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5 months old & just found out I'm expecting again. Advice please

(12 Posts)
JaneS16 Tue 06-Sep-16 15:20:54

I hope I'm in the right place. My little one just turned 5 months and I've just found out that I'm pregnant again. It wasn't planned and I am using birth control. So it's a shock. I'm not sure how I feel. I don't want people to judge me. My husband said he'd stick by me no matter what. I've just started a new lower paid job after being made redundant. I'm not going to lie I have considered termination but I don't know if I can go through with it.
Does anyone have any advice?
Many thanks

UnicornPee Tue 06-Sep-16 15:27:05

Whilst not being in this situation myself, I have two seperate friends who are both less than a year apart from their sibling. And they are so close it kinda makes me jelous.
Maybe having kids so close would be nice?
My two kids are 3.5 years apart and hate each other x

captainproton Tue 06-Sep-16 15:29:56

You will have the same age gap as my eldest. They are 3 and 4 now and honestly they are the best of friends and do everything together. I'm not going to lie the first year was a bit tricky but we coped. If you are worried about how you will cope then I think with lots of planning in advance and possibly getting some help from family (we didn't have any and still coped) then you should be ok. Anyway I now have a 7 month old and it's all good.

Also being pregnant with a baby is way easier than being pregnant with a toddler. Babies nap and are not very mobile a bloody godsend during morning sickness months.

MiaowTheCat Tue 06-Sep-16 15:39:16

It'll work out OK - I've only ducked in as it came up in active topics - but I've got an 11 month age gap. Combination of the fact I don't carry pregnancies to term (I seem to try to go into labour around the 33 week mark - but they held it off with DD2 until week 36) and the fact it took us 6 years for DD1 and we decided to see what happened with a second - one bonk!

Honestly - it's not as bad as you'd think - my personal idea of hell for age gaps involves a crawling baby and older child at the Lego stage. You just get into the swing of doing everything twice in terms of nappies etc. Be prepared for your eldest to suddenly feel like gargantua-baby the first time you see them after the birth! (It goes away fast that feeling!)

Mine are now 3 and 4 and apart from my youngest having a slight language delay as her gobshite sister won't let her get a word in edgeways - they're incredibly close.

SPD with a not-yet mobile older baby was pretty rough going as well.

Nikki2ol6 Tue 06-Sep-16 16:30:04

My little girl was born August 09 and I found out I was pregnant January 10!! Gave birth 1 month after her first birthday. Like you it wasn't planned! Anyways they are 7 and almost 6 now and I can tell you they have never been lonely! It is hard having two in nappies. Night feeds then getting up to a toddler. But it's so worth it

PacificDogwod Tue 06-Sep-16 16:35:08

Sorry this has come as a bit of an unwelcome surprise.

My situations was similar (pregnant when DS1 was 5 months old) but different (v much wanted pregnancy although we did not think it would happen so quickly as it took 5 years to make DS1) and it all worked out fine (although DS2 was then 10 weeks early so their actual age gap is almost exactly 1 year).

I'll not lie to you the first 2 years were tought because I had effectively a big baby and a small baby. I often wondered whether twins would have been easier or harder to look after.
They are now 13 and 12 and very close to each other - DS2 has just overtaken DS1 in height grin

Good luck. I'm glad your DH is supportive (and I hope he realises his part in this rather than just 'sticking by you' as if this pregnancy is somehow your 'fault' alone').

JaneS16 Tue 06-Sep-16 16:56:55

Thank you everyone for the advice and sharing your experiences.
This is something I didn't think I'd have to deal with for a while. Everything happens for a reason I guess

Nikkitee44 Tue 06-Sep-16 22:19:31

I know the feeling well... I'm 17 weeks in with number 2 and number 1 has just turned 9 months... I don't have a partner (second baby's dad shot off sharpish once we found out) or a job for that matter! It's terrifying... Im purely holding onto a couple of positive thoughts about the future:
- they'll have each other and having siblings is great!
- they'll play together when they're old enough, and it won't be long!
- there will be a moment where it'll all make sense!

I had the implant in too... Clearly there's a reason these bubs want to be here xxx

LynseyH Wed 07-Sep-16 10:26:24

I wanted to jump in as I only have 10 months between mine. I was 5 weeks pregnant when baby was 10 wks old.

I can very honestly echo some of the previous comments about how they are the best of friends. I really enjoyed having them so close and although you get an off day occasionally, the good far outweighs the bad.
Mine are now 3 and 4 and one is just starting school, leaving the other at nursery. They are finding it hard to be separated but also enjoying abit of independence from each other. I also now pregnant with number 4 so it certainly didn't put me off!

Ineedaheronoidont Wed 07-Sep-16 11:33:06

Hi. Mine have 11 months difference. It's bloody hard work, can't lie, but some moments make your heart swell - they're so cute together, they totally love each other. Ds is 19 months and dd is nearly 9 months.... And I'm 12 weeks pregnant! 😊 Didn't put me off that much.

My husband is amazing (not heroic wink) and I couldn't do it without him. You'll manage, you just do!

Good luck with whatever you choose.

FlurkenSchnit Wed 07-Sep-16 14:21:03

My DS2 was exactly 5 weeks old when my DD turned 1, it was hard and made more difficult by a horrible birth/subsequent hospitalisation for infection (me) together with my DS1 being in and out of hospital for around 5 months all at the same time! The early days passed in a haze of feeding and nappy changing but they are so close now at 5 and 4 it is lovely to see. Also didn't put me off as I also have another baby DS4 11 months!

FlurkenSchnit Wed 07-Sep-16 14:24:26

*DS3, not DS4

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