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Full term, suddenly the thought of giving birth is terrifying me...anyone else??

(37 Posts)
WickerHearts Tue 01-Nov-16 20:17:01

Just that really...

I've not thought too much about giving birth through pregnancy, up until now. Suddenly I'm feeling terrified sad
I'm not really sure what I'm asking for in this post, but just feel a need to put it out there and see if anyone else is feeling the same??

chatnanny Tue 01-Nov-16 20:22:31

Everyone has a moment like this before the first. I remember walking home from GP check up about 38 weeks. Doctor had a good feel and said it was a big baby (we had no idea in those days as scans were more basic) I remember thinking how is this going to get out?! But I told myself billions of women have done this before and they're not so special. All will be well. Concentrate on relaxing and go with the flow. By the way my daughter was only just over 7lbs so he was wrong anyway! Best of luck.

PassTheCake82 Tue 01-Nov-16 22:53:53

Yes, I'm 30+6 and have been avoiding thinking about it so far. That was until I had my anaesthetic review and was told to get my care plan ready! I'm petrified!

gaggiagirl Tue 01-Nov-16 23:01:13

I'm due DC3 any day now. I too am absolutely shitting it! I'm having a home birth. What was I thinking shock

Sweetheartyparty76 Tue 01-Nov-16 23:16:14

Oh yes!!! 40w+2 and I've been having false labour pains for the past 2 days and I know it will get a whole lot worse and I can barely cope with the pains I'm having. I just want to go into hospital so they can give me pain relief as paracetamol just isn't cutting it. Good luck and hoefully soon we will be out the other side x

AvalancheRoses Tue 01-Nov-16 23:18:12

I found that birth wasn't as bad as people made out tbh. Yes it's pain, a lot of pain, over a long period of time (my daughter was 23.5 hours of back to back labour). I also gave birth to my son three weeks ago. Both I kept calm, and didn't require any drugs. Do as much research as possible into things like hypnobirthing. Read up on how contractions work and how quickly they will come and how they change. The more knowledge you have, the calmed you will be and when you are calm, your body will relax and allow your endorphins to work.

Saku Wed 02-Nov-16 09:20:04

I am 33 weeks. with 2nd....
with first it was 16 hours labour with epidural... Therefore I was also gasping from starting how its gonna be..
AvalancheRoses... you are awesome....... you gave me such a huge confidence. star

Nikki2ol6 Wed 02-Nov-16 09:22:01

Try not to worry!! Your body is designed to do this so just relax and trust it

Oh god yes. I remember the birthing feeling well. Even after a horrendous birth (which I still think about 8 months later) and all I have to do is look at DD and know that I would do it all again just for one of her smiles.
I think everyone gets the fear. It's only natural.
I have 3 friends who gave birth shortly after me and had the most amazing birth stories without pain killers (except paracetamol).
Have you tried hypno-birthing?

WickerHearts Wed 02-Nov-16 16:21:15

Thank you ladies for your kind replies, I knew I couldn't be the only one.
I've not looked into hypno birthing, to be honest, I've heard it mentioned, but never really known what it is.
I've done a fair amount of research, as well as taking classes, to understand labour and how it all works, different breathing techniques etc so don't feel I'm going into it completely's probably more a fear of the unknown I think. Every labour is so different and you have no idea how yours is going to go until it is over.
But at the same time we can't wait to meet our baby and take him/her home smile

AyeAmarok Wed 02-Nov-16 16:25:33

I hear you. I'm 38 weeks with my first and I'm absolutely terrified.

Trying to think calm thoughts, but failing!

UnicornPee Wed 02-Nov-16 17:48:49

This is my 3rd and although my labours were straight forward I haven't forgotten about the unbearable pain.

WickerHearts Wed 02-Nov-16 22:39:29

Same! One minute I think to myself that he/she has to come out whether I worry about it or not, it has still got to happen. But then the next minute I'm in a blind panic about it all again sad
I've been reading about perineal massage this evening, has anyone been doing this? Wondering whether to give it a go?

gaggiagirl Thu 03-Nov-16 11:55:54

I can't even reach my perineum!
I'm totally dreading it. I only gave birth 13 months ago and it's all very fresh in my mind still. It was fast and straight forward but it frigging hurt.

RedLemonade Thu 03-Nov-16 12:03:20

I ended up with a CS but one thing that really helped with the contractions was something I read about the nature of the pain.

Essentially that most pain we experience is a signal that something is wrong- a warning signal from our bodies. But that labour pain isn't "danger" pain, it is the pain of your body transitioning into a new state (one without the baby inside it!). So it's "transformational" pain. It's not danger.

RedLemonade Thu 03-Nov-16 12:04:50

Pressed post too soon! But yes, reframing the pain as something transitory that was a force for good and was getting me where I needed to be, that was a great psychological help!

cantmakeme Thu 03-Nov-16 22:02:05

It's such a different pain to normal pain. It felt like something natural to me, rather than a terrifying pain. I do remember freaking out at transition, but only because my body felt out of control. Before you know it, it will be over and done with, yippeee!

Dixiechick17 Thu 03-Nov-16 22:40:21

Labour pain is different in that you know there will eventually be an end to it, no matter how the baby arrives. I remember my first contraction and it bought me to my knees, but I was also excited that I was finally going to meet my DD, and chose to focus on that, I also used hypnobirthing techniques and was lucky to have a pretty short labour. Whilst yes, your body is designed to do this, it's not that straightforward for everyone, so keep an open mind and don't get to hung up on the type of birth you want, just concentrate on the gorgeous little bundle you'll get to hold at the end.

gaggiagirl Fri 04-Nov-16 09:45:06

Good posts there about labour pain. It is true, it's pain with a purpose. I remember being genuinely relieved at the transition stage because I knew that the end was nigh! 😁

RoseDeGambrinus Fri 04-Nov-16 10:21:15

If you can get hold of Juju Sundin's book Birth Skills, I totally recommend it. I was lucky to have two straightforward labours where I did think "this is horrible, it really fucking hurts, can I stop now" but at the same time I knew I could actually do it and I didn't feel frightened or out of control, I was sort of in the zone, and it wasn't at all like the scare stories. And remember there's no shame in going for all the drugs if you need them, especially if you have a long labour.

WickerHearts Fri 04-Nov-16 10:38:19

Thanks ladies, reassuring to hear.
After reading into different types of pain relief properly and discussing with midwife, I feel a lot more informed and has probably changed my mind on a couple of things I had previously thought.
I know it'll all be worth it when we have our little one here smile

Embolio Fri 04-Nov-16 10:56:18

Glad you're feeling a bit better about it. I mean - It's not fun. I've had 3 labours, one excruciating, one not that bad and one in between the two. Keeping calm and using hypnobirthing techniques I found helped up to a point.

The major thing is that IT WILL BE OVER. Every contraction is a step closer to your baby being born. Don't worry about what you 'should' be doing - if you want to move about do it, if you need pain relief get it, just play it by ear. Good luck flowers

WinterRose92 Fri 04-Nov-16 18:54:36

I'm 35+1 with my 1st and am starting to feel quite nervy about it all now! Not so long ago I was thinking, 'Ah, it's all ages away, haven't gotta think about that yet, got plenty of time!' Now reality has kicked in, my Mum told me yesterday I should get my hospital bag ready, just in case, and also we are in the process of moving house, and I'm just panicking that he could come before we are into the new place! Up until last week we didn't even know we'd be moving! That being said, my partner and I have great families and I know if it did happen, we'd be okay, it would all turn out okay. I just feel that it can feel a bit lonely sometimes when you're thinking about the birth but when you get talking to people who have been through it they felt exactly the same, it's normal. Especially with the 1st, it's the unknown!

Dlah Fri 04-Nov-16 21:56:05

This was definitely me! I gave birth on Monday. I've sat and reflected on it and how it went, it wasn't as straight forward as I hoped, however, of everything that happened, things that prior to the birth scared me beyond belief at the prospect of happening, nothing was anything near as bad as imagined.

Such a mental barrier than anything else (waters being broken, epidural, episiotomy, forceps, stitches, pooing!!) and to sit here and say I've been through all that doesn't even seem to match right now. I can't fault the staff and my partner that got me through and we're so supportive and reassuring and made me feel safe.

Just focus on that little boy/girl making their way, I wish you a safe and smooth delivery x

bellarosa81 Sat 05-Nov-16 21:32:51

I'm 35 weeks with No 3 and Ive started to feel a bit nervous and scared though i can't pintpoint why exactly .......

I did a lot of prep with hypnobirthing with My second Child and it helped tremendously with contractions , but then i lost it and was pushing wrong and in the moment just felt like i couldn't do it .....

But i know that i can and i Will so My advice is just believe in yourself and your body .....i'm going to try to Work on that !

Good luck !

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