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Men just DO NOT get it!

(8 Posts)
Stacestoke Thu 20-Oct-16 09:01:47

So I am 20 + 6 weeks today and have just got into work and my boss asked how I was. That sounds like a nice thing to ask but then he went on to say. Was the pregnancy was starting to affect me yet?

Is it just me or men just totally clueless to pregnancy and what it involves?! I politely replied that I felt fine but that pregnancy had affected me from the very beginning as it does for most women.

I didn't mention that I am in fact halfway through and that I have already endured the sickness, the debilitating nausea, my swollen boobs that became so sore I thought they might fall off, the bloating which made it impossible to wear non maternity clothes after about 9 weeks, the stretching and itching across my belly, the joint pain, the crying for no reason, and the fear of birth and that I am going to be a bad Mum when the little one arrives.

The man in question has 3 children of his own but openly declares that he hated them as babies and had no interest in them until they started school. His poor wife. I'm trying not to be annoyed but I really am! He has also ignored my maternity leave letter which I gave him 6 weeks ago, I have had no response whatsoever. Ugh, can't wait until I go on maternity leave.

Anyone else had experiences like this?

SoupDragon Thu 20-Oct-16 09:07:09

I think you are being way too over sensitive.

He was just being nice polite! To answer his nice enquiry with the comment about it having affected you right from beginning was really silly.

Of course the counterpoint to your scenario is "when are women going to realise that not everyone experiences pregnancy the same" because I wasn't affected by pregnancy right from beginning. Maybe his wife had easy early pregnancies too.

NewlySkinnyMe Thu 20-Oct-16 09:07:43

I am confused. He asked you how you was and then asked was the pregnancy going to afect you yet? Sounds to me like you have been doing a good job of pulling through the pregnancy and he obviously thinks you're one of those lucky people who breeze through it. He doesn't sound like he is being unkind.

I expect it is difficult for men to understand pregnancy, I am sure he was kind to his wife whilst she was pregnant. My bro, who is a fantastic and caring dad would say similar about babies - that he prefers them older and more fun. Doesn't make him unkind.

I think you're being a bit harsh, but pregnancy does that to you!

Chase him up about the letter.

GinIsIn Thu 20-Oct-16 09:10:41

I think you are over-thinking it, and he was just trying to be polite by asking how you are.

I work in a team of women, of whom I am the youngest and only one who doesn't yet have children, and I have the opposite - every 2 minutes someone is asking me how I'm feeling, or telling me to sit down, or dishing out advice. It makes it nearly impossible to get on with anything!

DoinItFine Thu 20-Oct-16 09:14:24

He is your boss, so I think his questioning was a bit inappropriate.

But of course men don't "get it".

Lots of women don't either.

Stacestoke Thu 20-Oct-16 09:35:17

You guys are probably right, I am over reacting. It doesn't help that unfortunately I don't like him in general - it's well known in the company that his managerial skills are completely missing and this winds me up.

I think maybe I just need a cup of tea and some chocolate! brew chocolate Thanks everyone!

haveacupoftea Thu 20-Oct-16 09:39:58

Yeah men do not get it. My DP thinks i'm too early to be feeling gross/hormonal/tired (i'm 8 weeks tomorrow). Although I think he is too scared to point out these thoughts now grin

Spam88 Thu 20-Oct-16 10:52:30

I'd agree men don't get it. While we were trying to conceive my DH asked me 'when does morning sickness happen, is it the day after conception?'. I like to think he's educated himself slightly more now.

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