Elective c section after traumatic first birth

[NorthLondonMum83]

My DS is 12 months old and I'm 14 weeks pregnant. Always keen for a small gap! His birth was difficult. Long, very distressing for him and me, resulting in assured delivery. Was very, very scary and although I physically recovered well I've had nightmares and become distressed when talking about it. I'm considering an elective c section... Has anyone done the same? To be clear I would want to persuade NHS to do it really, I have private health care but not covered unless for medical reasons.

[NotLostJustSomewhereSafe]

My children are now 12 and 11 so it was a while back but I did just this. I couldn't sleep for worrying over it. Like you DC1 was a long, traumatic assisted birth which ended in scbu only because they didn't take the decision to get her out sooner. In fact, the doctor involved came to me the next day to apologise!! My midwife second time round told me that I would need to really push to get an elective cs, explain how the anxiety was affecting my life, etc. and she arranged an appointment with a consultant. I went prepared to beg but he took one look at my notes and said "I think a cs for you."
I felt so much better once the decision was made. I hope it is as easy for you.

[isitseptemberyet]

Hi :)
I'm preg with my fifth, trained as a midwife and chose an elective section for my 4th after an unpleasant experience with my third...
Firstly, if u speak to any midwife / your friends or even google it you'll find that first births are almost always a struggle and a hell of a shack to the system (i ended up with PND). However, 2nd babies tend to FLY out ! (Mine was 40 mins from start to finish)! It's because your body has done it before, midwifes stay close during a 2nd labor because you can go from 3 cm to fully so quickly !

It's your birth, and your body and your choice, and if you ask to see a consultant they can Not refuse to give you a section, it is your right... and if you are unhappy with any aspect of your care you can change your midwife/ consultant with ease (I have changed from my entire county hospital this time, as i want to give birth elsewhere), it's all doable !

You need to consider whether you would like more children (hard right now i know), but if you choose to have a section this time it will impact your birth 'next time'.

Good luck to you, whichever way you go you will have your lovely baby at the end of it x

[Whatsername17]

My sil did. Consultant recommended it due to a 4th degree tear and assisted delivery of an almost 10lb baby. C section was done at 38 weeks. She had no issues at all.

[InsaneMummyOfThree]

Hi northlondon, I was in your situation a few years ago. My lo's are 12 months apart and I had a very scary emergency c section first time round. So second time I booked an elective all was good. Except for me it wasn't. As I got closer to my section date I wished that id have given it a go. I felt like I couldnt back down as id pushed for the section as my midwife and consultant tried to convince me to at least try. On the operating table I felt a big anxiety as I felt if anything went wrong it would be my fault. My lo was born and all was fine but I did regret my decision. Third time round all medical professionals wanted me to section but I pushed to try natural. I was desperate for my body to go into labour naturally ( was induced with the first) so I even went for acupuncture on my due date. I eventually went into labour and can honestly say that I loved every minute of it. I was so glad I got to experience the gental build up of contractions and my waters breaking. Unfortunately it ended in a section but that was due to other things. I would suggest going to the consultant and talking through your options. Keep an open mind and maybe ask to be left to try and go into labour on your own but if it doesnt happen by a week (or the time duration u decide) then could u opt straight for the section. Its your labour and ur choice so if ur sure u def want a section go for it. X

[Gardencentregroupie]

I had an assisted delivery and 4th degree tear with DD, and still have some issues. I'm 13 weeks with my second and am going to request a CS. I know second deliveries are usually better but the risk of a severe tear is a lot higher if you've already had one, and even if I don't tear it could still damage me further, so I'm not willing to chance it.

I saw a consultant for a debrief after my last birth and he told me he highly recommended a CS for any further babies, I have a meeting with the same consultant in a few weeks so we'll see if he remembers that!

[m0therofdragons]

I did. Technically only 3rd degree tear as I tore down the sides (where trainee mw caught me in the metal speculum). 32 stitches and terrible mw care led dh and I to see gp to say we wanted baby no 2 but I couldn't go through that again. He referred us to the consultant who looked at my notes and apologised for my experience (1st person who genuinely saw my birth was badly led). He agreed to cs, I got pg and it turned out to be id twins and both were transverse so cs was only option. It was fab and I was well prepared.

[InsaneMummyOfThree]

What I was trying to say at the end is. With my third we agreed on a plan that I was allowed to go 10 days over due but if nothing had happened by then my section was booked for that date. I was happy with that as I knew that if my body didnt do it on its own I didnt want an awful induction. Go see the consultant and agree on a plan that suits u. Be strong in u our decisions but if at any point u change ur mind dont be scared to say so. X

[Xmasbaby11]

I had a traumatic birth with dd1 that left me with a severe prolapse. I had dd2 2 years later and had elcs. My consultant suggested it and it was amazing - very straightforward and recovery was fine. I'd recommend it 100%.

[NorthLondonMum83]

Thanks all. I was actually very surprised after explaining what had happened first time around to be told by mw at 10wk appt: 1) second time that probably won't happen 2) we've booked you into birth centre (no one asked me, for various reasons I would prefer labour ward and 3) essentially we won't make it very easy if you ask for elcs! I thought that guidelines had changed and I could request it and be listened to, I really didn't get that feeling. Actually I left pretty angry! Perhaps that was unfair of me, it's an emotional time.

[PotteringAlong]

You can request and be granted an elective section. The guidelines say it's your choice and you don't need a reason.

[Moreisnnogedag]

I also did this. Terrible first delivery so was very anxious about ds2. Told mw I wanted c-section at booking and she referred. I must admit I'd printed out nice guidelines and went to appt all prepared for a fight but consultant looked at my history and offered section straight away. Whereabouts are you?

[Haggisfish]

Guidelines have changed but they will try hard to persuade you otherwise as hospitals get penalised for high cs rates. Keep pushing (excuse the pun!!). I fought long and hard and got an elcs. Consultant came up with all sorts of bull shit about why I shouldn't have one and I wrote a letter of complaint after. Eh he said it would definitely interfere with bonding and bf. Utter claptrap.

[maddiesparks]

Yes I have had two elective sections after an 'alleged' normal delivery with my first. The first delivery involved ventouse, forceps, episiotomy, a very distressed baby, lots of tears and stitches and massive blood loss. No way was I going to even take the smallest chance of going through that again and asked for an elective section and the Consultant was happy to do it. It was a brilliant experience in comparison to the first.

[NorthLondonMum83]

Thanks all I'll keep trying. North London. Excellent hospital, but they do have high c section rates - due I think to them taking patients in emergencies from elsewhere. Great at encouraging bf and lots of good practices. Keen to reduce cs rates I guess. I'll keep trying! Wonder if should request to see consultant sooner than later? Suspect will get more of same at 16wk appt.

[mummydoc123]

Yes do ask to see a consultant. Decisions about your own healthcare are meant to be about 'informed consent' - not you are informed of what someone else has decided and you should go along with it but that you understand the risks and benefits of any intervention and agree on a plan of care with your care giver. You should have the chance to discuss your concerns openly with a senior clinician. I would have been angry with the midwife too!

[megletthesecond]

northlond don't worry too much about what your new midwife says. Following dc1's EMCS shenanigans my debrief midwife told me to never try for a natural birth (I wasn't planning to). Those notes weren't seen by my dc2 booking in midwife and she rolled her eyes and dismissed me when I said I needed a cs. One visit to my consultant later and he was relieved I wanted a cs and it was arranged.

So, in a nutshell, don't stop asking to see the consultant to get it arranged. Bit of polite grown up pester power .

[TheHuntingOfTheSarky]

I had an emergency section with DD1 as she was in distress following being induced and nothing happening (12 days overdue and turned out cord was round her neck). It was very traumatic and took a long time to recover from.

When I got pregnant with DD2 all the old memories and emotional pain returned and I really felt that I couldn't go through the same experience again.

A local midwife (you never get the same one twice around here) put the frighteners on me trying to tell me I wouldn't be allowed to have an Elective and basically that I should just suck it up and "put up with" a vaginal delivery "like everyone has to do". In other words she thought I was whining and afraid of pain.

I worried for months and lost a lot of sleep until I was finally able to get an appointment with the correct consultant who dealt with second pregnancies following C sections. He was amazing and agreed to my wishes immediately. I had my Elective and the experience was great, so much less stress than the first time around.

In short, don't believe anyone who tells you you won't be allowed to do things a certain way. Find a consultant and explain your fears.

I wish you the very best of luck

[NorthLondonMum83]

Hunting sounds not dissimilar to the midwife I spoke to. I really thought I'd be taken seriously, especially as it was so recent and clearly upsetting. I'll keep going, I'm very capable of being polite but pushy when I need to be

[TheHuntingOfTheSarky]

I think the fact that it is so recent can only act in your favour. And don't forget, you can choose another consultant or another hospital if you want to .

[Nikki2ol6]

Hello, my first birth was awful, it lasted for 4 days!!! Labour stopping and starting, irregular pains, I couldn't eat or sleep, the hospital kept sending me home. I had lost my plug and was bleeding lightly so knew I was in the early stages but you hear of people going into labour and having their baby some hours later. I had never heard of it lasting for 4 days on end!!!!

When I was admitted to hospital I got myself an epidural! I slept for hours and hours and when it was time to push my poor little girl had just had enough, after 3 hours of pushing her heart rate dropped and didn't come back up, the midwife jumped up and pushed the emergency button. I was rushed down the corridor into a theatre and made to sign a form for c section (my biggest fear) thankfully my baby could come out with forceps!! My bp dropped very low and they had to turn to bed on its side. My baby came out fine and screaming but I don't really remember much else, I was took to recovery and I was awake the whole time and I thought I was there 10 minuets but it was around 5 hours. I was told things I had said and don't remember any of it!
Since they used forceps I needed a cut, at 2 days old my cut got infected!!! Worst pain ever!!!! After 2 weeks I was fine but traumatised.

When my little girl was 4 months old I got pregnant. I was too scared of a c section and opted to let nature take its course.

My labour was much nicer and only lasted 13 hours in total. I did tear but those didn't get infected. I was back to my normal self by day 4!!

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

I'm doing this! Not pregnant yet but will start trying soon. Had a year of physio after DS and things are still a tad iffy so deffo having a section, already asked and been told i should be offered one. Watching this thread!

[Metalhead]

You will have to jump through some hoops and probably feel patronised along the way OP, but if you want an ELCS you should get one. I had DD2 last year and first saw one of the consultant's team at 20 weeks. He basically tried to fob me off with the old "2nd births are ALWAYS easier" line (which blatantly isn't true) and was very dismissive of my concerns whilst playing up the risks of a CS. However, at 28 weeks I saw the actual consultant and, while she also encouraged a VB, I felt she took me seriously and in the end said she'd support my decision if I chose a CS. At 32 weeks it was then simply a case of signing the consent form.

In terms of recovery, it took a little longer than I thought to feel back to normal (about 5-6 weeks), but overall I'm still glad I chose the CS as I didn't have any of the psychological trauma of my first birth and therefore bonded much better with DD2. Good luck!

[Honeybee79]

I am considering and elcs for dc2, due in 3 months, after a traumatic emergency section with DS. Saw consultant ages ago and he said it was entirely up to me and seemed to genuinely listen to my concerns. I didn't want to make a decision there and then so I am going back to see him in a few more weeks. I am hesitating over the section due to the recovery time and having to get DS to school/be up and running fairly quickly after the birth. Am with King's in South London.

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Ooh I had DS at Kings loved it.

[TheHuntingOfTheSarky]

Honeybee re recovery time, I personally found I was back on my feet again much more quickly after the second section. Don't know why. First time I was in hospital 5 nights, second time only overnight. Only prob was driving but thankfully DD1 was only 3 when I had DD2 so we didn't have school runs etc to think about.