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Need advice..Split with father of my baby!

(6 Posts)
MidnightBreeze1 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:17:38

Does he have a right to be at the scans? The birth and to know things about appointments? Or does he have to wait until my baby is born.
Need advice I don't know about all this!

MidnightBreeze1 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:21:52

Sorry! Forgot to say I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first baby.

ConvincingLiar Sun 20-Nov-16 19:26:21

No, no rights until baby is born. Even then it's not strictly defined. If he's not abusive, I'd say you should tell him when baby has arrived, provide a photo, then let him have short regular visits but with you being present.

MidnightBreeze1 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:31:04

He has been physically and mentally abusive in the relationship. I stayed because one being pregnant I didn't want to be alone and 2. For the baby but to be honest I was miserable so I ended things. He's now told me not to contact him again! Which I am mor than happy to oblige.
Do I have to legally tell him I've given birth or wait until he comes knocking as I want absolutely nothing to do with him at all, an absolute rubbish situation however, as always he was perfect until I fell pregnant.

Whatsername17 Sun 20-Nov-16 21:06:22

As the father of the baby he will have responsibilities for the child. Are you planning to request financial support from him? I know the standard answer on mumsnet is that any man who has unprotected sex is responsible financially for the baby which is absolutely correct. But, I am asking in terms of what you want becuase you have said you want nothing to do with him. It would be all too easy to say that he has told you not to contact him, you want nothing to do with him, therefore just stay away. However, it isnt as simple as that and the child you are carrying has to be put first. You need to put a plan in place in terms of access to the baby and financial support. You have every right to refuse to have him at the scans and birth. But, you must think about how you might proceed after the baby is born. If you can come to an agreement between the two of you it will make things easier in the long run. It is a horrible situation to be in and I wish you lots of luck.

MidnightBreeze1 Sun 20-Nov-16 21:24:31

Amicable agreement?? We split 2 days ago & he's already in bed with someone else.

He's blocked me on everything & I've blocked him. What he's done to me, I don't think it's fair or in my best interest nor the baby's to inform him when he arrives. He's spiteful & vindictive....he's already admitted in a previous argument that he'd turn our son against me.
I don't want my son to grow up confused & think behaviour like his is normal, I want him to be a happy baby, child and adult.
Yes, people can say why did you have a baby with him however he was amazing....I loved him....then he turned nasty within hours of me telling him I was pregnant (not about the pregnancy or baby but me)
Yes I'm heartbroken he's done this to me & our baby but I don't want him in my life, I don't want his money either, I have enough family members willing to support us financially, I don't need a measly £180.00 a month from him.
He's also told me to go and find another guy to raise our son because he's not interested.

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