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Help! Don't know who father is 5 months pregnant

(62 Posts)
Rosiexxxx Wed 31-Aug-16 15:15:39

I am currently 5months 2 weeks pregnant.
Have told my partner its hrs child as thought it was he's over the moon as so was I only today I fount out when we split up in April on the 9th I had intercourse with one night stand being stupid and drunk
Before then and after having regular sex
I ovulated apparently on 11th April
Baby's due 2nd January 2017
Help don't know what to do and I love my boyfriend and want it to be he's child as he does so much! I'm heartbroken stressed

Gmbk Wed 31-Aug-16 15:25:35

Wouldn't you have conceived before the 9th?

I did and I'm not due until 15th Jan

Rosiexxxx Wed 31-Aug-16 15:37:56

When I used google I searched ovulation calculator said the 11th April I'm not sure if it's working it out right? Xxx

Becciilouisex3 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:38:31

I would imagine that you concieved before the 9th by your due date, however it may be worth asking your midwife about possible conception date.

If it turns out there's a possibility the baby isn't your partner's, you really need to do a DNA test for your child's sake so that you can put the correct name on the birth certificate.

Hoping its your partners LO, good luck flowers

Rosiexxxx Wed 31-Aug-16 15:40:34

I really do hope so Becki. How can I find out the exact date of ovulation? ❤️

Mausageandsash Wed 31-Aug-16 15:41:32

Yes I'd say that the 11th is a bit late

pontificationcentral Wed 31-Aug-16 15:42:29

No way to tell for sure until you get DNA test. I am though, slightly boggled by the fact you found out today you had sex with someone else in April... How do you get five months along before realising that?! Does your partner know you had ONS when you split? Please tell me you didn't get back together with him BECAUSE you found out you were pg?

PotteringAlong Wed 31-Aug-16 15:43:26

You cannot retrospectively find out the exact date of ovulation - everyone will ovulate at slightly different points in their cycle. You can come up with a rough idea but nothing more.

Your only way of knowing for sure will be a DNA test after birth.

PotteringAlong Wed 31-Aug-16 15:44:32

On a completely different point; if you didn't know you had sex and only discovered that today then that suggests you were raped.

Rosiexxxx Wed 31-Aug-16 15:59:32

No I couldn't remember the date due to I was intoxicated. There's no need to be rude this is a mistake bad one I just want advice feel terrible

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 16:04:13

Do you mean you couldn't remember the sex, or you have only just realised what date it was on?

NerrSnerr Wed 31-Aug-16 16:06:26

The only way forward now is to be honest will all involved and do a DNA test when the baby is here.

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 16:09:32

Are you asking whether there is any way of knowing, or are you asking whether you should go ahead with finding out? Slightly different questions...

PotteringAlong Wed 31-Aug-16 16:11:47

if you didn't know you had sex and only discovered that today then that suggests you were raped.

I wasn't trying to be rude; I was suggesting that you had been sexually assaulted and only just found out and, therefore, you might need to process that.

Rosiexxxx Wed 31-Aug-16 16:14:13

Okay. Sorry do

IzzyIsBusy Wed 31-Aug-16 16:20:12

On a completely different point; if you didn't know you had sex and only discovered that today then that suggests you were raped.

No it doesn't shock

It suggests the OP didnt think to much about that actual date until she googled ovulation dates!
OP admits it was a one night stand. She doesnt suggest it was not consensual.

Crikey over reaction much.

PotteringAlong Wed 31-Aug-16 17:22:36

If you are so drunk you cannot remember you had sex then it cannot be consensual...

PotteringAlong Wed 31-Aug-16 17:23:57

That's how I read it anyway, that's she's only just discovered today that she had a ONS after they split up.

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 17:27:38

Pottering: That isn't true. Memory blackout occurs at different stages of drunkenness for different people. Particularly if you are a heavy drinker, for example, you can still be fundamentally in control and acting with free will, but the alcohol can have shut down the neurological process that creates long-term memory. So some people forget the night before, but others would not have noticed they were particularly drunk at the time, and they would still be able to choose whether or not to carry out a specific action.

pontificationcentral Wed 31-Aug-16 17:49:00

I have to say I was reading it that she only realised today she'd had sex with someone else. Surely if you knew you'd had a ONS (at any point in the last month) it would be the first thing you'd think of when you pissed on the stick?!...
Anyhoo - good luck with the DNA test op. It's unclear if your dp knows you had ONS during the split <shades of Friends> but hopefully it does turn out to be his.

boodles101 Wed 31-Aug-16 17:50:09

I'm due Jan 9th so exactly 1 week after you and I used OPKs with a positive test on April 18th ( i have a shorter 25 day cycle) so it is possible that you could have ovulated then but it's all down to your own body and cycle. Theres no exact way of knowing so as above the only way of truly knowing is a DNA test. I hope it all works out for you.

IzzyIsBusy Wed 31-Aug-16 18:48:01

She isnt saying she found out she had a ons. She is saying today when she googled conception dates that the ons was on the 9th so a possibility of being the dad.

madmadamemim Wed 31-Aug-16 19:57:49

Do you have regular cycles OP? How long?

I'm due Dec 31st and have 32/33 day cycles and am 99% sure I conceived on the 10th April (tracked for a long long time before bfp)

ConvincingLiar Wed 31-Aug-16 20:00:16

I think you can get legitimate DNA tests done in utero. They're not cheap, but might be worth it for some certainty.

Parney Wed 31-Aug-16 23:13:51

Hi OP, I'm due January 1st. I've a 28 day cycle and last period started March 27th.
I only dtd on April 9th and 10th with a gap of a week either side of this weekend so definitely conceived then, opk suggested I ovulated that weekend.

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