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Wedding Dress Dilemma

(22 Posts)
user1476793521 Tue 18-Oct-16 13:35:04

Hi all! I wondered if I could get some friendly advice please smile
I have recently been told that it is going to be difficult to conceive due to medical reasons. I am 27 and getting married in 3 months time! The problem is have is that I really feel a massive urge to start trying now. If it's going to be difficult I feel like I can't waste any time and my other half feels the same.
My only problem is my wedding dress!!! Has anyone had a normal wedding dress altered to accommodate a baby bump! If I conceived this month (chances are slim but must be prepared anyway) I would be 15 weeks. Will I show much? my dress is quite fitted on the bodice and comes out at the waist but it's already needing to be altered slightly bigger (it's a sample) and I'm concerned that it won't be possible! It's silly really worrying about this, a baby is so much more important but at the same time when I have spent £1500 on a wedding dress I want to be able to wear it! (Can't afford another!!!)
My options are wait a month and then try or wait until after the wedding but you know when you get that news is so hard to sit tight and put it off for any longer sad
Any advise would be so helpful xxx

SeashellHoarder Tue 18-Oct-16 14:06:52

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Everyone's experience of size in the first 12 weeks is different - having said that most people don't start to show until 12 weeks or later with a first baby.

I would go for a compromise and start trying in a month.

Good luck x

Modestandatinybitsexy Tue 18-Oct-16 14:07:29

Congratulations on your wedding!

However, I think you're stressing about this prematurely. I had difficulties conceiving and it took over two years.

I agree that not putting the rest of your life on hold is a good idea. It will mean NHS could help you sooner (they won't look at you until you've been trying two years if your under 40).

Is there any chance you could add some extra room from the waist of the dress without it being too affected?

I'm currently 8 weeks and haven't noticed any change so far. Changes can affect people differently though so there's no guarantee.

Good luck with both the wedding and whatever you decide flowers

FraterculaArctica Tue 18-Oct-16 14:10:40

I got married at 17 weeks. My dress had to be adjusted to have a lace up rather than button back, that gave enough expansion room. I didn't have a bump at the wedding, most people who didn't know I was pregnant didn't work it out. Those who did worked it out from larger breasts rather than any obvious bump. My dress was ruched across the bodice though which was quite concealing and flattering.

DogOnALeash Tue 18-Oct-16 14:10:50

Hi, how does your dress do up? A lace up corset would help you a lot as you could buy a bigger back panel (£50 max) and have more of a laced look? This could buy you a good few inches. If it's not corset backed you can get it converted!
With alterations you should generally only go up 2 sizes as you don't really have the material to go any further, if you're already getting it sized up this could be tricky to go any further.

You might not even start showing at 15 weeks, each woman carries their baby differently and with your first pregnancy you're less likely to show quickly. Although saying that I'm 8+2 and jeans are getting tough to button blush damn you bloating!

personally I would wait an extra month, it's really not that long and when you are stressing about the wedding organisation you really don't want to be going through your first trimester. The last 4 weeks before your wedding are so very stressful and when you think about it, waiting that little bit longer won't do you any harm smile

Wish you the best of luck with ttc and your wedding flowers xx

PotteringAlong Tue 18-Oct-16 14:12:15

If you're getting married in 3 months time and haven't even started ttc yet then even if you get married tomorrow you won't have any kind of bump 11 weeks in.

EllieM22 Tue 18-Oct-16 14:13:04

I am fairly slim and didnt have a hint of a bump until 18/20 weeks. Even now at 36 weeks i'm not huge!

Bump wont be an issue but morning sickness might be. I was off work on and off for weeks from 6-16 weeks with awful morning sickness and i couldn't leave the house let alone get married!

I completely get why you want to start now but wanted to warn you of the risk! Maybe start tracking your cycle now and getting used to your body and fertile window in preparation? We were trying but decided to skip one month because 9 months later we both had important qualifying exams. Ended up pregnant from that month anyway somehow!

FraterculaArctica Tue 18-Oct-16 14:13:09

I would be more concerned about sickness than changes in dress size though - I felt fine from 13 weeks on but getting married at 8-9 weeks would have been miserable! No way to know in advance whether you'll be affected though, or how severely.

user1476793521 Tue 18-Oct-16 14:42:27

Ahhh thank you everyone. Such good advice! I am seeing my seamstress next weekend and I think I'll just be open and see if it's do-able to put a lace up back in etc
The chances I know are so so slim that I will conceive this month! Just want to try cover all bases! 😊
I am edging towards waiting a month though, an 11 week bump may be easier to deal with dress wise!
Oh isn't it so hard when you literally cannot predict anything to do with pregnancy and how you'll feel/look!! It's not something we even thought we had to worry about until after the wedding... xxx

LHReturns Tue 18-Oct-16 17:43:12

EllieM is on same page as me!

Dress wouldn't worry me, but severe Hyperemesis from week 6 - 16 with my son, and again now from 5.5 weeks with new pregnancy (still only 8 damn weeks) - there is NOTHING I want to do less in my first trimester than get married!

Your risk tho - I am one of the unlucky ones with the severe sickness.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding tho!

ParForTheCourses Tue 18-Oct-16 17:46:37

My dress would have hung off me because I had such bad morning sickness though not to the extent LHReturns had. Like LHReturns it would put me off anything.

airingcupboard Tue 18-Oct-16 17:49:09

I'd be more concerned about getting married feeling like crap. Unremitting nausea is awful. I would start trying after, or just a couple of weeks before. Time is on your side and 3m is nothing.

Lovewatchingrainfall Tue 18-Oct-16 17:49:51

I got married when I was 18weeks pregnant yes I had a bump but I had a lace up back which helped to hid it and no one could tell I was pregnant till the next morning when I came downstairs in my normal clothes showing off my bump. BTW no one knew I was pregnant it was a surprise to them all. Good luck and congratulations.

ParForTheCourses Tue 18-Oct-16 18:25:23

You could start taking folic acid and vitamin d now though to build yourself up.

Handluggageonly Tue 18-Oct-16 18:32:26

Wore same wedding dress for official ceremony before conceiving and then at 10 weeks pg for official party much later on. Got into it, it was quite giving fabric wise, no sign of baby bump BUT did have general bloating/water retention all over, bigger boobs, struggled to zip up upper back more than anything... Felt fine in myself though. Good luck!

MrsGsnow18 Tue 18-Oct-16 18:47:11

Congratulations on your wedding!

I have to agree with others who have mentioned sickness! Mine is not just in the morning! I don't feel I look my best either at the moment not because of any weight gain but I just look pale, tired and generally a bit run down ( because i'be been sick so much) Your wedding day is so exciting that I wouldn't want to risk feeling sick.
Def start taking a prenatal vitamin now, then in maybe two months start trying. No one knows how long it will take them TTC, there is so much great advice on the TTC boards on MN though so I would def recommend!

user1476793521 Tue 18-Oct-16 19:21:43

Ahhh thanks ladies smile
I hadn't properly considered how feeling like crap would affect me, my dress luckily is quite roomy on my boobs so that wouldn't be such a problem but a growing waistline would... I think I will hold off until maybe December time to try smile it's all very overwhelming and a wedding thrown into the mix isn't ideal! X

happydays00 Tue 18-Oct-16 19:42:09

OP I would definitely recommend waiting! I didn't really start to show until 16 weeks but was bloated and uncomfortable from 6 weeks. I had to unbutton my jeans and it was definitely bloat and not baby bump!

Also - the first trimester is hard for almost everyone: a combination of extreme tiredness, changes to skin/hair and nails, mood swings and nausea. If you were to conceive straight away and get any/all of these I doubt you'd be able to fully enjoy the run up to your wedding.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do smileflowers

elliej83 Tue 18-Oct-16 20:23:06

Congratulations I wouldnt worry about your dress. I was 26 weeks when we got pregnant it was a bit of a surprise but the dress wasnlet out slightly and was fine. No major reconstruction needed!

catx1606 Thu 20-Oct-16 18:44:53

I doubt having a bump would be an issue for you but the sickness and tiredness could cause problems. My clothes started to get tight at around 10 weeks but the sickness started at about 4 weeks and went on until 14 weeks. The tiredness is another thing. I was shattered during the first 12 weeks and constantly needed a wee! Maybe wait until after the wedding and then start trying then. Until then, start taking foil acid and tracking your periods in a way of getting ready to start trying. Keeping a diary for when you are due on helps enormously when you are wandering if you are late or not.

Congratulations on the wedding! smile

eurochick Thu 20-Oct-16 18:53:27

I would wait, and I say that as someone who had difficulties conceiving. At 27, 3 months is really nothing.

At 15 weeks I didn't look normal or have a proper baby bump. I just looked chunky. My nausea had only just stopped (at around 14 weeks). Until then from about 5pm each night I only wanted to lay on the sofa groaning and trying not to move. I definitely wouldn't have wanted to have my wedding then. I also enjoyed drinking the champagne that we had shelled out for at my own wedding. grin

TheCraicDealer Thu 20-Oct-16 19:07:56

I'd wait. Have you ever been in a bridal party? It's stressful, hot, people are flapping about, you're pissed off because someone keeps trying to make you eat when you're nervous AF- throw morning sickness into the mix and suddenly you're in the seventh circle of hell. As well if you do get lucky in the next three months (and know about it on the day) you won't be drinking and that'll raise a lot of questions if you drink normally. Would you be happy having people know/ask that early?

As well, this is a very happy but very stressful time already. If it were me I would try to enjoy the wedding it without introducing another emotive aspect into it- the stress can make something you'd normally be pretty chill about into the biggest disaster ever. If you start trying and it's not happening (even though logically you know it's early doors), I think it might taint the here and now when you should be trying to enjoy it as best you can.

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