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Being a single Parent

(7 Posts)
fizzy1986 Fri 16-Sep-16 16:20:15

I woukd like some advice if anyone can help? I'm 30 years old and have recently found out im 7 weeks pregnant to my ex boyfriend who is 34 and he already has 2 kids to a previous relationship. We broke up as we had been arguing alot. I found i was pregnant 3 weeks ago and he outright said he wants me to have an abortion. I took some time to decide what i wanted. During the last few weeks he has been nice to me takimg me out etc and telling me how much he loves me and misses me but he doesnt want another baby. I told him 2 days ago that i am keeping the baby. He went crazy and said he hates me, im selfish, i dont care about him or his life. He wants nothing to do with me anymore. He doesnt want this baby and im taking his choices away feom him.Telling me im a horrible person and im not the person he thought i was. Im so upset by all this and honestly dont understand what i have done to deserve this. He put up on facebook today saying hes better off single. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Summer1979 Fri 16-Sep-16 16:38:11

Sweetie, I hear your pain. After 8 weeks of this exact situation happening to me, my ex pack and left me. I cried, cried and cried. I was terrified about being alone. I already have a lovely child. I was scared.

I hid it from my family, until my panicked mother thought I had cancer and I finally admitted I was alone and pregnant. She said oh gosh, is that all. This we can deal with. My god it was the support I needed after being made to feel like I was doing something cruel and terrible in bringing this life into the world.

You will feel alone and scared, but you're not. It will be hard and everyone else will have their partner about. You'll find out you're stronger than you think you are and despite your ex being a dingo, he's given you a gift. I feel sorry for mine now that he's going to miss this amazing journey. More fool him.

Also take him off your facebook. I have prevented all my/ his social media coming my/ his way and don't be ashamed to enjoy your pregnancy like I was.

fizzy1986 Fri 16-Sep-16 16:47:57

Thank you for your reply. Yeah ive blocked him on everything now. Im just so hurt and dont understand how you can treat someone you say you love like this

divadee Fri 16-Sep-16 16:52:58

A cynic would say all the nice things he was doing and saying was him trying to control the situation and make you make a decision that he wanted under the guise that you wanted it as well.

You are better off without a low life that would do that. Glad you have blocked and starting to move on. Yes it will be hard at times but hopefully you have good friends and family around you that will support you and your new little bundle of joy.

SharkBastard Fri 16-Sep-16 17:40:40

I fell pregnant 9 years ago, the father went mental about it, told me to abort, told me he hoped we would die etc. I went ahead with the pregnancy alone and it was the best bloody thing in my life! My DD is wonderful!

I'm now married and 8+5 with number 2. Honestly, the bond between Lone parent and child is phenomenal. Yes, it can be harder but it's AMAZING. I had 4 years alone raising my DD and our bond is stronger than I could have ever imagined.

Your ex sounds very controlling and hoping you'll abort. Do what feels right for YOU. Don't let him get to you, if you want to proceed with the pregnancy then do! If not, it's up to you not anyone else.

Summer1979 Fri 16-Sep-16 17:49:44

I'll never get over how someone who said (and still says) they love me did that. I wouldn't treat a dog how he treated me. But one thing I am lucky about is already being a Mum and the absolute unconditional love from that child you will have will make this all ok.
It will be ok and you'll be so much better off for it.
I can't believe I was made to feel ashamed and dirty for 'getting myself' in this situation but I am not embracing my pregnancy and enjoying every scan, little kick and flutter. I cannot wait to meet my new friend. You'll be a great Mum.

Squtternutbosch Fri 16-Sep-16 20:49:39

Ah OP, flowers for you. I am in a really similar situation, except I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant, and there is an OW involved in my situation, which made it that bit more fun.

I went through all the "I love you, I miss you" etc when he was just trying to manipulate and control the situation and force me to have an abortion so he wouldn't have to tell his OW what had happened and I came within a hair's breadth of an abortion but I backed out at the last minute.

Only you can decide what you want to do, but do NOT let yourself be bullied into anything. Your ex sounds like an arse.

We should have a single-mums-with-arsehole-exes support group. There should be cake.

Good luck OP

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