber Fri 25-Nov-16 06:43:33

Surely the OP is not for real. Unless he is 13 years old and hasn't fully understood how babies are made.
Ffs, she ain't lying. The baby belongs to the guy she had sex with and that wasn't you.

PenguinsandPebbles Fri 25-Nov-16 09:58:05

I kind of hope it's not real, I'd like to think the standard of sex education is higher than this in the U.K, but I've seen more unbelievable things on Jermemy Kyle.

But I suspect it is and that this was a very young person, hopefully of the basis of this they will actually understand the practicalites and consequences of sex moving forward

But who knowa

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