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Hear me out on this one....

(174 Posts)
DoubleCarrick Thu 06-Oct-16 11:02:23

Ok, so I think I have a crazy idea.

I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and so far have hated pregnancy. I had a MMC last year which was traumatic and for the first trimester of this pregnancy was tense and nervous. I suffered awfully from sickness and nausea (although not bad enough for anyone to actually be worried), aces and pains, migraines and fatigue.

The nausea and sickness has carried on and started to subside at about 24 weeks. Lack of food has meant that I've lost weight and have generally looked like shit (face looking gaunt, dark circles around my eyes).

I suffered with some pelvic pain from about 10 weeks and by 14 weeks could hardly walk around the supermarket (my chiro has massively helped with this).

So all of these things seem to be resolving and now a couple of my ribs are almost permanently painful. I'm getting agitated and irritable and it's just making me want to cry. It's waking me up in the night and I'm just so tired and frustrated.

Ok, so I think mostly that's everything. On to my thoughts...

I've been doing some reading on hypnobirthing and the book I'm reading talks about the power of positive thinking. I spoke to DH about it last night and he said that he feels I have been focusing on the negative parts. He agreed that I've not been having a great time so I know it's not all completely in my head.

This is my plan...

Does anyone want to join me on a true positive thread? Things are shit, uncomfortable and worrying, yes. However, the idea is that the more you think of the positive things, the easier things feel and potentially the better things might go (obviously this is putting medical complications aside).

I'm going to fake it until I make it. I'm going to stop the whinging about all of the hard things and if anyone asks me how I'm feeling, I'll tell them something good. I'm going to ignore the breathlessness (tested and shown to be normal) and I'm going to go for a swim/a walk to try to strengthen my lungs. I'm going to ignore any worries and anxiety and just talk about how I'm looking forward to my baby coming and think about the preparations.

This thread is going to be my little positivity haven with not a single complaint in sight.

Maybe I'm mad? It can't hurt to try.

Would anyone like to join me with some relentless positivity?

Ratbagratty Thu 06-Oct-16 11:04:27

Good luck and think of all the cuddles you will be getting!

Rubberduck2 Thu 06-Oct-16 11:17:29

I'm in. 33 weeks tomorrow and I have done nothing but moan and groan through out this pregnancy.

Cailler Thu 06-Oct-16 11:22:15

I'm in! I love the theory of this and after a pretty terrifying anti-natal class at the weekend I could do with focusing on the positives again.

Today I am loving the kicks and the smiles I get off of strangers when they see my growing bump!

carrotcakecupcake Thu 06-Oct-16 11:27:27

I was really skeptical of hypnobirthing when someone gave me a book during my first pregnancy, however something from what I read stuck and I really tried to focus on how I was going to have a straightforward birth - and I did! I am now 17 weeks into my second pregnancy and, like you, have been feeling really bleugh about it all. There are definitely some women who flourish when pregnant, and the rest of us who just manage and get on with it. I guess what I'm getting at it that you are totally right to change your frame of mind - it can really work to visualise and think positively, as airy-fairy as that sounds.
And remember, pregnancy is only for a really short period of time in the grand scheme of things which is completely useless advice which you will also receive when your DC isn't sleeping and you are going slightly mad through exhaustion

hopeful31yrs Thu 06-Oct-16 16:20:33

IVF pregnancy here and it's been awful. I should just be ticking the days off and saying "yes I've made it one more day closer" but we've dealt with 2 weeks of bleeding heavily and then had a raised NT straight after this which lead to weeks of uncertainty, I don't carry well and so have not enjoyed much of the pregnancy and now I'm bedbound again with suspected premature labour at 34+3.

It's ok to feel rubbish even though the pregnancy is wanted. I've never worried so much in my life but it reassures me I care! At one point I told my husband I wouldn't ever try again if this didn't turn out well and I didn't think I'd bond but we're getting there!!!! Weirdly the positivity will come through xxxx

DoubleCarrick Thu 06-Oct-16 17:32:32

So lovely to hear that some people are in smile it'll be nice to have company.

Dh unexpectedly came home from work early today so we went shopping for bedding for the nursery. Not sure why but the only thing I actually really care about it having the cot set up and looking beautiful. I'm not even bothered that baby won't be in it for six months or so! Dh is surprisingly really wanting Winnie the pooh stuff - dun elm have a nice set which we will probably order online.

Someone today asking me how long it was until I was due. First time ever that someone has realised that I'm pregnant without me saying anything. It was lovely. I'm carrying quite small and even though I'm 27 weeks Saturday it's not massively obvious that I'm pregnant

SeashellHoarder Thu 06-Oct-16 17:53:43

I'm in!
I'm facing a csec when I really wanted a natural birth, but on the plus side there's no chance of tearing or injuries like with dd1.

Whatsername17 Thu 06-Oct-16 18:24:23

I'll be positive with you! You know my story but I'm really trying to push out the negative and be positive. Dh is struggling but is trying. Decorating the nursery next week!

ParForTheCourses Thu 06-Oct-16 18:52:16

I'm in. Pregnancy isn't what I'd consider fun. Took ages to get here too with much heartache so some positively would be nice.

1sttimemama1986 Thu 06-Oct-16 19:08:23

I have a LO 17 weeks but hypnobirthing techniques really helped through my pregnancy and labour. I truly believe it was the breathing techniques I practiced in pregnancy, learnt from hypnobirthing book that got me through it. Only used gas and air! And coped really well considering. My partner said I was in a zone, I had some mantra's- positive thoughts/saying I repeated in my head ( and out loud) during the labour and birth and I swear down I talked myself into thinking I could do it, and I really could!

Mantra's included with every contraction I am closer to meeting my baby, I can breath my baby down, things like this. I had about 5 I'd say on loop.

I turned to hypnobirthing after a friend gave me a book as so scared about labour and generally anxious during the pregnancy.

I think you are definitely in the right path!! You can and will get through it. And have a beautiful bundle at the end. Xx

twinmamma2b Thu 06-Oct-16 19:08:34

I'll be positive too! After a day spent in obstetric assessment unit, I'm needing some PMA! X

SaltedCaramelEverything Thu 06-Oct-16 19:21:32

I'm only 8 weeks but can I join?

I'd also like to learn more about hypno birthing and think positive thinking is worth a try! Have you done any mindfulness? I'd like to research that more to focus on present moments and enjoy pregnancy without feeling like life is rushing by (but I'm such a hypocrite - currently wishing my 12 week scan would hurry up! Then I'll slow down I promise)

Macauley Thu 06-Oct-16 20:06:06

I've started a Yoga class and whilst not hypnobirthing the breathing exercise and gentle stretching has made me feel much more positive.

In my new positive thinking I'm now letting myself think more about the birth and what I want. I also find buying things for baby makes me feel better but that's no good for my bank balance grin

DoubleCarrick Thu 06-Oct-16 20:55:34

All of this positivity is making me smile so much grin I've really been enjoying the pregnancy yoga too. It's funny - we do pelvic floor exercises every week. It's the only place where you can be in a room full of people and be told to "draw your vagina up and in"...."draw your back passage up and in as if you're trying not to break wind"....etc. I never knew there were three types of pelvic floor - front, middle, back. Makes sense when you think about it though.

whatser I'm hoping to have some updated pictures very soon of the nursery we're doing! Furniture has been put up - DH has lots of grand plans of modifying it and painting it, etc.

seashell the positive is that they've taken the decision to keep your baby safe and well and as it's potentially been decided you can spend time getting your head around it so you know what you might expect. A friend of mine had an ELCS. She said it was such a lovely, calm way to have her baby. She loved it.

Macauley know the feeling on the finances! We have a dog with bad back legs so have forked out on loads of rugs for the house to help him with his walking on the laminate so are spreading our finances as far as possible!

Macauley Thu 06-Oct-16 21:03:30

I have to try not to laugh at the pelvic floor exercise of drawing your vagina up like a draw string bag! Haha

DoubleCarrick Thu 06-Oct-16 21:23:21

I've not heard that one before! It's the only place you can do it with a group full of women without it being weird!

DoubleCarrick Thu 06-Oct-16 21:23:23

I've not heard that one before! It's the only place you can do it with a group full of women without it being weird!

DoubleCarrick Fri 07-Oct-16 15:32:40

A little bit of positivity for my day.

My brother unexpectedly came over today and I accidentally told him the name we picked for our boy. He named his next door neighbours kid who has the same name so I couldn't not!! It was so lovely showing him the cot and talking about when baby comes.

I didn't sleep great last night but have had a light work day today so it hasn't been too bad and coming downstairs for a cup of tea and a snack at 3am was so nice and peaceful. Even the dog came up on the sofa for a cuddle

DoubleCarrick Fri 07-Oct-16 15:32:44

A little bit of positivity for my day.

My brother unexpectedly came over today and I accidentally told him the name we picked for our boy. He named his next door neighbours kid who has the same name so I couldn't not!! It was so lovely showing him the cot and talking about when baby comes.

I didn't sleep great last night but have had a light work day today so it hasn't been too bad and coming downstairs for a cup of tea and a snack at 3am was so nice and peaceful. Even the dog came up on the sofa for a cuddle

Rubberduck2 Fri 07-Oct-16 17:22:24

carrick mid - night dog cuddles sound ace.

Today I have managed to turn my head round from an anxious start to a "normal" place which is a pretty big deal for me. I find that when I wake up feeling like that I tend to wallow in it and make myself worse so pleased I was able to turn it around!! I am now looking forward to the weekend!!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend flowers

Macauley Fri 07-Oct-16 19:26:00

Aww talking about baby names and looking at the babies things always makes me feel happy!

I'm going furniture shopping this weekend for baby which I'm excited about. Also got a large bar of dairy milk to eat tonight grin

DoubleCarrick Fri 07-Oct-16 19:47:25

rubber that sounds like an amazing achievement!! How did you manage to have such a good day? What plans for the weekend have you got?

I'm going into town with my cousin tomorrow and hoping Nandos won't be too busy.

Baby furniture shopping is so lovely! I'm definitely into looking at the bedding at the moment though! It's my obsession! And Mum has even offered to buy some of it for me for Christmas! I just need to try to wait that long!!

We're off out soon for a drink and some pudding tonight so that should be good

Macauley Fri 07-Oct-16 20:14:33

I don't have any bedding yet but do seem to be collecting a lot of clothes!

ParForTheCourses Fri 07-Oct-16 20:36:15

Dh brought chocolate home, I ate an entire bar grin

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