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Is 38 too old to have a 3rd Child?

(14 Posts)
user1475665394 Wed 05-Oct-16 12:21:44

I'm 38 and just found out I'm Pregnant with my 3rd Child. My others will be 9 & 12 when this one is due. I'm just not 100% sure that this is what I want. I have a list as long as my arm of negative things and my husband is 100% sure he doesn't want another, he does however say he will be fine if I choose to keep, but its not what he really wants. I guess I'm fit and healthy, not like I was when I was 26, but then who is!!. Some people say that a baby will keep you younger, but I just wondered if anyone can relate to this? I'm so confused over what to do, I'm really worried if I do decide to terminate I may regret it the rest of my life.

BagelDog Wed 05-Oct-16 12:27:00

Have just had number three at 38, he is almost ten months now, had a planned section after two unplanned ones, lots of running about, dog walks, Pilates, and I am feeling fab! Think the sleep hit me harder but partly as my middle child gets up very early at the moment. For us number three slotted in really easily, and this has been my easiest recovery yet. Planning number 4 (defo the last one...) next year at 40!

thecatsclinkers Wed 05-Oct-16 12:28:21

i had my first at 38!

Veggiesupremeextracheese Wed 05-Oct-16 12:29:05

I'm planning my next for 39! smile

FoofFighter Wed 05-Oct-16 12:30:59

I don't think age comes into this tbh, it's only one tick on your cons list after all. And you say that is pretty long.

FWIW I had my 3rd at 40 - after first at 18 and 2nd at 21 - so rather a large gap! I'm more tired but that's more to do with other things going on rather than my age.

Can you get yourself some counselling before you decide what to do?

gizmo79 Wed 05-Oct-16 12:32:32

Il be 38 when I have this one. Have a 3 year old and a 10 year old, and I'm not going to lie- I am exhausted. I work full time plus normally 12 hours OT each week and at currently 5 months pregnant am seriously doubting my sanity!
However, I know it will be okay, it has to be really doesn't it.
I don't think it is about the age as such, but I do wish I had some help. My DH is very good, but we have no family who help, and it is just the constant daily grind that is tiring.

Sorry- not that helpful!!

PutDownThatLaptop Wed 05-Oct-16 12:35:29

I had my third at 36 when the older two were 13 and 9 years old. It's been amazing!

totallyrandom Wed 05-Oct-16 12:37:49

I am 37 in couple of months and pregnant with my 4th (just entering 3rd trimester). My eldest is 8 and things were just getting easy (youngest coming up to 3). I also have my doubts and am worried about how I am going to cope. The elder children have so many activities etc and I worry about not giving them enough attention, because they are at the age where I actually really enjoy them and I want to make the most of these years. Having said that, I think they will be great older siblings and so far, touch wood, this pregnancy has been the easiest of the lot. I think that is just luck of the draw and nothing to do with age. 38 is definitely not too old to have a baby. Plenty of my friends are just starting out. I think if you have two older children, the baby will just have to fit in with their schedule somehow. What gave me comfort too is that there are big age gaps in my mother and mother in law's family between eldest and youngest and they actually get on really well in adulthood. We also think ahead of nice family Christmases and when the elder children have left, it can be really nice to still have a little one at home. But of course, it can change retirement plans etc. - although at 38 you are still young, as you will be only 56 once this one is 18. Definitely don't feel guilty either way, whatever decision you make. It sounds like your husband will be supportive either way. Good luck!

MarklahMarklah Wed 05-Oct-16 12:38:53

I'm not much help as I had my first (and only) at 42 1/2

Ginslinger Wed 05-Oct-16 12:49:17

I had DC3 at 38 and there was a larger gap between the other two than you will have. They were convinced that DH and I did purely to embarrass them. We hadn't planned a 3rd child and it did impact on my career a bit but I am glad that I went ahead with it. It's a hard thing to decide and I suspect that those of us who did go ahead and have a 3rd child later are going to say that it's great because that's how it goes. Perhaps you could talk to a counsellor?

MsFiremanSam Wed 05-Oct-16 13:08:02

38 here and due any day with DC3 so I hope not! TBH this has been my easiest pregnancy because I was the fittest I've ever been before conceiving this one.

choccybiscuit Wed 05-Oct-16 13:29:06

I'm 38 and pregnant with no.3. I'm definitely fitter than I was with the first two. And I have a very large gap of 13 Years between dd1 and 2!

user1475665394 Wed 05-Oct-16 14:02:11

Wow thanks for all your messages, its made me feel great, positive and that I'm not alone. My friends all have kids similar ages to mine, and we joke about how stressful it would be to have more, but when that one accident happens (i was only wanting a pair of shoes out of the husband instead of me using my money to buy them......bloody expensive shoes!!) your mind set really changes. I think or should I say I know deep down that I couldn't go through a termination but just wanted to get some opinions and say out loud that I was pregnant to someone without it being someone I knew. You guys don't know how much this has meant to me and how grateful I'am..........Thank you very much. Aaarrggh I'm going to have three monsters......At least I have some on hand babysitters/help and one child that doesn't want, want want.....for the time being!!!

MsFiremanSam Wed 05-Oct-16 14:55:09

Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy!

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