Advanced search

Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Pregnant with number 3..... now I'm freaking out

(18 Posts)
SweetMummy911 Fri 18-Nov-16 08:22:42

DH and I have found out on Monday I'm pregant with number 3. We were over the moon - dh very supportive.

Now that reality has set it I'm freaking out.... I have the space but I'm worried about the impact on my 2 existing children, I'm worrying about financial implications and I'm worried about another babu taking a toll on our marriage
We get no help from family - just feeling awful... Feeling really down, scared and unable to be excited. Ive not told my mum yet and i know she'll be very judgmental and unhappy about this which is not easing my anxiety..... Please help

HughLauriesStubble Fri 18-Nov-16 08:29:31

It's completely normal. I found out when I was 7 weeks pregnant with Dc3, it was a huge surprise and I have to say evenue though we were happy, it was a good 2 months before the 'oh shit' feeling went away.

You will manage. You will find the space and money. You will cope. You just need a little time to adjust to the idea.

Congratulations grin

SweetMummy911 Fri 18-Nov-16 08:50:55

That's how I feel.... Oh shit!!

How were your other 2??

SeashellHoarder Fri 18-Nov-16 11:17:57

I'm pregnant with dc3 and I had the same feeling, not helped by dc1 getting very upset when we told her. "I don't want a baby, mummy!". She said that occasionally for the next 3 months.

DM said "you can't have any more!"

Now 35 weeks and both DC's are really looking forward to the new arrival.

Hopefully you'll get a better response than we did!

ecosln Fri 18-Nov-16 12:16:59

i am 10 weeks with number 3.
i only went to dr on monday as it took time to sink in, despite the daily vomiting!
when i found out at 5weeks i was shocked and not sure if i was happy - i was scared for many reasons.... Financial, my job, we have no family support near,.
My reaction shocked me as i am one of 3 and always said i would like 3 children... but then i think I meant in a "perfect world".... but its not perfect and finally I am starting to relax.

Not told family yet only 2 friends I was meeting for drinks. they were over the moon and so happy for me. They laughed that at 35 I was acting like a teenager saying "i dont know what to tell my parents"! I hope your mum will ultimately be like mine - who only worries about me and how i cope working full time with no support (apart from DH!)

Good luck... it does get better...

SweetMummy911 Fri 18-Nov-16 16:30:01

ecosln you've described how i feel down perfectly. I just can't being myself to tell friends and family for fear of judgment... Right now the last thing i need is my mum telling me how hard it's goinf to be.... I need support and hugs more than words 😥

thecatsarecrazy Sat 19-Nov-16 11:08:20

Its normal. I'm expecting number 3, was planned but I still panicked

Grace1980 Sat 19-Nov-16 21:41:00

I felt / feel exactly the same! I'm 22 weeks pregnant with number 3. I was so afraid of telling friends and family - not least because DH and I have had a tough time since having kids and i felt like people would judge me for putting myself / my marriage through this all over again. I took a long time to tell anyone - and some friends I've not seen recently still don't know. Actually...people were lovely. Very pleased for us and some confessed they would love a third too.

I also have no help from family. My mum isn't interested in helping out despite living half an hour away. I do panic at times and wonder how I will cope but I'm sure it will all be ok. As I've got bigger and felt kicks, I have begun to feel more excited and happy. We already know how incredible our first 2 kids are being third time mummies! We are adding another wonderful person to the family. That can only be a really great thing smile

Iwillorderthefood Sat 19-Nov-16 21:57:50

We had a surprise number 3. I was devastated, and would not talk about it for 12 weeks. I nearly did not go through with it. However, she is 2.5 now and an absolute joy. Both her sisters adore her, all the family dote on her. It's tough financially, and the sleepless nights have been terrible, and still are sometimes. We are getting through, and love her.

Iwillorderthefood Sat 19-Nov-16 21:58:39

Oh and DH travels every other week to the US, and we have no family help.

SweetMummy911 Thu 24-Nov-16 10:18:44

Hello all
I have written a therapeutic account of my experience over the past 10 days for whomever might be interested please feel free to have a read:

Baby Number 3- an honest account of the hardest yet easiest decision of my life

Happy to report I'm feeling a heck of a lot better and a cloud has been lifted flowers

pinkcandyflossy Thu 24-Nov-16 11:03:48

HI op I'm also pregnant with my third and had the same worries. I thought my mum would be very judgemental in a kind of "well don't think I'm helping with the childcare" kind of way and although she was a bit strange when I told her she came around within just a day and is very excited about it. My friend said to me when I was worrying about telling her - it's nothing to do with them what you do and how many children you have, it's only you and your dh and your other children who matter.

We also had a mother in law situation but she was at first shocked and then crying tears of joy.

And all my friends are super excited!

Just enjoy it and I know about the money worries. I'm going to be saving at least £500 a month to get us through my time off work so just make a plan to help with a solution and do that!

SweetMummy911 Thu 24-Nov-16 11:23:08

PinkCandyFloss thanks for your reply - when are you due?

pinkcandyflossy Thu 24-Nov-16 12:16:35

I'm due 1st July smile

SweetMummy911 Thu 24-Nov-16 12:20:14

I'm due 22nd July - we are bump buddies smile

3rdLittlemonkey Thu 24-Nov-16 13:15:41

I'm expecting baby number three too and I'm so scared ! Dd is 5 and I know she will be over the moon but ds is 18 months and extremely clingy! I'm trying to distance him now in preperation for the new arrival in July. But it's so hard as all he wants is to be held and cuddled all day! and night times are just becoming impossible !!
I'm hoping in the next 8 months I can crack this and having three will be a breeze ( wishful thinking !! ) xx

SweetMummy911 Thu 24-Nov-16 13:47:19

*3rdLittleMonkey" I have a 4 year old and a nearly 18 month old - my youngest is the same as yours, really clingy and wants to be carried everywhere. Just hoping that 7 months is enough to teach her mummy needs to put her down sometimes hmm

HeteronormativeHaybales Thu 24-Nov-16 14:03:54

3rdlittlemonkey - don't 'distance' him. He's showing you that he needs you. Really, it won't help. 18 months is so little. And July is a very long way away.
My first two were 2.4y apart and I certainly didn't hold dc1 at arm's length when dc2 was on the way! When dc2 arrived there was a lot of cuddling on the sofa and reading with dc1 while I fed dc2. And lots of walks, with dc2 in sling.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now