I'm 34, married all of 5 mins (been together for 4 years) and pregnant with a honeymoon baby.
I never wanted kids. I like them, don't get me wrong, but it suited me to marry a man, who has been married before and has two kids in their early 20's.
Anyway, we're going ahead. Despite my DH being in his early 50's, he's delighted and all our plans of me retiring when he does to spend more time sailing and golfing (amongst many others) have evaporated.
My main problem now is that I am crippled with fear. I was very vocal about not wanting kids and had we not been pissed one night on honeymoon and reckless with contraception then we wouldn't be. In return for my openness, my DH has previously been very honest with me about becoming a parent 20 odd years ago. He admitted he viewed his wife very differently afterwards) Still love of course, but more Mum rather than the sexy creature he married. I'd imagine watching a watermelon come out a hole the size of a golf ball would do that?! It greatly impacted their sex life too, neither were as keen afterwards. I consider myself to have a high sex drive, so this is causing me concern.
I'm also aware that his first wife managed to produce two babies in excess of 8lbs with no pain relief and escaped all sorts of scaries like episiotomies etc. I feel inadequate already. I cannot help torturing myself that he's comparing. He's given me no indication he thinks this except I'm sleeping loads (I'm currently 9weeks) and when I moaned 'do you think this is normal' he replied 'I don't think so', meaning that he's referring to his only other source of knowledge and the first wife didn't sleep around the clock. Fair enough, everyone is different.
There must be other women here with partners who have had children with another woman before them; did you worry about this? Am I being crazy?
I think I am because my DH is an absolute sweetheart. He'd be horrified to know I was getting into such a tizz.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Pregnancy
Pregnant - Shocked & Terrified. DH already has kids
8 replies
TheNewWife · 14/09/2016 06:06
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.