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Is 40 plus too old for having another baby?

(21 Posts)
paddiessmum76 Wed 24-Aug-16 08:37:01

Hi All

I am a mum of three. I have a 20 year old a 16 year old and a 6 year old. I love being a mum. A few years ago I split with my youngest's dad and then met the love of my life, my soulmate. Never had this feeling before and always wanted it. He has no children himself and has had a vasectomy sad thanks to his ex wife putting pressure on him to have it done. I was 40 this year but still have this dream of having a baby with the man I love. Am I crazy to want another baby? I see the way he is with my youngest and it makes me love him all the more. Apart from having to go private for the reversal there is nothing else stopping us apart from a little voice saying I'm too old. I had a small op last week and had to do a pregnancy test because I was of child bearing age. That made me feel good knowing that I was still classed as that. Anyone else been in this predicament? Would be great to hear from you smile

Trifleorbust Wed 24-Aug-16 09:22:01

Plenty of 40 year old mums out there - I wouldn't think your age would prohibit it physically and if it doesn't, you aren't too old!

drinkyourmilk Wed 24-Aug-16 09:24:13

I hope not! I finally pregnant through if at 39- will be 40 when baby is here. We plan to try for a sibling too.
There are plenty of older mum's on the board, including a ttc over 40 thread. Go say hi smile

drinkyourmilk Wed 24-Aug-16 09:25:18

Ugh, forgive me I'm not well in the mornings. Through ivf.

CalmYaTits Wed 24-Aug-16 09:25:18

Absolutely not too old! Go for itsmile

malvinandhobbes Wed 24-Aug-16 09:41:32

42 years old with a sleeping 3 week old on my lap. This sleeping newborn is one of the greatest pleasures of my life.

Pregnancy was harder and recovery has been slower than it was in my 20s. I am so tired. However, we have welcomed this baby with total gratitude and love. The entire family adores her, she never gets put down. The baby is such a gift, and I am happy to extend these mothering years, the kids are the most fun.

feetheart Wed 24-Aug-16 09:50:57

Had my first at 40 and second at 43. They are now 13 and 10 and it's been a brilliant ride so far grin
I seem to have more energy than my friends with similar age children who are all 10 years younger than me, I seem to be happier in myself than quite a few people and haven't given a stuff about all the competitive parenting rubbish.
I am also the oldest child with a 14 year age gap between myself and my little sister . We are the closest of all 4 of us plus I loved having a baby sister to do things with (and I got to see the reality of a having a baby which is possibly why I didn't have my own until later excellent contraception smile)

FrozenAteMyDaughter Wed 24-Aug-16 09:55:34

God no. I had my first at 41. Never regretted it for a second. Still loads of energy.

ifcatscouldtalk Wed 24-Aug-16 10:09:55

If you want another baby that is your choice and plenty do. The only thing that may be a hurdle is a vasectomy reversal (not sure the success rate). Does your partner have the same desire as you and want a baby too?

Missgraeme Wed 24-Aug-16 10:11:15

I had baby 11 at 43. A true blessing!

buttonO Wed 24-Aug-16 13:42:18

I hope not I'm 40 just forums out I'm pregnant with no 5 mine are 21,17,12,2 ! Eldest 3 ex partner youngest with the love of my life ....If it's what you both want then go for it !! Good luck!

Oysterbabe Wed 24-Aug-16 13:47:13

You're not too old but it could be a difficult path, the reversal may not work. Does he have the same burning desire for a child that you do? I'd be surprised if anyone would give a vasectomy to a childless man without being very convinced it was what he wanted.

paddiessmum76 Wed 24-Aug-16 14:01:19

Hi ladies thanks for your wonderful replies. My partner has spoken of having kids together but he's v matter of fact and worries that a reversal wouldn't work and of disappointing me. He's such a sweetheart. I know it'll be £2000 and not guaranteed sad I secretly pray that the tubes grow back lol he had it done when he was 37 which for a childless man I think is too young and he was offered no couselling they just did it with his consent. Knowing that 40 plus is still accepted be a mumzie makes me hopeful. I am so lucky already to be blessed with 3 wonderful children and a man who truly loves me as much as I love him smile if it's meant to be it will be x

lousylear Wed 24-Aug-16 15:18:59

I am with my new partner (my soulmate, we adore each other). I am 41 and have kids ( 12,10,8) from my previous relationship. He is 39 and has no kids. We desperately want 1 or 2 kids together. We are at the end of cycle #1 having had my coil removed 5 weeks ago. Still awaiting AF to appear.

paddiessmum76 Wed 24-Aug-16 16:37:15

Hi Lousylear I'm sure AF will show up shortly. It's nice to know I'm not on my own feeling this way. We just have a vasectomy to get over sad how long have you been with your soulmate? X

lousylear Wed 24-Aug-16 17:05:26

Ha, I'm hoping AF won't show up! 2 days late now, but I think I ovulated late. We've only been together 3 months, yes I know it's not very long but he is the one. We are perfect together. Having left a 13 year marriage where the last 7 years were crap it is amazing. I now smile every day. Oh and we dtd every other day so it won't actually matter if I ovulated late!

lousylear Wed 24-Aug-16 17:06:27

FX for you too paddle.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 24-Aug-16 17:10:32

Def not - I'm 43 and will be almost 44 when 1st baby born

Tho wish I was younger but Mother Nature didn't play ball

Ttc 10yrs and 5th private ivf finally worked

I think if your body is still having periods then not too old

NovemberInDailyFailLand Wed 24-Aug-16 21:57:17

Of course it's not too old! Eat well, stay healthy and enjoy it smile

Kitchenaide Wed 24-Aug-16 22:05:36

Another person who says go for it grin

FlourishingMrs Mon 29-Aug-16 01:20:50

40 and 28 weeks pregnant

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