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Council housing

(21 Posts)
jayne9444 Mon 31-Oct-16 18:58:00

First of all, I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section.

I became pregnant whilst on the implant, so my pregnancy was obviously unplanned.

My boyfriend already has a son who stays at ours every week. We live in a two bedroom downstairs flat because my step son is disabled.

Boyfriend thinks we will have no bother getting a bigger council house - it's on step sons statement that due to his disability he's unable to share a room with anyone else. However, I've been reading online and the council don't have to re-house us until our baby is 1. Year old?

My boyfriend works constant nightshift, so it's going to be problematic having the baby in our room. We have a living room, but this only fits in the setee and a tv.

I'm just at a loss as to where this baby is even going to go. We both work full time, but are on low income jobs so private renting isn't an option (I've looked at prices).

Then I'm worried about childcare because mum boyfriend comes in from work, sleeps all day then gets up just before work and is out again as he works 12 hour shifts.

I can't afford not to go back to work, but I have no-one to look after baby either. My parents both still work.

My mum thinks I'm selfish for keeping a baby 'we can't afford' but I would never forgive myself for having an abortion.

Sorry for the moan, just feel so lost and stressed!!

Nottalotta Mon 31-Oct-16 19:05:19

I work in housing. At my local authority, the step son wouldn't be taken into account, he has a permanent place of residence elsewhere. So with you, partner and new baby you would not be overcrowded or lacking a bedroom.

I would give them a call on Monday to ask for further advice.

notgivingin789 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:06:15

I presume that the step son doesn't live with you and your partner full time? and does your mum an her boyfriend also live in the house ?

I don't know everything about housing and don't know how it works. But I think your housing situation will stay the same.

The baby can share with you and your partner..but I don't know how you feel about that.

notgivingin789 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:12:14

That's what I thought Notta I didn't think the step son would be taken into account as he doesn't live with the OP full time and I don't think OP's situation would be considered to be overcrowded.

Regarding the childcare, both you and your partner need to discuss your options. If child care is a concern, maybe you or your partner may need to cut their work outs or stop work for the time being.

jayne9444 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:16:16

Hello.

Step son stays at ours 2/3 nights a week - depends on boyfriends shifts. We have stepson every night boyfriend isn't at work, but it's joint custody (went to court and everything).

That's what I said to my boyfriend - I don't think we will be classed as over croweded! But at what point does our child not be expected to share with us? We can't fit a double bed and a single bed in the room.

OddBoots Mon 31-Oct-16 19:21:38

Is your house your step-son's main residence so where is child benefit paid, the address the GP/hospital have for him etc?

NerrSnerr Mon 31-Oct-16 19:23:42

To follow the safe sleep guidelines (have a look on the lullaby trust website) the baby should be in with you for 6 months anyway so if you think sharing will be problematic then that's the first thing you'll have to figure out.

InTheseFlipFlops Mon 31-Oct-16 19:23:44

This is going to be the last thing you want to read, but i have seen families have to have a bunk bed with a double at the bottom for the parents and a single at the top. There must be an age its considered not suitable but I'm not sure what age that is. You will need to give them a ring, or shelter might be able to give you advice on what they should do.

As a private renter, don't let them push you into private renting. Your situations crap, but at least you know your child will be able to stay at the same school and your not likely to have a huge rent increase.

jayne9444 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:25:38

Stepsons mum gets the child benefit!

So does this mean when stepson stays here th council don't count him as a person? hmm

Because there's no way he can share a room.. his mum even has it on his statement because of the nature of his disabilities.

I really don't know what to do, because I do t think I can cope living with a baby ontop of how little our flat already is.

Mamabear14 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:27:13

I have 2 disabled children, and a 15 month old. In a 2 bed. With letters from learning disability nurse and CAMHS etc to say they can't share. We have partitioned a room off so the boys have a bit of their own space and we have been down on a sofa bed since I was pregnant. We have been on a high band for serious overcrowding for 9 months and only just have been shortlisted for our first property this week. It's not easy! They would just tell you to get a sofa bed, the living room can be classed as a bedroom. It's not ideal but you have to suck it up unfortunately.

OddBoots Mon 31-Oct-16 19:28:44

Shelter have some overcrowding guidelines

It suggests that a living room counts as a room to sleep in, normally it is children over 10 of a different sex that require their own rooms but it may be different with disability but they may expect you and your boyfriend to sleep in the living room to give your new child a room.

jayne9444 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:29:19

I didn't even know that!

If boyfriend worked dayshift it wouldn't be as much as a problem baby sharing our room - but because he sleeps all day it is.

The only other option is to put baby in stepsons room while he's not at ours, but because he's disabled his room is adapted so again hasn't got much room.

jayne9444 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:33:05

Wow Mamabear14! That's crazy to me, icant even imagine.

I just wish we had money saved to try and get somewhere bigger, but it's never going to happen unfortunately.

I know I'm lucky to have a roof over my head, but now I'm even more stressed and worried about our living situation.

Stepson will be 10 by the time our baby is born, not far along yet to find out if baby is boy/girl but if it's a girl that might work in our advantage when older

mouldycheesefan Mon 31-Oct-16 19:35:10

Baby will be in your room till 6 months. We had ours in our room for a year due to building work in the house. Is there not room a for a cot in your bedroom? They generally sleep in Moses baskets for first couple months then cots.
Could be an issue if your partner needs to sleep in the house during the day and there is a crying baby or noisy toddler around.

It's your decision whether to proceed with the pregnancy or not but I do think that people who say they would never forgive themselves are being dramatic. Would you forgive someone else for terminating a pregnancy? Yes? But not yourself?

NerrSnerr Mon 31-Oct-16 19:38:21

For our daughter 's first 6 months she slept in our room at night and in the pram carry cot in the living room in the day (we used a travel cot when she got bigger). Your partner sleeping in the bedroom in the day shouldn't affect her daytime naps for at least 6 months.

Mamabear14 Mon 31-Oct-16 19:41:32

You'll have to use a travel cot in the living room during the day for naps. They are handy anyway for putting them in when you need the loo and stuff when they get a bit older anyway. We had our daughter in with us for a year downstairs. My 2 boys are both over 10, one is 10 and one is almost 12, and our daughter is over 1 and we still haven't moved. It is SO crowded in this house, but you get used to it. I will be so pleased if we get this house to buy an actual bed, something most take for granted that we haven't had for 18 months!

Nottalotta Tue 01-Nov-16 07:31:11

It's highly unlikely your stepson will be taken into account, it does happen but in very very exceptional circumstances. It depends on where you live, here we are less stretched than many but you would be waiting 12months in high band for a 2 bed. Less for a 3 bed. But, will you need a ground floor 3 bed?! Because we have a handful. And they don't come up very often.

I would phone your local council and ask them, will step son be taken into account, at what stage if any will you be overcrowded, how often do 3bed ground floor/accessible properties come up.

jayne9444 Tue 01-Nov-16 08:39:42

I'm just not understanding how the council don't count stepson as a person. It's joint custody, so I thought boyfriend would be entitled to have a bedroom for him.

Not sure what we're going to do long term, while baby is still young we will manage with travel cot etc.

Thank you for all the advice! Boyfriend comes in from work soon so will have a chat with him

ThatStewie Tue 01-Nov-16 08:48:47

Unfortunately, there is a huge shortage of council housing and many councils don't include children who have another primary residence in the numbers classed as 'over-crowded'. Here, parents are expected to sleep in the living room if they are in a 2 bed with 3 children. It is worth going in to speak to the council housing officers. You may not qualify for a 3 bed but a transfer to a 2 bed with larger bedrooms might be possible. Then it would be easier to get a cot in your bedroom.

jayne9444 Tue 01-Nov-16 08:52:59

Yeah, I'm going to have to ring them up! Think I already know the outcome though.

I'm going to ask how boyfriend got this flat too, because he wasn't living with stepsons mum when he went into this flat.. but he's been here 5 years maybe the shortage of houses or list wasn't as long then.

mouldycheesefan Tue 01-Nov-16 13:43:11

Even if they do count stepson as a person who needs their own bedroom, you still wouldn't be considered overcrowded with 2 adults and one baby in the other bedroom, plus a living room.

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