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Did anyone else mc their first pregnancy?

(37 Posts)
Lizziedoll Wed 02-Nov-16 09:23:30

Hello ladies
I was unsure where to post this but decided I might get more replies in this section as all of you ladies are pg.
I'll make it short, I mc'd my first pregnancy at 6w in July and it was so devastating however I am doing better thanks to time and antidepressants. We have been TTC ever since but no luck yet.
I worry as first of all first pregnancy loss seems fairly uncommon and each time I've read about them they were mmc! My mc was not missed, I just started bleeding a bit, had a scan detecting a heartbeat (faint) but my cervix was closed, I then lost it a few hours later, passed the pregnancy naturally.
My question is, have any of you lost their first in this way and then went on to have a child? I fear this wasn't an chromosomal anomaly but rather my body's fault. Any stories or insight muchly appreciated at this point, I feel so confused and disheartened.

DoublePumpkin Wed 02-Nov-16 09:37:13

Yes. Almost exactly the same thing happened to me with my first pregnancy. Saw a tiny heartbeat at 6w+4, miscarried naturally at exactly 7w.

It was heartbreaking at the time but I went on to have two successful, full term pregnancies.

I remember the sonographer who scanned me to make sure I didn't need a D&C told me that they 'expect' most first pregnancies to end in miscarriage. It was a slightly blunt bedside manner but I appreciated her matter of factness. It was reassuring in a way to know that it was common and there wasn't something wrong with me.

I think the stats for miscarriage overall are something like 1 in 3 pregnancies will end in MC. But with first time pregnancies it's more like 50%.

flowers

summerskittles91 Wed 02-Nov-16 09:48:09

Lizziedoll

Having a MC is more common than you think, when I first got pregnant earlier this year having a mc/loss didn't even cross my mind. I was ecstatic when I found I was pregnant but when it resulted in a mc, I was devastated, I felt bitter and angry and kept thinking why me. I kept thinking I had done something wrong and it was difficult to move on from.

I'm now pregnant, 18+1 and it took a few months after the MC to get pregnant again. I have felt nothing but nerves throughout, and was in tears at my 12 weeks scan as I was convinced something may have happened. all is well so far but it's not been easy, I won't lie, I have days where I'm full of panic and other days where I am so excited. Losing the baby first time was difficult, and I think when it's your first pregnancy its harder as you have so many unanswered questions and it's all new to you.

With TTC I would say relax as much as you can (easier said than done I know!) just eat healthy, cut out any alcohol and look after yourself. I found preseed gel worked for us. It might be worth trying. Don't have any other ttc advice I'm afraid. x

Grapefruit8 Wed 02-Nov-16 09:59:31

Hi,
I also had a MC with my first. Mine was a MMC, we had a scan and saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks then unfortunately lost baby around the 9 week mark but my body didn't start the process until after 11 weeks. It was 12 weeks by the time I fully miscarried. Through my time in hospital I also came to realise how common it actually is, I had no idea prior to this how many pregnancies end in miscarriage. It then took us 5 full cycles to conceive again and I am now 33 weeks pregnant and due to finish work in 2 weeks for my maternity leave. The only thing I can say is keep the faith, it seems hard at times but things do get better.

smellsofelderberries Wed 02-Nov-16 10:18:21

Actually, first pregnancies are more likely to end in miscarriage than another other. I had a MMC for my first pregnancy (embryo never grew more than 5mm or had a heartbeat, I was being monitored), but was pregnant again 6 weeks after surgery and am currently sitting on an exercise ball trying to encourage my girl to engage as I'd rather not see my due date in 10 days time! I was also convinced my body had failed as I was also seeing an endocrinologist about a potential dodgy thyroid, and after a rocky start to this pregnancy with a SCH, it's been a textbook, easy pregnancy.
It's such a tough time, but keep your head up. You'll get there, and it will be wonderful when you do flowers

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 Wed 02-Nov-16 10:34:53

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks, normal miscarriage, just started bleeding and cramping, went to EPU and no baby. I remember the sister on the ward saying to me that miscarriages are more common than the statistics would tell you and that many people go on to have successful pregnancies after one.

We were lucky to conceive quite quickly afterwards and I am now 37+1 with pregnancy no.2. The first trimester was really hard as I was constantly worrying (actually I still do, it seems to me there is always something to worry about during pregnancy!) and I did get spotting at 9 weeks, but a trip to the EPU confirmed that baby was still there and growing normally.

As pp have said, keep trying, don't put too much pressure on yourself and I hope that you get a positive soon!

fauxhito Wed 02-Nov-16 10:38:00

MC with your first pregnancy is very very common - like smells says, more common with your first than any other.
I miscarried my first and have gone on to have 3 subsequent healthy pregnancies (and three healthy babies!).

MissMooMoo Wed 02-Nov-16 10:38:22

flowers I lost my first pregnancy in early August at 6 weeks and I am not 11+4, don't lose hope!

MissMooMoo Wed 02-Nov-16 10:38:46

That should say I am now 11+4

CmereTilliTellYa Wed 02-Nov-16 10:42:31

Two of my very close friends had miscarriages in their first pregnancy. One ha since had a baby which was conceived quite quickly after her miscarriage. It still early days for my other friend. I think it is very common but obviously very worrying and upsetting.

OllyBJolly Wed 02-Nov-16 10:43:51

My experience is also that first pregnancies are more likely to end in MC than subsequent pregnancies. Mine did at 12 weeks.

I had 2 MCs, then DD1 and then MC a twin when pregnant with DD2.

BWatchWatcher Wed 02-Nov-16 10:45:41

I had a mmc in my first pregnancy. I fell pregnant the next cycle and now have 2 ds. Both of my sils also had miscarriages their first pregnancies but now have children,
Stay positive, it'll happen

theseyounglions Wed 02-Nov-16 10:51:58

Hi,
I also mc on June this year 6 weeks, feeling the exact same guilt type feelings, it was my fault, I ate the wrong things, I went in a hot tub, I lifted that plant pot and so on. After deciding I would'nt keep it a secret in this strange tradition of silence, I told people, mostly women and discovered through talking to people they are so common, especially in the first few weeks. It isn't your fault. It seems to take a while for our bodies to get better from it mentally and physically, it took nine weeks for another period, but I am 9 weeks pregnant now. Even the midwife told me she misscarried on her birthday, the florist 6 misscarriages!! (Dont let that put you off though) Try and be positive and think everything happens for a reason. Its really hard and the six week mark was a challenge, I am also not letting myself get as excited as I could, and maybe did. I guess thats just self protection. Good luck x

TiredAndDeadly Wed 02-Nov-16 10:52:44

Sorry for what you're going through op.

My first mc really hit me hard. It was my first pregnancy. I went on to have a very healthy, beautiful and perfect little boy.

Then mc again. Then had another beautiful, healthy, gorgeous boy.

Then another perfect little creature not sure he's human but he looks like a boy

It's so hard when it's a complete shock. You expect your life to go one way then out of the blue it's going another. I hope you and your dp are getting lots of support. Take your time. I hope you get the results you want soon xxx

KateTheShrew Wed 02-Nov-16 11:26:46

I had a mmc in my first pregnancy, and was also told that mcs are very, very common in first pregnancies.

I went on to get pregnant again three months later and now have a two year old. I'm also currently 23 weeks pregnant again and (fingers crossed) all seems to be going well this time too. No other mcs in between those pregnancies.

AFAIK, the difference between a missed mc and other mcs is just the time it takes your body to recognise that the pregnancy isn't progressing properly. I'm not sure it has anything to do with chromosomal abnormalities vs any other problem. Remember, the vast majority of all mcs are due to chromosomal problems and not to do with the mother's ability to carry a child, but if this is worrying you, perhaps speak to your GP and see if they can set your mind at rest on this point?

flowers for you, it's a horrible experience, and when it's your only experience of pregnancy i think it's completely natural that it makes you feel as if it can't possibly go smoothly the next time . I know I spent the early part of my last pregnancy convinced that something would go wrong because it had done the first time, but all was fine. I've been a bit more relaxed this time. I hope you go on to have the same positive outcomes that everyone on this thread is telling you about.

Lizziedoll Wed 02-Nov-16 11:47:07

Thank you so much to everyone who commented, it has given me hope. I am sorry for all your losses flowers

Barefootcontessa84 Wed 02-Nov-16 11:47:18

Hi Lizziedoll - I don't have any additional advice to give you, but I remember you from the July bus and other threads - sending you a supportive wave, and hoping it'll happen for you soon flowers

NorthLondonMum83 Wed 02-Nov-16 11:51:37

Sorry for your loss OP. I miscarried my first at around 10wks. Went on to have healthy son after getting pregnant around 8 months after MC, that's not a long wait in the scheme of things but felt it! 21weeks now with my second baby. The number of friends I have with experience of miscarriage is really quite high, all of them have babies now or are late on in pregnancy. It's so hard and the loss is incredibly difficult but please don't feel that it's rare or that you're alone!

boodles101 Wed 02-Nov-16 12:46:31

Sorry for your loss. I lost my first around 6 weeks too and was pregnant again 2 months later. I'm now currently 30 weeks and all is going well. I think it's definitely more common than people think, it's just generally not really talked about much.

user1476991850 Wed 02-Nov-16 12:51:02

Sorry to hear this, it's a horrid time flowers

I got pregnant the first month of trying, I was so shocked. I then had a natural miscarriage at almost six weeks. It's was devastating even thought it was so early. We decided to try again straight away and I was pregnant the following month (so only a few weeks later). I feel very lucky and I'm now 20+4.

I hope that helps reassure you. It sounds very common and doesn't necessarily mean you'll have any issues in the future. X

Helbelle75 Wed 02-Nov-16 12:54:41

So sorry. I had a MMC in May this year at 10.5 weeks, baby's heartbeat stopped around 8 weeks and it took my body a while to recognise it. The most devastating thing to have happened to me, and talking to others it's very common, just not talked about.
I conceived again 2 cycles afterwards and am now 17+1 with this pregnancy. All seems to be going well, but I am still quite anxious.

NannyGR Wed 02-Nov-16 13:17:58

I am feeling your pain op!!
I am currently in the middle of a miscarriage, day 14 of bleeding and back to the gp tomorrow who will hopefully finally refer me for a scan!! As my nurse doesn't seem to think I passed enough blood and that there may be some retained tissue. This was my first pregnancy after ttc over 4 years!!! Devastated wasn't the word but I just want it all to be over so I can think about trying again!!
I also am worried that maybe it's just not meant to be... but part of me really wants to hold on to the hope that atleast now I know I can fall pregnant.

I hope you get your happy ending soon flowers

PonkAlert Wed 02-Nov-16 14:56:37

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 11 weeks. I was completely shocked and devastated. I thought miscarriage was something very rare that only happened to soap characters and I felt stupid when I found out the statistics.

I fell pregnant again six months later but miscarried again at six weeks.

We kept trying but nothing happened. My GP referred us to the fertility doctors and whilst we were waiting, twenty cycles after my last miscarriage, we conceived our daughter.

When she turned one we decided to try again, knowing how long it can take to conceive and the likelihood of miscarriage along the way. We conceived the second month of trying. I didn't even get excited - I thought this would be the first of a few miscarriages on the way to our second DC. The baby "stuck" and is now two weeks old!

For me nothing sums up the chaos of life more than trying to conceive. Good luck on your journey flowers

Heatherbell1978 Wed 02-Nov-16 15:02:14

Yes I had a mc at 8 weeks with my first. Then got pregnant at next ovulation. DS1 is now 2 and I'm pregnant with DD1 (23 weeks).

Crazylazygirl Wed 02-Nov-16 15:25:40

I had a mc with my first too, at about 6 and a half weeks. It was an unexpected pregnancy but still devastating at the time. I was pregnant again 9 months later (we didn't try for a while and it took us just a couple of months to concieve ). My eldest is 7 now and now I see it as just something that happened (not to trivialise how you feel now, or how anyone else feels in the same situation) and that I wouldn't have my wonderful daughter if that pregnancy had continued. Of course time makes it easier.
I have no idea why it happened but I do know a few other women who have had the same and gone on to have healthy babies. I hope the replies here help you to relax a bit and that you have a healthy pregnancy soon x

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