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Thinking about having a baby...

(9 Posts)
user1473853645 Wed 14-Sep-16 13:04:23

Myself and my husband have been thinking about having a baby for a while, but I'm afraid of how life will change!

We have been together 10 years, were childhood sweethearts. We're 26 and 28, we have done a lot of things in our time together. We moved to Somerset into a large family home last year, we are financially stable - everything is perfect for having a baby!

However I'm so afraid it will change me and our relationship, as it's always been just us 2 against to whole.

I do believe I'll be a good mother, children seem to be drawn to me. I love to care for other and look over people, so I know that's no problem. But I also like my alone time, I also previously suffered with eating disorders and my husband would argue I still do. I'm obsessed with exercising, I'm worried I won't be able to let go and enjoy being pregnant.

My husband will be a great father, he says his only concern is me and how I will react to being pregnant - he's worried I'll over exercise and won't eat enough.

I'm a worrier, I'm worried and overthinking everything. Does anyone have any advise that will help me please?

greenlizard Wed 14-Sep-16 13:25:47

I don't have any specific advice only to say that having a baby is a big change to your life but not necessarily a hard one. Depends on you and your DH really. From what you describe though you have some significant concerns about it and I think you would be foolish to ignore them.

I would suggest you consider finding a therapist to talk and work through the issues you raise - you are still young in terms of having children so taking the time to dealing with your issues would be time we'll spent IMO.

Good luck!

Mummyandwife85 Wed 14-Sep-16 13:27:14

I have three kids, newly married to my very best friend..and now pregnant again and I get why u have worries ..i too over think and over worry I'm very worried about this baby due to my life at the moment and my other kiddies, my weight,money, ect and my hubby is so worried about me daily while he is at work etc but if you both want a baby go for it cos life is too short to live with regret xx

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 14-Sep-16 13:30:55

Hmm. I guess no-one can really tell you how things will go for you, but I found when I was pregnant was the first/only time I have really felt good about my body. I continued exercising sensibly and eating sensibly throughout my pregnancy and really felt fab. So that side of things could surprise you and it might not be detrimental. But obviously I don't know you and your issues.

Other parts of your post sound perfect! Nice house in somerset - dreamy! I'm from the cheddar valley 👍🏻! Financially stable, like caring for people... The question is, do you WANT a baby or are you just thinking about it because it seems like the next step? There's no rush really at 26, I had DS last year at 25 and that felt quite young. I was in London though where the average seemed to be much much older.

But in my opinion most people are never ready to have a baby, you can't really prepare for it. So my overall advice is jump in, it's ace!

BreatheDeep Wed 14-Sep-16 14:51:24

I'm not really sure what advice can be given to reassure you as life changes differently for everyone after having a baby. But I will say for me and my DH, we became even more of a 'team' when we became parents and it's made our relationship even stronger.

divadee Wed 14-Sep-16 15:16:45

I think sometimes people can overthink having children (and many under think it as well!!) Yes life can and will change but you and your partner will change with it. As long as you face things together and work as a team then it will be great. Children are an addition to a family. It helps people grow and move on to the next step (if you were secure together in the first place!)

I say go for it!

Desmondo2016 Wed 14-Sep-16 15:56:47

Are you me?!! Honestly I could have written your post myself.

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant and unbelievably my eating / body image obsessions have completely evaporated and I love my changing (fat) body.

On paper you will never be able to convince yourself having a child is the right thing to do. However, I'm pretty certain that you will find all your doubts and worries either evaporate or work themselves out once you get pregnant. It sounds like you're in a great position to take the next step. Having said that, time is on your side and in a year or two you may find you know for CERTAIN that you're ready!

PotteringAlong Wed 14-Sep-16 16:04:42

I think you need to be honest about whether you still have an eating disorder and, if you do, I'd seek help for that first or, at the very least, speak to a GP about any specialist help available for people who are pregnant with eating disorders so you can access the help or monitoring you will need straight away.

Mummyandwife85 Wed 14-Sep-16 16:16:42

I apologise that I did see the bit of ur post about ur past eating disorder.. I too have suffered from eating disorders shameful during my first pregnancy I developed an eating disorder from a bad bout of food poisoning and I did relapse after the birth of my second baby also it's a horrible thing to suffer from and I totally get ur fears and worries xx maybe talk to someone professional about all this before you both make a decision xx big hugs xx

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