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I'm terrified(6 Posts)
I am 4-5 weeks pregnant with my first child and I am terrified. Of everything. Pregnancy, birth, actually having a baby. The dog was sick tonight and then I stood on a slug and I've just lost it. How am I going to take care of a baby if I can't deal with this? I'm 25 and non of my friends have kids so I feel like I'll be all alone. My partner (of 8yrs) on hearing me wail with dispare at the slug situation simply told me to "get a grip". That's the problem I don't! I'm so overwhelmed. I do want a baby but I just can't get my head round it right now and feel guilty about it. Is this normal?! It'll be better when I can tell my mum and talk to her but I can't for a few weeks.
If you need your mum's support now, then talk to her. Don't feel you have to wait for the 12 weeks (if that is what you are waiting for) if you are struggling right now.
Most people struggle to adjust to pregnancy and becoming a parent, luckily it is a slow process and hopefully you will gradually feel less overwhelmed. It is a huge change though, and what a shame your DP is being a bit useless right now. Tell him you need a hug and some proper support, not to be told to "get a grip".
Don't forget, as well as this all being a normal reaction, you will have hormones to contend with too!!
I was pregnant before all my friends, and I after a few weeks it suddenly hit me that I had never changed a nappy. I was really fixated on the fact I wouldn't be able to do it (in retrospect, I should have just brought a doll and a nappy, would have saved me weeks of hormonal irrational stressing). I watched YouTube videos, I googled it and, in fairness, I logically knew it wouldn't be that difficult, I think I was just so stressed about the whole entire thing that my brain had to focus on one single point.
I spent a fortune (I still wince thinking about it now) on pregnancy and baby books and read everything I could. I did chill out towards the end but I can honestly say I never once looked at those books once DS was born
and had no issues getting to grips with nappies.
Very few people know how to be a mum before they are one, and I suspect everyone panics, even if all your friends had had a baby first - it's still different when you know that baby is going to be your responsibility.
As PP said, if you can tell your mum now, then do. I had a strained relationship with my mum prior to DS but she was my rock through pregnancy and we have been close ever since. She was there with the answers to my never ending list of panicky questions and she never once minimised my concerns or made me feel silly.
Don't panic OP, you can do this! And congratulations!!
I'm guessing you've only just found out? Of course you are overwhelmed! Give yourself dome time. And stepping on a slug has to be one of the most hideous sensations! I did it when I was little and had no shoes on! Talk to your mum. Waiting until 12 weeks is only advised because 1 in 4 women miscarry before 12 weeks. If you announce publically and something happens you then have to tell lots of different people sad news which can be hard. In my experience, you need those closest too you when something like that happens, so tell them now. Good luck to you.
Thanks everyone. I'm not telling my mum for a few days simply cause my dad is working away and he'd be gutted if I didn't tell them together. I think I do need to speak to my partner, I know crying about dog sick, a full washing basket and a slug is totally irrational but I can't help it. I really do feel better now knowing it's normal to feel this panicked.
You will be fine. Pregnancy hormones are a bugger. My bil partner lost it while pregnant because McDonalds ran out of milkshake . I've had proper crying and sobbing over silly things and dh has rolled his eyes at me. I never had any experience with babies until mine came along but it will come naturally. There will be a 7 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd so almost like starting again with me. Congratulations
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