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Ex mother in law trying to cause trouble

(19 Posts)
user1474319850 Sat 05-Nov-16 21:55:35

Hi um this is kinda personal but i didnt know what else to do and google wasnt answering anything. When i fell pregnant, my ex left me and refused to have anything to do with us. Before we broke up, he told his mother (as we are quite young) and she came over my house. She is a social worker and to cut it short basically said if i didnt have an abortion she would make my life hell because of her job. A few months later my ex said he wants to talk so i phoned him, little did i know his mother was there and she said if i didnt let my ex see the baby she would tell social services some story about me being an unstable person. I told my ex to stop lying about things because he was saying i cheated on him (i never ever did that) and then she said if i thought he was good lying she could do ten times better to social services. She said she could get grandparents rights and that she could get custody. Obviously because she is a social worker im stressing myself out? What can i do? I have written what was said down but it was over the phone so i cant prove it. Should i go to the police or social services and tell them what she's doing?

Any advice is appreciated thank you xx

Polyethyl Sat 05-Nov-16 22:05:20

I think you should move this thread to either legal or relationships, where you will get a bigger response.

That sounds a stressful situation, so I hope you get good advice.

SpeckledyBanana Sat 05-Nov-16 22:07:36

Fucking hell OP, find her employer and report her. That's an absolutely horrendous abuse of her position.

Jodie1982 Sat 05-Nov-16 22:10:10

I would definitely call police for harassment and contact Citizens advice for help. She sounds awful. Sorry your going through such a stressful situation. Do you have support from family and friends? Have you told anybody what's happening?

chipmonkey Sat 05-Nov-16 22:10:56

You should probably speak to a solicitor. I doubt very much if she could get custody; she sounds like she's trying to scare you. Also very unprofessional for a social worker. You should report her.

Isawthepigsfly Sat 05-Nov-16 22:12:51

Report her to her employer, let your midwife and health visitor know. Seek advice from the police also.

Basically cover all angles to protect yourself and your baby.

sweetchilli77 Sat 05-Nov-16 22:13:03

write everything down,,,if possible only use contact which can be recorded, txt to email. Ensure you have details of what MIL in saying....get the right sacked

Wishforsnow Sat 05-Nov-16 22:13:06

Just try to ignore any calls and see if they text/email then you have something logged. Not a surprise a social worker is trying this. There is no such thing as grandparents rights so try not to panic

Aquasport Sat 05-Nov-16 22:16:04

Report her and log everything - that seems a sensible option

kikiroo Sat 05-Nov-16 22:16:31

Oh my goodness OP.. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through an awful time. I agree with Polyethyl and SpeckledyBanana.. Definitely report her.. this is wrong! And she should be punished and fired for her abuse of position! I hope it all works out in your favour..

Heirhelp Sat 05-Nov-16 22:22:08

I agree with the above. Also tell your midwife what is happening.

There is no such thing as grandparents rights. If there is no reason why your ex should not see baby e.g. Violence or drug use then he has every right to a relationship with his child.

Send your ex a text message and say all future contact between the two of you should be by email so you have evidence. If they try to call you hang up.

kikiroo Sat 05-Nov-16 22:46:36

Hmmm in some ways I wouldn't message them to say 'all future contact between the two of you should be by email so you have evidence' as these texts, messages emails could be VERY valuable evidence which she's currently lacking. I agree with letting your midwife know, letting close family know and reporting her to the police.

kikiroo Sat 05-Nov-16 22:48:06

oops! totally misread that!! Yes! Do what HEIRHELP says!

alltouchedout Sat 05-Nov-16 22:55:51

You could raise a concern about her with the hcpc: www.hpc-uk.org/complaints/raiseaconcern/

ConvincingLiar Sun 06-Nov-16 07:03:18

Go and see a solicitor for advice.

ConvincingLiar Sun 06-Nov-16 07:04:05

(Some will see you for a first appointment for free).

honeydewcactus Sun 06-Nov-16 07:13:03

I would report your concern to her emloyer, if things get worse and you don't report her you'll be asked why didn't you teport this. Then I would make sure any communication is in written format, no phone calls (unless you can record them) and always have a witness available if you meet. Record everything in a diary. The woman is deranged.

thethoughtfox Sun 06-Nov-16 07:16:35

Can you record any of these conversations?

TataEs Sun 06-Nov-16 07:26:04

you can buy call recording apps for your phone. my Dh uses one for conference calls for work. but i wouldn't answer the phone to either of them tbh.
also tell your midwife. you can have note on your file saying they are not to be allowed in the hospital etc
and call 101 and chat to the police. when my neighbour was harassing me when i was pregnant they were so kind and helpful, went round and warned her off, even tho ultimately it was very my word against hers, they told her she could lose her job etc and what she was doing was actually quite serious, not just a petty misdemeanour.
they should open a domestic dispute case, and you can call every time she attempts contact/says or does something and log it officially with them.
your MIL thinks you are young and stupid and she can manipulate you. she cannot. don't allow her.

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