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Birthing partner or lack of

(1 Post)
user1469032438 Sun 04-Sep-16 18:48:51

Hi everyone, just wondering if any one has been in a similar situation to me and can offer any advice.
I am 16 weeks pregnant with my first child. I was with the father for two years but he was emotionally abusive and threatened violence all the time (although never hit me). I only had one friend when I got with him and she hated me and we lost touch. I got back in touch when found out I'm pregnant and was told I made my bed now lie in it and she didn't want to know as in her eyes I picked my ex over her. I have no other friends. My mum and dad are supportive and I had an aunts who was like a best friend and going to be my birthing partner however, because I was a twenty a day smoker and now still smoke 3 fags a day (I know it is wrong but it's the best I can manage atm) she told me I'm gunna be a bad mum and I've done nothing to show I want a baby I shouldn't be looking for sympathy and I'm acting like a stupid little girl crying because I'm being told the truth. She told me no one wants me to have the baby and it's unfair to expect my parents to be my only support,I came away feeling selfish and worthless, needless to say I no longer want her at the birth of my gorgeous baby if she thinks i will be a bad mum. So basically I'm left feeling alone, I've got no friends and I feel she is right that I'm asking too much of parents. I have no support but love my baby even though it's still early days. Am I mad for carrying on with my pregnancy if I'm the only one who cares? Is there any support groups for isolated mums? I haven't told the father I'm pregnant either as my parents dislike him and said its them or him to help me and I'm terrified of being completely alone. Am I being selfish not telling him?
I don't know if it helps but I'm 24 and live in the Chester area
All advice is very welcome.

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