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New mum- Confused about sleeping devices

(23 Posts)
Jules6525 Tue 30-Aug-16 19:53:29

Hi everyone,

I have been looking at what to buy my newborn baby when it is born to sleep in, I know the baby will need a cot but I have been told that's too big for a new born. I am planning on breast feeding if I don't have any issues.

I have been looking at the following-

Moses basket
Next to me
Cot separators

I would like any advice on what everyone thinks is best.

Many thanks

AnythingNotEverything Tue 30-Aug-16 19:54:49

Baby is totally fine in a cot from the start. Can you fit the cot in your room? Baby should sleep in the same room as you for all sleep for the first 6 months.

PlanBwastaken Tue 30-Aug-16 19:59:35

Then again, I've never had a baby who stays asleep in a cot... the second time around we got a cosleeper and a sleepyhead, to maximize the amount of sleep we'd get.

Jules6525 Tue 30-Aug-16 19:59:44

The cot can fit into our bedroom, do I need to put anything into the cot whilst the baby is new or can the baby just go straight into the cot on its own?

GoldPlatedBacon Tue 30-Aug-16 20:00:55

I couldn't have coped with the demands of breastfeeding if I hadn't co-slept. I had a crib, it was very be, but my dd mostly slept in bed with me. If I have another baby my number one purchase will be a co sleeper crib.

ElspethFlashman Tue 30-Aug-16 20:03:43

Very few babies tolerate sleeping in a cot for the first month. Or indeed without some touch.

So I would focus first on the cocconababy or similar that you can pop in the bed with you and rest a hand on in the night.

Dixiechick17 Tue 30-Aug-16 20:04:06

Some babies settle well in a cot straight away, others find the surrounding space too much, they are all different. When my DD was a week old we bought a sleepyhead which she settled well in as preferred to be more cosy, I imagine it's strange going from being cuddled tightly in the room to suddenly having lots of space when you sleep.

FathomsDeep Tue 30-Aug-16 20:08:37

The baby can go straight into a cot, yes. But some babies may not like all that space at first. They feel safer if they are in a smaller, cosier space.

TwllBach Tue 30-Aug-16 20:10:01

I had a cot (in his own room) a crib AND a Moses basket blush the crib and basket were in our room. Did he sleep in either...? Did he fuck gringrin I coslept for the first 8 weeks and then he went straight in his own cot in his own room! But then I flouted a lot of the other guidelines too and he's still alive at 16 weeks...

FellOutOfBed2wice Tue 30-Aug-16 20:10:30

Next to you was great for our DD and have brought a sleepyhead for this time round too.

GailLondon Tue 30-Aug-16 20:18:55

I had a cocoonababy for DS2 and it was fabulous - he certainly looked very cosy in there and I think it helps stop them startle themselves awake when their arms flail about as can happen in a more open situation like in a cot. I had him right next to me in bed and I felt very safe with him protected in the cocoonababy.
With my first son I had a Moses basket to start with, but didn't like all the night wakings where you have to really twist and bend over from bed to pick them up.

hellocornflakegirl Tue 30-Aug-16 20:19:09

We found that this little crib was great for the newborn stage, and it seemed like reasonable value at £40. Every baby will be very different of course and many will want to co-sleep all or some of the time, so we didn't want to spend a huge amount of money on something which might not get used much, so this seemed a good compromise. DS sleeps happily in his and I think it's cosier than a big cot for a newborn.

Jules6525 Tue 30-Aug-16 20:23:08

Is co-sleeping having the baby in your bed? I was told not to have the baby in my bed with us hence having to buy something to keep the baby in by the side of my bed? I genuinely feel so over whelmed by all the rules and frightened of making a mistake.

WellErrr Tue 30-Aug-16 20:26:07

Cheapy Moses basket as you'll need it in the living room etc - baby should always sleep in the same room as you at first.

Then cot when Moses basket outgrown smile

Nuttypops Tue 30-Aug-16 20:27:29

We found that despite not wanting to co-sleep, DD simply wouldn't sleep any other way at first so we read up on how to do it safely and just got on with it because we wouldn't have got any sleep otherwise. We then bought a co-sleeper cot which was a godsend for breastfeeding, she would spend the first couple of hours in that then co-sleep with us after waking for her first night feed. That lasted until about 4 months, she then moved into a cot bed without any problems.

Personally, I would get a co-sleeper cot that attaches to your bed, a sleepyhead or equivalent and read up on co-sleeping so you all get enough sleep to survive those first few weeks.

hellocornflakegirl Tue 30-Aug-16 20:31:18

Yes, co-sleeping is having the baby in the bed with you - it tends to be officially advised against, that is correct. It's a complex subject though, and it's worth doing some reading up on, and definitely worth reading up on if you are considering doing it. This Baby Centre link is a good starting point

TwllBach Tue 30-Aug-16 20:33:25

I would have loved one of those attach to your bed cot things. If I have another I would definitely get one, cosleeping at its finest!!

If it helps, in the hospital the midwives told us not to cosleep too because of the dangers, but once I'd brought him home and done it for a fortnight or so I admitted it to the HV and she said as long as you follow safety guidelines it's fine if it works for you and your baby. She said (as did my community midwife) that they are made to tell you not to do it because a certain number of accidents/deaths happen a year involving it, but both of them did it! I also never wanted to cosleep (or breastfeed or baby wear) but I did and would do it again.

They will also tell you not to swaddle, but DS slept so much better being 'wrapped' that it was stupid not to. We didn't swaddle as such, but we did wrap him snugly. As he got a bit older I started using one of those sleeping bags (that I also pooh-poohed the idea of using!) and again he sleeps brilliantly in them. I like them so much I would buy them for my friends if they were pregnant.

Kinsman Tue 30-Aug-16 20:48:13

We put DD in a baby hammock which worked amazingly well...although maybe she was just a good sleeper and would have settled anywhere...

Bubbinsmakesthree Tue 30-Aug-16 20:57:14

We had a bednest bedside crib and a sleepyhead. To be honest it took a fair few weeks before the sleepyhead was any use to us, and longer still before the bednest got used (with the sleepyhead inside it).

As others have said many babies simply will not sleep without close contact with you at first. it's a phase, it should improve without any dramatic measures, and despite it not being best practice according the guidelines, many people end up co-sleeping in the early weeks as it is simply the only way to get any sleep!

For us the sleepyhead was great for transitioning - DS used to fall asleep on my chest, then I could gently roll him into the sleepyhead in the middle of our bed, where I could sleep curled up right next to him, cheek to cheek.

BertieBotts Tue 30-Aug-16 21:09:07

Rules are more guidelines. You'll find that you'll get a lot of information because different things work for different families.

The official safety guidelines are just about avoiding risk of SIDS which means you need to use something that's actually designed for babies to sleep in - not a car seat or a sofa or an adult bed or arrangement of cushions etc. Don't put anything in the cot that they could suffocate with, and don't overheat them with bedding, clothing, heating etc.

For the rest of the rules, they are all ideas of what is best practice - so it's best practice to keep the room cool, to have them near you, to have them sleeping on their backs etc but you also need to apply common sense and understand that you can't get everything perfect all the time and that's OK. So it's fine for you to pootle about in and out of the room they are sleeping in and it's OK if it's the middle of summer and the room is as cool as you can make it, etc.

WRT co-sleeping - the issue is that it's just not as simple as putting them in bed with you and everyone being happy. If you decide to bedshare you can do this safely but it takes some preparation - you need to remove pillows and duvets from the area where the baby sleeps and make sure the mattress is firm and the sheets well fitted, not loose. If you're breastfeeding you'll tend to naturally find that you curve your arms and one leg around the baby so that they don't wriggle up or down to where the pillows or duvet are. And of course if you co-sleep you need to make sure they can't roll out of your bed, which is where a lot of people find that a sidecar cot is a useful idea. (I'd personally recommend this approach very highly.)

Healthcare professionals blanket recommend against co-sleeping because there's too much information attached to "Oh but it's only safe if you do X and Y and don't do Z" - it's easier and simpler and less likely to be misunderstood to say "Don't do it". Unsafe or unprepared bedsharing is very risky.

(The don'ts are - don't co sleep if you or your partner smoke or if you've drunk alcohol or taken any medication which makes you drowsy.)

Personally I had a sidecar cot (I converted a normal one) for night time and in the day DS slept in a baby bouncer in the living room, or in his pram.

Shadowboy Tue 30-Aug-16 21:13:27

I disliked having the baby right next to my bed- constantly paranoid I was going to roll over and crush her and the noises (farts and squeaks) kept me up. In the end I had her in a Moses basket at the other end of the bedroom until she was 4 months then she went into her own cot in her own room- from that night onwards she slept through....

She's now 23 months and in a toddler bed and loves sleep- I guess the point being is that they are all different!

Nottalotta Tue 30-Aug-16 21:32:02

Ds did about 15 minutes a few times a night in his moses basket for a bit. Til I gave up and Co slept (and bf) number 2 on the way, I will be getting a Co sleeper cot. Probably hire a bed nest.

chloechloe Tue 30-Aug-16 21:44:14

DD went in a full sized cot from birth (to the horror of my MIL). We took one side off and butted it up to the bed so I could keep a hand near her. We also swaddled her which helped her sleep better. I was so terrified of SIDS that we rarely co-slept, even though BFing. I just used to sit up in bed to feed her then pop her back into her bed afterwards. Easy.

It was also really easy to transition her into her own room. At first we put the side back on the cot and moved her to the end of our bed. Then she went into her own room. Having always been in the same bed it went quite smoothly.

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