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Relationship during pregnancy

(3 Posts)
user1479415795 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:44:00

I feel a bit weird posting this but I can't talk to my friends or family about my partner for fear that they will start to dislike him - at what should be a very happy time for us.
I have been with my partner for two years and we consciously fell pregnant and I am now nearly seven weeks. We were both very excited but I'm really worried now.
For the last week I have had severe pains in my stomach and back - so much so that I ended up in A&E on Friday morning in agony. I had blood tests and urine tests and the docs aren't sure what's wrong. I have an ultrasound booked tomorrow. I am in a lot of pain and I'm very worried.
I thought my partner would be there for me (he's 15 years older than me with a 4 year old and is an amazing dad) but he's just left me on my own. I've been in bed most of the weekend and yesterday when he got back from a morning out the first thing he said to me was to have a go at me for not hanging his clean shirts up. He hasn't really asked how I am feeling, did earlier but walked off before I answered. Today I asked him to help me lift something and his reply was why can't I do it, I've been lying on my arse for 24hrs doing nothing. I feel so hurt and lonely by his attitude. To make matters worse I moved 200 miles away from my friends and family to be with him and have no one to talk to where I live. I just feel so lost. He definitely wants to baby - but not I feel maybe he just wants a baby and not me?! I don't know what to do. I just to go to my scan alone tomorrow and then go and see my family. I know they would be so angry and upset if they knew what I was going through.

Cuppaqueen Mon 21-Nov-16 00:27:44

Hey user, sorry to hear how you're feeling and fingers crossed the scan shows all ok.

One thing I would ask you is, is your dp's behaviour totally out of character or does he normally expect you to be the one to provide his clean shirts/ do everything for him? What's he like when he's ill? Is he just one of those people who thinks when you feel unwell you should 'pull yourself together' and get on with it? All I'm saying is a lot depends on what he is normally like during your two years together. If this is totally unlike him, I'd confront him and tell him how ill you've really been and how he's made you feel - he may well apologise and explain. Everyone is occasionally an arse when under pressure. If it's part of a pattern of behaviour, I would take this as a warning sign. Still talk to him but maybe also to a good friend or one of your family - yes, you risk affecting their opinion but you also need support and maybe to look at the whole relationship not this one incident.

fuzzywuzzy Mon 21-Nov-16 07:33:19

OP so sorry you're going thro this.

Go for your scan and then go to your family so they can look after you. Then have a goodthink about whether you want to come back to this man.

He sounds really mean, I've been unwell for a while and DP has done all the runnnig around, you're allowed to lie around 'on your arse' if you're not well.

Take care of yourself and good luck at your scan.

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