Gender

[shanlouise95]

hello everyone!

I am 16 weeks and having my gender scan tomorrow.. This is my first child! I have been convinced it's a girl the whole way through my pregnancy.. Some think boy others think girl!

But im so convinced that i think i may be disappointed if it is a boy... Does anyone have any advice on this? Im worried it will show on my face at the scan tomorrow! Especially cause my partners side of the family is all boys so major pressure to produce the first girl!

[mrschatty]

Hi op didn't want to read and run. I've had no experience of this myself as I never found out my babies sex before birth but gender dissapointment has been discussed before hopefully someone will be around soon to give some ideas

[Whatsername17]

I think you might find seeing a healthy baby wriggling around trumps everything else. I have a 5 yo dd and lost a baby at 3 pregnant in January. I'm now 25 weeks with my third and I'm having another girl. It's my last baby so I'm not going to have a boy now. I couldn't care less that I won't have one of each. I wondered if I would, I thought this baby was a boy for ages, but I was over the moon when they said girl. Good luck with your scan.

[Whatsername17]

3 months pregnant ^

[MoggyP]

They might be able to tell the sex, and will be able to see if there are any gross anomalies, but the 20 week scan is more reliable for both.

No scan can tell you about your DC's gender.

[Scarydinosaurs]

Boy or girl it means very little- especially when they're so small. I have two DDs and would love a boy next just to have the experience of both- however, nothing matters more than a healthy baby. Hoping for more than that is projecting ideas (that can never be relied upon anyway) onto a little tiny baby who doesn't even understand the words boy or girl yet.

Good luck at the scan- no matter what sex you have, you'll be madly in love with them regardless.

[GladAllOver]

It's a sex scan. Not a gender scan - there is no such thing.

[SorenaJ]

You can't find out your child's gender, you can find out the sex.

[Kittenrush]

I knew mine was a girl from day one. I never ever thought I would be one of those people that thought they knew but I really did. I was right but after losing my first at 3 months I didn't care what she was. I totally agree that seeing that tiny wriggly alien trumps everything :) I'm sure you won't feel a shred of disappointment. Each sex has its pros and cons but healthy, happy children is all that matters xx

[LolaStarr]

I have a little boy who is 3, and I lost a little boy at 21 weeks last year. When I got pregnant again this time I thought it would be nice to have another boy, and I was worried I'd be disappointed if they said it was a girl. I found out at 16 weeks she is in fact a girl, and I honestly couldn't have cared less, she's healthy and that's all that matters

[Alb1]

I wondered this in both previous pregnancys but can honestly say I was just happy when I saw the babies hearts beating healthily in the scans, I'm sure any dissapointment won't last long, but I think many women do feel that way.

The sex/gender thing always gets me too, my local scan place calls it a gender scan so I always end up saying gender rather than sex!

[shanlouise95]

Can i just say the people who are saying 'its a sex scan not a gender' does it really matter what i call it? Clearly people know what i am refering to therefore your comments are not needed.
The private scan is actually named 'GenderAssure' so forgive me for calling it a gender scan like many people do. But I was asking advice on disappointment not asking your opinion on gender or sex thank you :)


Thanks for all the comments everyone! I was just wondering if anyone else has been through anything similar... I feel guilty for feeling like this but read other forums and many others feel the same to! Hoping once i find out i can come round to the idea no matter the gender :)

[Kittenrush]

Don't forget that adding another boy to the family isn't a bad thing!! You'll have a little gang of boys that'll probably be really close, it'll be nice :) don't let the pressure of having the first girl get you down!! I think it's pretty normal to prefer one or the other but I promise you won't mind once you know :)

[shanlouise95]

Yeah i know! I personally have always pictured myself with a little girl, so i think it is going to be a boy just because i really want a girl haha!

But yeah, im sure i will be fine! And i will know by 12 tomorrow so the anticipation will be over and i can get excited either way

[beepbeeprichie]

I was convinced I was having a boy. When we went for the scan I was told it was a girl and I struggled to not cry in the hospital. Looking back, I have no idea what I was thinking because she is the most perfect, wonderful thing in my life and I couldn't imagine why I got so upset!! I blame hormones

[Dixiechick17]

I thought boy all the way up to the day of the private scan, wanted a boy as we were a family of girls, when we were told girl I was so happy, and cried happy tears, any worry about disappointment went out of the window.

[Oysterbabe]

Good luck!
We have a DD and only planning to have 2. The pressure to produce a boy next time will be high but I'm sure we'll be delighted either way!

[LittleLionMansMummy]

It's not a sex or a gender scan, it's an anomaly scan, since that is the primary objective. Most mums are just relieved to see that everything looks fine. I'm 34 weeks and have no idea what I'm having, but I was relieved to know the baby appeared to be developing normally.

I didn't find out last time but when ds was born i thought 'wtf am I going to do with a boy? I know nothing about baby boys, nor have I met a male child that I like'. It sounds awful now and of course I kept my thoughts to myself. I totally fell in love with him just the same of course and now realise how silly I was. And it goes without saying that he's the most amazing 5yo boy I've ever known

[LolaStarr]

Little read the thread. It's not an anomaly scan the OP is having, it's a private sexing scan.

[carmenta]

The best way to deal with the disappointment of wanting one sex of baby and getting the other sex of baby is to stop caring. It doesn't matter, honestly, if you have a boy or a girl. It matters that they are a new little person that you're bringing into the world, with their own personality and needs. What's between their legs is so irrelevant, and the obsession with it is weird.

[INeedNewShoes]

Why do people have to be so nitpicky! All these comments on what to call the scan.

My hunch is that any disappointment will fade quite quickly.

I'm pregnant. I'll probably only ever have one child. If I'm honest, I do wonder about gender disappointment but having had a miscarriage at 11 weeks earlier this year I'm pretty sure that the relief at having a healthy baby will completely eclipse any thoughts of gender.

[PoldarksBreeches]

IMO the best way not to have disappointment in the sex of your baby is not to find out until it's born.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Missed the op's second post Lola don't shoot me. I'd seen the responses on 'sex/ gender' which I regularly see on mn and got a bit grumpy. Regardless it doesn't change what I've said which is not dissimilar to your response. I.e. seeing your baby, whatever their sex, developing healthily is the most amazing thing. I understand what it's like to want or expect one thing and get something else entirely but wanted to reiterate what others have said - it'll all be fine, either way.

[instantly]

Ha! I clicked on this yesterday when it had no comments and thought "the sanctimonious twats will be out soon to tell the OP it's "sex" not "gender""

And I was right!

Go me.

[Pluto30]

I second that the best way to avoid gender disappointment is to not find out the sex until birth...

[HumphreyCobblers]

I disagree that the best way to avoid disappointment in the sex of your baby is to wait - I think exactly the opposite. You can get ready for what sex you are having!

And I also think being accurate about language does not make you a sanctimonious twat.