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Early pregnancy after miscarriages - anyone else in the same boat?

(26 Posts)
jinglebellmel Fri 28-Oct-16 19:18:54

I'm nearly 6 weeks pregnant after 2 consecutive miscarriages in May and August and I'm finding it very difficult to rein in my anxiety and stop stress levels going crazy. Nearly every day I'm having a panic thinking it's happening again or already happened (first mc was missed) and it's just so draining! Anyone else suffering and able to sympathise or managing to do better than me and have any advice?

Helbelle75 Fri 28-Oct-16 19:29:53

I had a mmc in may and am now 16 weeks pregnant again. I tried to stay calm and not worry as I didn'the want to treat this baby any differently to my other. It was hard, but I tried to keep my emotions on an even keel for the sake of baby's health.
We went for an early scan at 10 weeks for reassurance and hearing that heartbeat was the best thing in the world. I'm sill very aware of what could go wrong but trying very hard to stay positive.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

MoonlightMojitos Fri 28-Oct-16 19:34:14

Hey; I remember you from the ttc threads briefly... congrats on your BFP! I had a mc in July at 7 weeks and a bfp last month and am in the same boat. I'm 8+1 today but for the first 7 and a bit weeks I panicked every day that it was going to happen again. Every time I went to the loo I'd be frightened to look in case there was any blood. Now I've got past the 'danger point' from last time I'm worried incase it's a mmc so now booked an early private scan for Monday. It's very sad that it's like this and all the joy and excitement is sucked out of pg after a mc but all we can do is take each day as it comes and hope for the best smile. Sorry I cant offer you any better advice than that! I tested at 9dpo which I will never do again as every day goes so slow when you're counting the days, let alone starting at only 3w+2!

How are you feeling generally? Are you planning on booking an early scan? You must be a June due date with me too?

Jaronior Fri 28-Oct-16 21:44:44

I had a mc in June so I completely get what you are all saying. I've literally just discovered we are pregnant again but it's kind of taken the joy out of it! I'm terrified. I am overanalysing everything and am convinced it won't work out. I'm 37 and this will be my 3rd, hoping this one sticks

StrawbRhi Sat 29-Oct-16 00:42:36

I know how you feel. I'm 8 weeks pregnant after 4 miscarriages (3 within the last 12 months) and I'm finding it hard to be optimistic. Although there is no reason to suspect that this one will end like the others, I can't help but remain on knicker watch 24/7! And google every symptom or loss of symptom etc.
We saw the heartbeat on Monday which has helped calm me and I'm undergoing CBT for my anxiety and that does help.

Have you contacted your EPU at all? Mine was really helpful, got me in for an early scan and bloodworks and talked me through any fears.

jinglebellmel Sat 29-Oct-16 18:32:40

Congratulations to you all! Sorry you're all feeling the same way (although it does help to know I'm not alone!). It really is shit and Totally takes the shine and excitement off pregnancy doesn't it.

Moonlight, yes I'll think I'll be June, although I've not allowed myself to work out due date or anything yet. I'm thinking I'll try to go for an early scan next weekend if I get that far. Mi'll be 7 weeks then so should be able to see how things are going. 1st mc was a blighted ovum and no signs until nearly 11 weeks so even the thought of a scan sends me into melt down now though sad best get it over with and no where I stand though I think. Hope all is well at your scan smile

Good luck jaronior, I hope this is the one for you, it's so hard to be positive isn't it?

Rhi, that's wonderful that you saw the heartbeat, must be such a relief for you. Def on knicker check here too, sometime make extra toilet checks just so I can have a look and have to keep pinching my nipples to check they are still slightly sore (pretty sure someone saw me in work!). Epu were okay when I had dealings with then previously, but you can't self refer, have to go and sit in A&E for hours to be referred. There a quite a few places near by which offer private scans so I'll probably go with one of those.

celizabe Tue 01-Nov-16 13:36:58

Hi Jinglebell,

I'm in the exact same boat, I've had two consecutive MC's - the first one was MMC at 14 weeks in July last year and then another at 6 weeks in August this year. I'm now pregnant again but only 5 weeks so far.

If anything I actually feel a little calmer about this one as if the same does happen again at least this time it will be investigated (3 in a row = gynae referral) so it won't be a complete waste. Obviously, I'm crossing all my fingers that it won't happen but I'm a lot less stressed knowing that I'm one step closer to hopefully having a baby to term, with the correct medical support. I'm hypothyroid too so I'm high-risk anyway.

More practically, with the 6 week MC in August - my HCG levels dropped dramatically so I've been taking a basic pregnancy test strip every day to watch the lines get darker in line with my hormones doing the right thing. I know this is rampant POASing but it's working at keeping me sane smile

Congratulations on your BFP and here's hoping for lucky number 3s!

jinglebellmel Wed 02-Nov-16 14:43:24

Congratulations Celi, hope this one goes well for you smile I've been poas crazy too. Not sure what tests you're using but a word of warning - at 6 weeks mine are now getting lighter, after some googling I read about the hook effect (which sounded like crap but I tried diluting the urine anyway, and sure enough, super dark lines again). Just incase you haven't heard of it as I had a major panic and was convinced it was all over!

I think having had a mmc makes the stress even worse for me, as I can't trust the fact that everything seems fine. I've booked in for a private scan on the weekend but just thinking about it makes me feel sick sad

Interesting that you're hypothyroid too, do you think that's played a part in the miscarriages so far or is it under control? Anyway, good luck hope things keep going well for you.

jinglebellmel Wed 02-Nov-16 16:31:27

Forgot to say Celi, i was diagnosed as hypothyroid just after finding out I was pregnant this time, have started medication but only a very low dose so far, so a bit concerned about that also!

Rubberduck2 Wed 02-Nov-16 16:48:53

I had 3 mc last year then an ectopic. Am 37 weeks on Friday.... pregnancy after miscarriage is very, very hard. You lose the innocence and joy of pregnancy and look upon everything as a worry. That said there are many many women who mc or have recurrent miscarriages who go on to have successful pregnancies.

As much as this sounds condescending it's true - you can do nothing to change the outcome - what will be will be. Someone said this to me and it hit home that even though I was stressing and worrying there was absolutely nothing I could do to change what the outcome would be. For me it was actually a massive help to get me through the first weeks as every time I was poas (is the line still fucking dark?!?) and stressing I tried to tell myself that I could do no more than try and chill out.

Easier said than done but being in a constant frazzle is tiring, emotionally draining and soul destroying so try and put no pressure on yourself.

I hope it works out for every single of you flowers

MoonlightMojitos Wed 02-Nov-16 18:33:04

Thanks for asking smile had scan on Monday and all was perfect, they also put me a few days ahead of where I thought at 9+1 so that a massive relief as I know the stats are really in our favour after 9 weeks. I've had my 12 week scan through now too for the 25th so that's my next goal, I think it helps to have little goals to check off after a mc before. I told my manager today and she was so happy for me (she knows about the mc as I needed time off) and it was the first time I really felt a bit excited instead of just nervous so that was nice. Hope everything is still going well for you, does it help you to see stats or no? I can give you a link I found really helpful that gives you stats day by day and I found it helped to see it reducing every day though I know for some people they might just focus on the number as a negative rather than positive. Let me know if you want a link smile. Fx for your scan x

jinglebellmel Wed 02-Nov-16 20:04:09

That's great news moonlight smile must have been a wonderful feeling!

Yes would like to look at the stats if you have them to hand? Although the last mc being missed has thrown my confidence in that sort of thing a little, but if the scan is okay on Saturday it might help my craziness!

Congratulations rubbersuck, not long to go now! Yes I totally agree with you, I just wish my brain would get on side and stop stressing a little. I think maybe it's a defence mechanism in a way, thinking the worst at every opportunity so that bad news won't be a shock (I know it still will be though so not the best tactic). Really positive to hear things are going well for you after such a shit year though.

MoonlightMojitos Wed 02-Nov-16 20:40:36

This is what I found reassuring after seeing heartbeat at early scan:

To estimate the risk of miscarriage among asymptomatic women after a prenatal visit: Those recruited were 697 asymptomatic women who attended their first antenatal visit between 6 (+2 days) and 11(+6 days) weeks of gestation, where evidence of fetal cardiac activity of a singleton was obtained by office ultrasonography. RESULTS: The risk of miscarriage among the entire cohort was 11 of 696 (1.6%). The risk fell rapidly with advancing gestation; 9.4% at 6 (completed) weeks of gestation, 4.2% at 7 weeks, 1.5% at 8 weeks, 0.5% at 9 weeks and 0.7% at 10 weeks.

This is the stats by day site
spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=08&d=10&y=12

I can see what you mean about it not necessarily helping after a mmc though sad so fx it reassures you after your scan. It's really crap to go through this. I always thought pregnancy would be all excitement and roses.

ChristmasSeacow Wed 02-Nov-16 20:54:39

Hi all, I am 5+3 having miscarried at 5+4 in July. Hoping that I will get through the next week and feel a bit more 'normal' about it confused.

Good luck everyone, hoping for good experiences all round x

celizabe Thu 03-Nov-16 09:32:10

Jinglebell, I'm not sure about the hypothyroid to be honest, as it hasn't been investigated - but given my levels are so affected by even the slightest change, I don't think it helps!

Wombletor Fri 04-Nov-16 16:02:46

Hello everyone

I'm 5+6 and I had my son last November with the help of meds after 6 MCs. I am hypothyroid, with antibodies, its Hashimotos, I also have coeliac disease so given my autoimmune issues, I'm taking steroids, blood thinners and progesterone.

I feel really lucky to fall pregnant again at 43, but I've had some brown spotting which has made me start to think the worst. I have an appt at EPU on Monday so hopefully I'll have an idea of which direction this is heading. Crossing my fingers and toes.

I hope you're all doing OK. I completely understand the stress of being pregnant after MC, it takes away all the joy.

celizabe Fri 04-Nov-16 16:13:24

Hi Womble & Jingle, funny we're all hypothyroid with history of MCs. Do you think yours is well managed by Dr's?

My DAFT stand in GP tried to tell me I didn't need a blood test for 3 months after a dose changed despite me saying I was asking for an increase of 25mg due to early pregnancy. I disabused him of that notion!! smile

Wombletor Fri 04-Nov-16 20:07:52

No not at all. Gps are notoriously lacking in knowledge in respect of thyroid levels in pregnancy. In my last pregnancy, my Dr was happy with thyroid bloods taken 6 months previously, so I paid for private blood tests monthly until I was 12 weeks then the endo at antenatal took over and monitored monthly until I was 12 weeks post partum.

This time I've increased my thyroxine by 25mcg every other day and I'll request a test at epu on monday. I'd rather be on the safe side.

The first 3 months are crucial xx

jinglebellmel Sat 05-Nov-16 19:21:52

Hi Christmas hope all is going well for you, good luck smile

Wombletor I hope your appointment goes well, brown spotting can be something or nothing (I realise that won't reassure you, but hope the epu can).

I was only diagnosed after finding out I was pregnant this time, and I don't feel it's been well managed unfortunately. They started me off on 25mg and I had to fight for that. They contacted me this week to say the specialist had contacted then to say I should have been on 50mg. Waiting for blood tests back on Monday to see what they'll do know - it's a nightmare, they don't seem clued up at all!

Had my early scan today and saw a heartbeat! Still v nervous with the thyroid issue but I was fully expecting it to be another blighted ovum so was massively relieved to see the heartbeat. Hope everyone is getting on okay.

celizabe Mon 07-Nov-16 06:17:01

Congratulations on your scan, hearing a heartbeat must be such a relief after everything you have been through!

I had to fight to be diagnosed as hypo even when I wasn't pregnant and then after first miscarriage, I went armed with the NICE guidelines in my hands and had a letter from the GP afterwards saying he had notified the whole practice that the treatment had changed. Doesn't look like it has from last week!!

Womble were you supervised by an endo and an obstetrician the last time? I know hypo is technically high risk and have wanted an endo specialist for ages, but thought it was just an obs consultant for preggers not endo too??

mynameisntLinda Mon 07-Nov-16 08:19:33

I'll join you on the bricking it sofa. Miscarried in July and just got my bfp today. It's gonna be a long few weeks confused

celizabe Mon 07-Nov-16 08:31:48

Congratulations on your BFP! Totally understand how you feel, but crossing my fingers for you that it all goes well x

jinglebellmel Mon 07-Nov-16 09:44:48

Congrats Linda smile and good luck with this one - the odds are very much in your favour.

Celizabe I've been refered to an endo apparently but no sign of any appointment. Did look at seeing one privately but even then it was a 5 week wait.

Scan was reassuring at the time, but I went back into panic mode almost immediately to be honest. Symptoms seem to have vanished yesterday and today, it's a bloody nightmare, don't think I'll ever stop stressing!

celizabe Mon 07-Nov-16 10:19:07

Morning Womble, what time is your scan today? I'm wandering the house, supposedly working from home and trying to stay away from coffee!!

I was considering a private endo too, but I looked into it and the GP is under no obligation to take the findings unless there's a referral so not any use for me, I'm afraid.

Honestly, I don't understand why there's such a reluctance to understand thyroid issues. I'm convinced mine is secondary hypothyroidism so it's actually a problem with my pituitary but I've no hope of convincing the doc of that one.

Hope your scan goes well x

jinglebellmel Mon 07-Nov-16 13:15:00

Yes hope today goes well womble, let us know.

I know Celizabe, I feel I understand it reasonably well after a bit of online research, can't understand how a Dr far more intelligent than me is do clueless over it?! Had my results back today tsh 4.5 and t4 15- so not ideal but improved. Up to 75 me now so hopefully that will help.

Hope everyone is doing okay and managing to stay vaguely sane!

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