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Scared and alone

(4 Posts)
user1469032438 Sun 04-Sep-16 19:39:11

I have reposted this as I didn't like the original title sorry if you've read it once.

Hi everyone, just wondering if any one has been in a similar situation to me and can offer any advice.
I am 16 weeks pregnant with my first child. I was with the father for two years but he was emotionally abusive and threatened violence all the time (although never hit me). I only had one friend when I got with him and she hated me and we lost touch. I got back in touch when found out I'm pregnant and was told I made my bed now lie in it and she didn't want to know as in her eyes I picked my ex over her. I have no other friends. My mum and dad are supportive and I had an aunts who was like a best friend and going to be my birthing partner however, because I was a twenty a day smoker and now still smoke 3 fags a day (I know it is wrong but it's the best I can manage atm) she told me I'm gunna be a bad mum and I've done nothing to show I want a baby I shouldn't be looking for sympathy and I'm acting like a stupid little girl crying because I'm being told the truth. She told me no one wants me to have the baby and it's unfair to expect my parents to be my only support,I came away feeling selfish and worthless, needless to say I no longer want her at the birth of my gorgeous baby if she thinks i will be a bad mum. So basically I'm left feeling alone, I've got no friends and I feel she is right that I'm asking too much of parents. I have no support but love my baby even though it's still early days. Am I mad for carrying on with my pregnancy if I'm the only one who cares? Is there any support groups for isolated mums? I haven't told the father I'm pregnant either as my parents dislike him and said its them or him to help me and I'm terrified of being completely alone. Am I being selfish not telling him?
I don't know if it helps but I'm 24 and live in the Chester area
All advice is very welcome.

DanniAngelMummy Sun 04-Sep-16 19:52:52

Hey smile
I'm sorry your feeling isolated, but your not alone - try to get yourself in different groups locally to meet new people! Once baby is here there will be mum and baby groups to go to where you will have common ground smile make sure that everything you do is for you and for baby - don't be bullied!!
Try not to beat yourself up about smoking, cutting down is much better than not taking any action!
Not much I can say but don't feel alone - always here for a chat flowers

InsaneMummyOfThree Mon 05-Sep-16 11:55:54

Hi op, I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. I think everyone around is being extremely selfish as they are not allowing you to do as u wish and enjoy YOUR pregnancy and YOUR baby. I think you've done really well cutting down with the cigarettes and that shows u care. What do u want to do with regards to telling the babies dad?? Could u mention to ur midwife that ud like to meet single mums to be in the area,there may be a support group she could suggest to u. In our area we have surestart which are sessions for babies and toddlers. We moved to a new area and iv made loads of new friends from this. Don't let anybody tell u how to feel, u are your own person. Stay strong and big hugs to u. Xx

KayTee87 Mon 05-Sep-16 14:09:46

I second using your midwife to find other ladies in similar situations, also if you feel comfortable you could tell her your exact situation as they are there to offer you support during and after pregnancy. They will also be able to help you cut down smoking further with an aim to completely stopping.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and well done on cutting down smoking. A few years ago I smoked 20 a day and it was very hard to quit, I used an e- cig. They're not recommended in pregnancy but must be better than real cigarettes.

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