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Pregnant very early in relationship...oops

(31 Posts)
123456london Sat 05-Nov-16 10:53:50

My (very) new boyfriend and I found out a month ago I am PG. now 9 weeks. We are both in our 30s, have established careers, financially very stable, and huge support around us (friends and parents are over the moon). Boyfriend is beyond supportive re news, he is absolutely thrilled and I cannot fault him as a partner or dad to be (he makes me look undomesticated and lazy around the house, he truly has 'adulting' down to an art). His emotional and practical support has been amazing. We've actually known eachother for 3 years through work, and were mates(ish) pre flirting and the eventual romantic relationship began.
My worries stem from the very, very early nature of our relationship. I'm actually too embarassed to admit just how early this pregnancy is in our relationship! Everyone close to us knows this and still give full support as they know how longed for children are for both me and him and just how fully on board he is for me. And what a great couple we are already despite not having much of a foundation to work from.
I'm very embarassed about telling work, people there will work back dates and put 2+2 together and equal 4 i.e. A very big 'oops' pregnancy (which we did not do a lot to prevent, admittedly). I feel I will be judged and ridiculed behind my back, although both me and boyfriend are well liked and respected by colleagues and management.
So far, so good with us as a couple. I'm not embarassed about telling him about my constipation, sore boobs, moaning constantly about sickness, i.e we are comfortably settling into this pregnancy like we are in an established relationship. We will be living together by the time baby comes, but not at this point.
Bf adores me, I'm a very lucky woman, I love him too. He will make a lovely, selfless dad. But am still very nervous about the future, what people will think, our chances of success of 'making this work' in the long run etc
Looking for some success stories of a similar nature if possible please! Thank you

TwentyCups Sat 05-Nov-16 10:58:56

One of my friends fell pregnant a month into a relationship. She gave birth on their first Christmas together! It was hard and forced them to have to skip a lot of the fun easy dating stage. She was very young too, 19 when the baby was born which brings its own struggles.

However they just celebrated their second wedding anniversary, and their lovely child is nearly six. They were friends for a few years prior to becoming a couple which I think is a huge help - it's not the same as having a baby with a relative stranger.
You will have to come to terms with the fact this races the relationship forwards, and will be hard on the romance factor between you. However, there are many success stories of similar couples, and your long standing friendship with this man should make this easier. Congratulations and good luck.

GemmaB78 Sat 05-Nov-16 11:02:36

We had been together 9 months and had just moved into together when we conceived - literally! We worked out it happened during the first week of cohabiting. 2years on and we are still blissfully happy. My OH is the best father our son could have. He's been incredibly supportive throughout. We are a strong, family unit and get married next year.

OK so your timing is not brilliant, but it sounds like your OH is similarly supportive.

Go with it, but take time to focus on the two of you as much as you can. You need a solid foundation in place before your baby is born.

Good luck!

PoloZolo Sat 05-Nov-16 11:08:10

I don't have any success stories that I know of (although I'm sure there are many) but I think if you present this as positive news and that although it was a surprise you are both thrilled and things are going well then others (colleagues, friends, family) will follow your lead & be excited for you too. Don't worry about what people think, you are both old enough to know what you want in life, have had experience in relationships etc, if other people want to judge they aren't worth thinking about.

StrawbRhi Sat 05-Nov-16 12:53:12

I fell pregnant just 4 months into a new relationship. Complete surprise, I was told that due to the severity of my PCOS I would probably never conceive naturally and it was just one night!

We've now been married for 4 years, our daughter will be 6 on Christmas Day and after 4 miscarriages, I am 9 weeks pregnant with our second. Sometimes we lament that we've never really been 'a couple' but it was also easier to adjust to being parents as we'd never known life without her! Friends of ours had been together 12 years before they had a baby and found that their relationship couldn't handle a 3 person.

We've had ups and downs, some really tested the strength of our marriage but we've remained strong the whole way and I do not regret anything. Our DD is proof we were meant to be.

Some people were shocked at how quickly our relationship progressed but most think it's a great story.

livelyredjellybean Sat 05-Nov-16 13:01:21

I actually hired my partner in December to help me move. By January we were a couple, February we were officially living together (although from the moment we got together we spent no more than 3 nights apart), March I fell pregnant! 8 months along, we are now engaged and blissfully happy. When its right, its right!

Oysterbabe Sat 05-Nov-16 13:02:43

There will be a few raised eyebrows but who cares? Congratulations smile

divadee Sat 05-Nov-16 13:14:26

It happens and it does work for a lot of people.

With my OH we broke up between Jan-March this year (not actually due to relationship issues, just I had a breakdown and pushed everyone away and locked myself in the house to recover. I got professional help and counselling and we are stronger than ever). We got back together, and then May BOOM! This little surprise comes along. I know a few people have thought we only got back together cos I was pregnant etc.... But they are wrong we were back together 2 months before this one made herself known. Now 28 weeks, bought a property and loving life together.

Don't worry what other people think, they will always judge no matter what the truth. Do what you and OH thinks is right and screw the rest of them.

TeddyIsaHe Sat 05-Nov-16 13:21:37

I met my DP on Valentine's day this year, our little girl is due exactly one month before our year anniversary! Sometimes when it's right it's right, and we're making it work. Of course it's harder not having known each other for that long, but honestly I've never regretted it for a second. You will be fine, ignore raised eyebrows and enjoy your pregnancy! Sounds like you've met someone really lovely, and I'm sure you're both going to be excellent parents.

InsaneMummyOfThree Sat 05-Nov-16 22:34:18

Hi op I have been in your situation. I knew my partner for 10years before we got together but he was married with children. Fast forward 10 years and he contacted me on the old fb and we started chatting (must add that he had been divorced for 2 years at this point). We chatted and flirted for a few months before finally admitting our feelings and got together on the 1st of August. We declared our love for each other straight away and by the end of September I was pregnant with our first child. We have now been together for 5 1/2 years and I'm expecting our 4th child!!!! Fast workers but I love him to bits and our life is perfect. Please don't worry about what other think. It's your life and if your both happy then it's no one else's business. Hold your head up high and be proud. I alway remember the look on peoples faces when I proudly showed off my 27 week bump in a figure hugging dress ( which had previously been hidden under winter clothes). You could see the gossip cogs turning dying to go talk about it but I did care. Congratulations on the pregnancy and good luck to you both. Xx

Thatwaslulu Sat 05-Nov-16 22:37:45

I fell pg with my DS a couple of months into my relationship with DH. Completely unplanned and neither of us had a pot to piss in, other than both having full time jobs. It worked for us, we got married a year later and are still together 17 years on.

MidnightBreeze Sat 05-Nov-16 22:41:13

Hey OP, falling pregnant quite early in a relationship is quite common

3 months after I met my OH, 3months after my DM met her DH & again with her second DH!

Of course people will judge, however it's none of their business! Xx

IJustWantABrew Sat 05-Nov-16 22:43:12

A good friend of mine got pregnant about a month after she started dating someone which was about 2 months after she split up with her ex. She was terrified to tell people since they hadn't been together that long. Don't think anyone really batted an eyelid. They are getting married next year.
It's 2016, not 1936 lots of people have pregnancies early in the relationship.
It's early, but as long as your happy that's the main thing. He sounds like a good egg smile

realwoodlogs Sat 05-Nov-16 22:44:57

I met my oh, got together and got pregnant within 1 month of meeting.

Married 15 years, together 18.

Was also v young when happened (late teens).

Kim82 Sat 05-Nov-16 22:47:47

I had been with my partner 6 months when I got pregnant. I had two older children from a previous relationship so I was quite worried about how things would work out at first. We've now been together 10.5 years, our dd is now 9, we've been married 7.5 years and have since had another dd together who is now 2. I think when you know you're with the right person then there is nothing that will phase you as a couple, unplanned pregnancies and all.

Princesspinkgirl Sun 06-Nov-16 00:09:36

I am currently pregnant and I fell pregnant just a week into our relationship due Christmas day we've been together since March 31st so this Christmas we will be having our first christmas together and first baby he is over the moon I was more shocked then him

Northernlurker Sun 06-Nov-16 00:24:45

Just over four weeks in for me. We were young and daft grin
That's over 19 years ago, still married, we have three beautiful daughters and our oldest has just started medical school. We've done ok. Good luck op, you say you were friends first and that's the best foundation. Dh and I were friends too.

AmyC86 Sun 06-Nov-16 00:50:16

As long as you work hard & get to know each other I'm sure that it'll be fine, a relationship isn't easy, but I do think that people give up too easily these days & just don't even try.

There's a film 'knocked up' which is similar to your story & even they lived happily ever after.

Even if it doesn't work out, there are plenty of amicable couples who have children together who aren't acctually together in a relationship, just keep it amicable and it'll be fine!

Becciilouisex3 Sun 06-Nov-16 02:17:53

It sounds like you have the beginnings of a wonderful relationship. This man sounds very good to you and you obviously have a rather deep relationship where you feel you can share anything with him even in the early stages.

I fell pregnant quickly my boyfriend but we'd been friends for a couple of years too. When I told my family I was pregnant my mom was worried about how quickly I was pregnant because we "hadn't been together long". But my nan had some very wise words: "it doesn't matter whether you've been with someone for 5 minutes, 5 months, 5 years or 15 years, you have the same potential to either stay together or break up". (We're still together!)

There are couples who have been together years and planned babies who break up so I wouldn't give yourself a hard time over it. You can't stop people having opinions, they're like bum holes, everyone's got one but you can decide not to give a crap!

Good luck! smileflowers

Millionsmom Sun 06-Nov-16 02:45:23

Starting dating my new guy in the September. 3 weeks later we were engaged, 3 weeks later we were married, 9 months and a day later our son was born! DS is now 20.
So many people - friends and family - said we wouldn't last 20 months never mind 20 years. Quite a few thought we 'had' to get married and gossiped a bit when I became pregnant, there was even a sweepstake going for when our DS would really arrive. Yeah, folk are lovely aren't they!

Let them talk, it won't be as 'thrilling' as strictly in a few days I promise wink

'Time makes lovers feel that they've got something real, but you and me we know they've got nothing but time'

Congratulations on your great news flowers and I wish for you every happiness for your lives together.

Motherfuckers Sun 06-Nov-16 03:01:15

You clearly wanted to get pregnant, so it is a bit late to start worrying now.

MrsLouisTomlinson Sun 06-Nov-16 03:13:39

I was pregnant within 2 months of being with now DH. By the time we had been together a year we had bought a house and had a baby. That was 14 years ago, we've got a gorgeous daughter who was followed by a son a few years down the line. We've had our ups and downs and yeah, now that our daughter is old enough to work out how long we've been together vs how old she is there has been a few red faced moments but you know what? Who cares. If anyone questions it (and who would be so bloody rude?!) but if they did, just respond 'yes it's quick but we're so happy!'

Difficultyear2015 Sun 06-Nov-16 06:23:49

Started dating dp last November.
Moved in together march.
Found out I'm pregnant October.
Offer accepted on house November and waiting for the house sale to go through.
It's been very quick seeing as I had been married not long before I met him so also have a few raised eyebrows and we haven't even told friends we are having a baby yet

BikeRunSki Sun 06-Nov-16 06:32:40

You and your BF love each other, are financially stable, long for children and have family support..... sounds like ideal conditions to bring a child into the world!!

And it's not really a brand new relationship, you've known him 3 years, so it's not like you are still working out if you like each other or not.

Luckystar1 Sun 06-Nov-16 06:43:08

Don't worry about other people! I was (still am!) married for over a year when I got pregnant with DS and people still asked if it was planned! It was as it happens (as was my miscarried pregnancy before that), our DD was born 21 months later... no one asked if she was planned (she wasn't!).

People have their own stupid notions, ignore! Good luck with everything!

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