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Breastfeeding dc2

(11 Posts)
Fairy45 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:19:36

My dc1 would not feed at all. Wouldnt latch on, had jaundice and was passing blood so had to go back to hospital. I was getting really stressed trying to feed her and then a lovely miwife just said that the most important thing was to feed her so i agreed to give her formula.
I have always felt like a bit of a failure for not being able to feed her and now im expecting number 2 im scared that i wont be able to feed this 1. Any advice?

misstweedyweedy Tue 23-Aug-16 22:27:00

This may not help you, but it's my story. Ds wouldn't latch on when he was born, we moved on to formula, due to low blood sugar etc. I bought an electric pump and expressed as much as I could to top up his formula feeds. By around 6 weeks I had had enough with the whole expressing / sterilising bottles rigmarole so as a last resort before quitting the expressing, had a nice quiet day in bed with ds. Did skin to skin and offered him a boob - and he decided to latch on having only had bottles up to then. I was off the formula within a week and he is now 8 months and still bfing.

I suppose what I'm saying is, if you do express ( not easy with a child and a baby, it is time consuming) and keep offering breast / skin to skin, there's a chance they will decide to latch on amd you will have a supply available to build on.

Also, I found the hospital staff were a bit shortsighted in their approach, didn't encourage me to keep trying after discharge. It was at a sure start centre that a community midwife, just exchanging small talk while I was waiting, who suggested skin to skin again and try offering it. I think finding a supportive group, there are peer supporters in some places as well, might help with ideas but also just not to get stressed / down with it all. Maybe ask what is available in your area before baby is born so you know where to go for support.

You never know baby no 2 might latch on happily and it will be an easier ride for you.

Good luck with it smile.

misstweedyweedy Tue 23-Aug-16 22:28:52

Sorry my grammar is shite. Hope you get the gist!

misstweedyweedy Tue 23-Aug-16 22:31:30

Also sorry (I'll shut up soon) you did not fail by giving her formula. I felt like that, and I love bfing but it is more important to have a healthy happy mum and baby than a stressedum and poorly baby. There are no prizes for being the best feeder.

Oly5 Tue 23-Aug-16 22:32:18

I barely fed my first child as it was a nightmare from Start to finish with lots of tears on both sides.
With my second child, he just latched on and it was fairly easy.
I couldn't believe the difference.
Definitely give it a good go the second time, you never know

Fairy45 Tue 23-Aug-16 23:02:16

Thanks both! I definitely wish id bought a pump too thats top of my list this time round!
I hadnt even thought/never told that she could have latched on at a later stage having had bottles.
Thats reassured me massively thank you both smile)

Stevefromstevenage Tue 23-Aug-16 23:08:34

Not remotely a failure. I had a similarly bad start BF my older 2 but went on to BF DC3. I got exceptional BF support from a well regarded lactation consultant and I cannot recommend that enough. DC had a TT which it transpired all of mine had. The advice she was able to give got me through the difficult times and set me up for a TT revision. I would definitely have given up without her so now I always reccommend having really good BF support lined up before the birth. I also ended up pumping dc3 btw so I think misstweedy has given excellent advice on that.

lavenderpekins Tue 23-Aug-16 23:29:44

My first dc wouldn't/couldn't latch on once. Tried and tried and tried. Expressed exclusively for nearly 2 months (which almost killed me!).

Dc2 latched on straightaway before I'd even delivered the placenter! Breastfed till he was 13 months 😄 Great experience!

Dc3 = same!

Expecting dc4 in the autumn and Hiping for similar!

Keep an open mind & good luck!

Fairy45 Wed 24-Aug-16 23:08:58

Ah thank you! This is great to hear and thanks for the advice.
I was with a mum today who was telling me she had combination fed since 5 weeks and he still takes breast as well as he takes bottle so again my mind is at rest if i have to pump.
Its ridiculous that Im stressing about this when I have so much more to worry about haha! But thanks 😃

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 24-Aug-16 23:17:53

DS 1 was combination fed, struggled to BF him had to use shields to get him to latch and also expressed lots, was exhausting! The first time I gave him formula I felt like a failure, you're not alone.

DS 2 is 5 weeks and happily breastfeeding as I type grin

Good luck OP but remember however it turns out you are not a failure!

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 24-Aug-16 23:35:29

DS1 - born at 34 weeks, and would not latch on or try to suckle from a bare breast at all. We had some success with breast shields but my supply kept dipping unless I expressed frequently on top of that. So he ended up being bottle fed on a mix of expressed breastmilk and formula until we started weaning and the expressing just got too much.

DS2 - initial problems with jaundice made him too sleepy to feed, which was identified and treatment with phototherapy started within 48 hours of birth in hospital. He had to have some top up formula cup feeds until my milk came in, but the midwives were very supportive about breastfeeding, and as soon as he started to get over the jaundice, he took to breastfeeding like a duck to water. Only just self weaning now at almost 3 years. Completely different story to DS1.

I'd also second advice about finding out about breastfeeding support groups ahead of time - round here, there's breastfeeding cafe sessions with trained breastfeeding support workers in a few local Sure Starts, and active La Leche League groups in the area, who also offer support via Facebook. Hopefully you won't need them, but if things don't go smoothly, it's useful to know where support's available in advance.

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