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First timer - 9w +6

(14 Posts)
Barnes79 Sat 29-Oct-16 14:21:39

Is anyone else finding the whole pregnancy thing extremely stressful? Every twinge makes me worry, every time I need the loo the first thing I do is check if I'm bleeding - I even find I go to the loo more often as a full bladder makes me have more twinges! I woke up in the middle of the night with stronger twinges than before and panicked so spent half an hour (at 3am) googling - I think/hope it was just trapped wind though (tmi?)

I didn't have any contact with a GP or midwife until the middle of my 9th week and found that time really hard - luckily (or madly) my sister has 4 children so was able to give me some support about what was to be expected as I found that no one tells you any of this stuff - it's all about how to conceive, not what to expect when you actually manage to do so.

It all doesn't feel real still and am even considering paying for a private scan so I don't have to wait another 3 weeks to check I'm actually pregnant and the baby is alive. I'm an older first time mum (37yrs old) and am so aware that they say once you hit 35 it's more likely to end badly.

Is anyone else having a similar experience or am I over-reacting?

catx1606 Sat 29-Oct-16 14:54:54

Hiya, I'm 38 and pregnant with my first. I have been constantly worried since I found out I was pregnant. I panicked when I had the odd day when I wasn't sick, when I had bad pain which did turn out to be trapped wind. All I can say is that I can totally understand where you're coming from, you are not alone. I even panicked that i would have my 12 week scan only to find that i was imagining things! What's your due date?

Barnes79 Sat 29-Oct-16 15:11:30

My due date is 28th May. I worried too when my nausea and back pain disappeared but the back pain is now back which is (very oddly) reassuring...

Chaseley Sat 29-Oct-16 15:25:26

Was and am exactly the same as you.
This is my first & im 16 weeks today....when I first found out at 4 weeks, I took 6 pregnancy tests because I didn't believe the first one.
Since then I had a private scan at 9 weeks because I couldn't wait until my dating scan, every time I go to the toilet, I do the same as you and check for blood.
I've even bought a Doppler so I can check the heartbeat when I need reassurance, especially after seeing my midwife on Thursday who told me she doesn't bother listening to the HB as she struggles!
I definitely recommend the Sonoline B Doppler from amazon!

ChicMomma Sat 29-Oct-16 15:26:39

First pregnancy is stressful I was very like you googling every little twinge and every time I went to the bathroom checking for blood, first Scan my mum paid for as I was so worried and she was probably sick of listening to me asking her Q's about every little thing and it was reassuring. Mum to a very happy and healthy little 1 year old now and currently pregnant wit DC#2 I have been suffering really bad with trapped wind it is really uncomfortable pain and feels like it is more so under my ribs. Wish u all the best in your pregnancy flowers

Streaky17 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:52:26

It is very stressful and affects everyone differently. You should come over to the May 2017 antenatal club.

We are stressing and reassuring each other about exactly the same things.

UnicornPee Sat 29-Oct-16 21:14:55

My first two pregnancies (12 and 9 years ago) I was very laid back.

Now I'm pregnant for a 3rd time and I don't know if it's coz I'm old (34) or because I had a miscarriage in May but I have not been able to enjoy it at all and I'm 20 weeks. I check for blood every time too. I haven't bought one thing as I'm terrified it 'jinxes' it and something bad happens sad

Squtternutbosch Sun 30-Oct-16 07:13:15

The first weeks are just stressful I'm afraid- there's not much you can do about it other than try to remember that, even at 37 (even at older than that!) the chances of everything being ok are much higher than not once you get past about 4-5 weeks and out of the chemical pregnancy window.

I remember the obsessive checking for blood- think it's quite normal. I had a bleed at about 6 weeks and was completely hysterical but turned out to be nothing untoward. I am 40 weeks tomorrow. The twinges and cramps and disappearing of symptoms and quietening of baby will happen all the way through, you just have to remember that it's all mostly normal.

If you're anxiety is really bad, and you can pay for a private scan, then go ahead and do so- the reassurance will be good for you. But I'd caution against buying a Doppler as pp have recommended. They're not widely thought of as a Good Thing for home use for a number of reasons.

Congratulations, and try to enjoy your pregnancy! 37 is not that old smile

Squtternutbosch Sun 30-Oct-16 07:14:09

Your* anxiety. Stupid autocorrect

SarahOoo Sun 30-Oct-16 09:56:13

I'm 16 weeks and check the toilet tissue each time too. A lot of the time I'm trying to work out if a pain down there is the pelvic groin pains I've been getting (in the V area of my lady bits), I need to do a big poop or something else! We've already had quite a journey too, getting pregnant was fine really, three months of trying but after all the sickness and feeling bloody horrible we had a CVS too due to increased risks of the Ts. All came back clear but over three weeks later and I'm still too nervous to DTD with my husband in case it affects anything! You just don't realise before how worrying it all is!

Desmondo2016 Sun 30-Oct-16 11:19:08

I'm 32 weeks (39 years old, 4th child) and still on total toilet watch despite being booted to bits all day long. Pregnancy anxiety and paranoia is hideous and made me actually quite ill in the earlier months.

louisesb1981 Sun 30-Oct-16 14:37:24

Streaky17 - where is the May 17 club?
Original poster - I think I'm due 28th May (no scan yet but know conception date) and having only found out on Friday, I now worry about every tweak and bit of trap wind! No symptoms at all at the mo, so still amazed that three tests have all returned positives! Hoping for an early scan as potentially could be 10 weeks gone already!! Good luck.

Difficultyear2015 Sun 30-Oct-16 15:15:09

I'm just the same. I actually don't know how far along I am yet as I have PCOS but based on my dates I'm anywhere between 9 - 14 weeks.

I only managed to see the midwife two days ago and will have to book a private dating scan as they say they will go off the date I had positive pregnancy test which was only 4 weeks ago, so I would be waiting a while.

I have such bad anxiety and stress. I have been referred to the midwifes who offer extra care.
I hope that's a good thing as I'm really struggling.
I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to see friends, I struggle to want to eat yet need to to stop me from feeling ill.
I am crying all the time and struggling at work and falling behind.

I had struggled for years to get pregnant and felt so lucky when I got my BFP, but that happiness turned quickly into anxiety a week later.

I'm really scared, and don't like saying my fears out loud because I feel so stupid at the same time.

This forum is the only place I have spoken freely about my past troubles and most people have been really supportive as you would expect and I hope that continues as it gives me the strength I need.

Difficultyear2015 Sun 30-Oct-16 15:19:31

Extreme levels of anxiety worry and being over emotional are all signs of antenatal depression which is a worry of mine as I've had friends suffer terribly with post barely depression.
I have history of depression and have been prescribed citalopram previously but I don't want to take anything during my pregnancy.

Sometimes I just feel like it's all in my head and I wish I could turn my thoughts off.

Right now I've had a severe headache that's lasted for nearly 3 days and bad cramping but no bleeding so midwife wasn't worried but it doesn't stop me being worried.
my thoughts are with anyone who is suffering like this. It can feel very lonely at times

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