Pregnant and alone

[ElleG91]

Hi everyone,

I'm really scared and alone and I've no one to turn to. I'm 24, I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I'm on my own. My ex doesn't want to be a part of our lives, I have no friends or family around to turn to (well I have my dad that I see sometimes but literally that's it, my mum lives 500 miles away and I text her now and then). I have no job, no savings. The only friend I have is my dog and I my ex is going to take him from me too. Just to hurt me and because he can ...(cos he bought him).

I just don't know how I'm going to cope. I'm going to have no birth partner and will have to attend all appointments and classss alone, which doesn't bother me really, I've always been a bit of a loner so I'm used to being myself, (I'm an only child/grandchild/niece). But how the fudge I'm I going to cope when the baby comes. I'm really scared. I don't want to fail as a parent, I want to do my son proud. But I'm so alone and scared. I know nothing about babies which makes it worse, I've never babysitted any kids or changed a single nappy. I can't stop crying and I'm just constantly depressed. I was diagnosed with clinical depression When I was 17 and it certainly doesn't go away or get easier.

Who can I turn to? Even just to talk to someone? I'm trying to pick myself up but I just can't, it's so hard when there is no one at all. I don't want to have to tell my parents I'm now on my own, I will feel like such a stupid failure. I keep hoping my ex will change is mind and come back but he says he doesn't love me enough anymore. It wasn't exactly the healthiest of relationships anyway; we are probably better off with out him. I just don't know what to do. I'm sorry to anyone who read this for rambling I'm just so lost and confused

[MissClarke86]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

Without sounding harsh- I think you need to give yourself a kick up the bum to do what you can to improve your situation.

Is there a medical reason you're not working? Work equals money and social interaction which would massively help, plus it makes you feel like your day is worthwhile.

Could you look for any local antenatal groups? I am not in your position but have spent today looking at a few groups, pregnancy yoga etc to try and meet other pregnant women. I'm a bit socially awkward so that's quite a big thing for me, but it does cost which will be an issue if you have no job.

I think you need to take small steps to improve your situation if you can. Think practically. What can you change that will improve your life?

[shartsi]

Given that you have no job to keep you where you are, I think you should consider moving closer to your mum.

[bubblegum23]

Move closer to your mum if that's an option, you'll be grateful for the help when bubba is here, really sorry you're feeling so alone op I don't think you would sound silly speaking about this to your parents, I'm sure they'd want to help, please speak to your mum because what you're feeling will only get more intense when bubba arrives

[ElleG91]

I did live down there for 6 months once and it was horrible for me, I just wanted to be home as soon as I got there. I live in Glasgow and my mums in Torquay; I just didn't like living somewhere so small and being around people who don't have a clue what you are saying lol.

[Ooosahh]

Now then, sorry to hear you feel the way you do but YOU WILL BE FINE xx

Like others have said, try new things to improve your situation so you feel less alone. Have you looked for antenatal classes on the internet? Talk to your midwife and/or doctor and ask for their support and suggestions. Also tell them about your feelings and feeling down and see what they suggest.

You could apply for an nct essentials course near you? Way if meeting up with other mums. There will be so many single mums out there in a similar situation surely, it just might take a bit of research.

Tell your mum you need her, she may surprise you with her response!

[Ooosahh]

Oh and see your dad more! Tell him you need him right now xx