Talk

Advanced search

Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Wanker

(7 Posts)
Dlah Mon 29-Aug-16 05:26:49

slightly explicit content warning
Well that title has two meanings right now.

I posted last week about my partner admitting he didn't feel right having sex now I'm so far gone - ok - I can deal with that as I rarely want it anyway, at the time I did say to him about other contact and he said he didn't know, but never really gave an answer/hasn't touched me since.

Now we had a BBQ last night and he drank more than his fair share, but at 5am the after affects are still showing when he actually thinks he's in some sort of stealth mode that he can get away with wanking in the bed next to me without me waking/knowing.

(I know how ridiculous this sounds just typing it)

I've lay there for a good 5 mins and it's obvious, I just ended up getting up and coming down stairs, now lay on the sofa having a little cry.

I just feel sad and unwanted sad and also want to just call him a selfish Wanker (no pun intended), he obviously can't bare to touch me right now. Our sex life was great before and this is our first baby, I just feel sad there's nothing, a quick kiss now on goodbye to work and that's it

Just needed to share, sorry for random content

Sweetandsour93 Mon 29-Aug-16 05:40:57

I can understand why you feel so sad about it sad Some partners do go off sex especially nearer to the due date but that's absolutely no excuse not to be physically affectionate in other ways. He should be cuddling, kissing etc.
Wanking beside you and ignoring you is horrible. It may be because he was drunk and not thinking properly but that's not an excuse. I'd try and have a talk to him again about lack of affection and explain that it's making you feel unwanted. He might not realize how much it's bothering you.

Also try to remember that this is most likely temporary and things can get back to normal later on.

Dlah Mon 29-Aug-16 06:01:43

I hope so.

He hasn't come downstairs to see if I'm ok so I'm confident he'll deny all knowledge . . I may be pregnant but I'm not deaf or blind!

I just feel like he doesn't dare do anything for thinking I'll want sex - I told him last week, it doesn't have to lead any further, but sometimes it's nice to have a cheeky snog and sometimes a little more! we're only human, even more frustrating my mind picked tonight to actually have a dream about him coming onto me and having sex (random!) right before I woke up and this all happened! Lol

I just want him to want me, and I'm not saying he doesn't necessarily just too scared to act on it. I will correct and say I do get a cuddle on the sofa in evening, we'll usually sit and watch a box set together or something, I just feel like on the odd occasion in the next 8 weeks I might want a little more, and with all due respect, just because he feels uncomfortable getting me off in any form, doesn't mean I won't be doing it myself if urge takes hold (sorry tmi!) just wish it was that closeness together :/

seven201 Mon 29-Aug-16 06:32:12

What a plonker! It does sound like he thought you wouldn't notice the wanking next to you. But... As you obviously did he should have gone downstairs to see you. I am angry for you!

You need to chat to him again about wanting a snog etc.

cockermum85 Mon 29-Aug-16 07:47:43

Oh my goodness, you poor thing. You did so well to leave the room! I would have gone off on one! What a selfish t**t! Please please talk to him... I honestly believe there is not enough talk in a relationship these days and I think it would really help.

Trifleorbust Mon 29-Aug-16 09:08:54

Read this out loud to my husband this morning while he was half asleep. He was quite shocked that anyone would be this disrespectful to their pregnant partner. He asked whether your partner would do this on the train to work, for example.

Dlah Mon 29-Aug-16 11:47:00

So we've spoken.

He came downstairs around 7.30am and asked if I was OK - told him no and why, he's adamant he wasn't doing anything, like very adamant!

I'm now questioning myself, but either way I brought up the situation as he didn't make it clear last week, he's now confirmed he doesn't think we should do anything until after baby. I had a minor emotional "well you either don't fancy me anymore or you think it's going to hurt the baby" and he responded it was nothing at all to do with me, didn't really say what though. I'm guessing he's just got his own weird issues.

I do think it's sad in a way, that we won't be sharing any sexual contact for the rest of this time, I'm due in 8 weeks, but I respect his decision as much as he'd respect any decision I made. He just better step up his game in the meantime with kisses and cuddles and showing me he wants me! (I know that sounds a bit needy)

On the flip side, he's made his own bed if by the time baby arrives I have no sex drive at all and am too knackered anyway lol x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now