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first pregnancy - not coping well

(30 Posts)
Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 13:49:48

Im wondering if someone can help me or give me some advice. Im 23 and first time pregnant. My morning sickness has been terrible and don't seem to have an appetite, I feel like im forcing myself to eat. My back is absolutely killing me and iv got constant dull pain in my hips, im so tired I cant even function when I'm at work - I don't think im coping very well with everything at once, im tying to focus on the good like having a baby at the end, but it seems so long away. im 13 weeks pregnant. Is this normal?

thecatsarecrazy Mon 22-Aug-16 13:52:43

Totally normal. I'm expecting baby number 3 with a 7 year age gap so I kind of forgot how hard it was. I keep reminding my dh its hard work growing a baby.

Whatsername17 Mon 22-Aug-16 13:55:47

It's going to get better soon and quickly. The second trimester is much easier than the first.

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 13:58:03

Thank you for reassuring me. I was worried incase there was something wrong - I feel like all my energy is being sucked out me. Not good, hoping it passes sooner rather than later.

fruityb Mon 22-Aug-16 13:58:10

You will reach the second trimester and feel amazing I can assure you - it's the best time ever.

Third has been hard but I'm coming out the other end now. I'm 40 weeks and feel good now, having had about six weeks of pain with hips and swollen feet and hands. Swelling is still there but now baby has moved down my hips don't hurt at all unless I'm in bed.

It gets better, it's not easy but it's worth it - I'm like a kid at Christmas waiting for baby to arrive!

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 14:04:57

Thank you all for replying. It has definitely made me feel a bit better. We are so excited but I feel like all this sickness and aches and pains are taking the excitement away for me. I'm trying to look forward to our 16 week scan so we can find out the sex - seems to be ticking me over.

fruityb Mon 22-Aug-16 14:06:31

I spent the first 12 weeks freaking exhausted and wondering if I even was pregnant as it just makes you feel ill! I have never known tiredness like it, all I wanted to do was sleep and I am not a napper ever. That's coming back a bit more now but I'm embracing it as I know any day now I will lose that lol.

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 14:16:10

I feel the exact same right now, I just feel not well and as if im putting on weight. Which then makes me upset. I feel sorry for my poor boyfriend. Sometimes (like today) I feel like im not coping at all. and being at work full time is definitely not helping.

EarthboundMisfit Mon 22-Aug-16 14:17:37

If the sickness is very bad, see your GP. There are treatments.

DollyBarton Mon 22-Aug-16 14:19:04

Normal unfortunately. But do talk to your GP to see if they can give you something for the sickness. It is truly awful, you have my sympathy.

Hagothehills Mon 22-Aug-16 14:22:35

As pp have said it's unfortunately normal, you're still in work you're doing great! Growing a baby is exhausting and the first trimester is an absolute killer. All I wanted to do was sleep and cry and take lots of painkillers (but of course pregnant women can take next to nothing). It gets better and before you know it you'll have a beautiful squishy little newborn smile

Marshpillow Mon 22-Aug-16 14:23:40

During my first pregnancy I was waiting for the 2nd trimester "glow" - it never came! I'm sorry to be a massive downer but I just wanted to warn you in case you're one of the unlucky ones like me who don't suddenly feel a million times better. You SHOULD do though, this time around I did feel a lot better once I hit 13 weeks (until the sickness came back a couple of months later!)
Again, I'm not trying to upset you, but I think it's best to know in advance that the 2nd tri doesn't automatically mean you'll feel amazing. flowers

Marshpillow Mon 22-Aug-16 14:24:31

And as a PP said, see your GP if you're feeling awful, they could help.

Blup Mon 22-Aug-16 14:26:25

I remember feeling ill at that stage and worrying something was wrong - but it was fine! I wasn't sick so much as exhausted! It eased up at around 12-14 weeks, as far as I remember, and from then until about 30 weeks I felt great! After that it's tiring and sore again, but not nearly as bad - plus, you feel the baby kicking and that's exciting. Plus, it's obvious you're pregnant by then, so people are a bit more helpful.

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 14:27:31

I have made an appointment to see if I can get something to help with the sickness - its constant, im sick about 7 times day, once before iv even left for work in the morning. My boyfriend keeps saying im doing well but I just feel like im moaning constantly and then crying because im moaning lol, its like a vicious circle. Fingers crossed I get my appetite back soon and don't feel sick at all. I just want to be excited and its hard when I feel soooooooo bad.

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 14:30:34

I would honestly love to know everything good or bad, everyone I have spoke to have said their pregnancy wasn't bad at all, but I think they're just forgetting because they have their babies now. that's why iv been worrying so much.

fruityb Mon 22-Aug-16 14:53:13

I was due yesterday and am fed up beyond belief!! However as someone has said earlier the third trimester isn't the most fun I've ever had, but you are more obviously Pregnant which means people tend to rally round and help a lot more. You sound like you have a supportive other half which is great, mine has been amazing. Since summer hols started (I'm a teacher) he phones at least once while he's at work to check in on me. He's been great round the house and I feel totally happy that he'll be awesome when baby eventually arrives.

I would say at the first sign of any pelvic issues tell your midwife or get physio called. The sooner you can nip that in the bud the better; it knocked me off my feet for a while and really got on my nerves! It's gone now aside from bed time but I know that will go once baby arrives and the weight is out of there.

Cry, moan, complain as much as you like. I have had several rants on here! It's a great experience and I don't think I've been put off doing it again (I haven't given birth yet however!) but it's like nothing you'll ever go through ever!

I was so happy from about 13 to 30 weeks and only lost a little there because of the awful pelvic pain after. The kicks and rolls and movements are incredible and my OH spends a lot of time with his hand on my bump or just gently rubbing it.

I haven't had a bad time with hormones, and other than the water infections (which I had zero symptoms for until they gave me the anti biotics which gave me thrush twice, not fun) it's been plain sailing.

You will feel better and just think you're getting exactly what you wanted at the end smile

Nottalotta Mon 22-Aug-16 14:59:54

I feel for you op. I am on pregnancy two. First was I was exhausted and felt sick all the time til 16 weeks. It was pretty awful. This time, well it's the same except I have a one yr old to look after too. Thinking of seeing Dr as though I am rarely sick, I feel it all the time. Ds is awake at 5-6am and by 8am i wonder how I can get through the day.

I have heard cyclazine (sp?) works well but makes you drowsy. That I can do without!!

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 15:04:59

I feel much better now I put this thread up, you have no idea how much I appreciate all your messages. THANK YOU ALL!! flowers

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 15:08:12

Oh my, I cant imagine feeling the way I do and have a one year old aswell! I have never heard of cyclanzine but if it makes you drowsy I don't think it would work for me as I work full time and trying to work full time right up until the baby is here (wishful thinking). Does anti sickness tablets actually take away nausea?

Nottalotta Mon 22-Aug-16 15:12:40

It's pretty shit to be honest. I work 3 days a week and spend the other days just wanting to lay down and sleep, and feeling like a shit mum. Many wise women on MN assure me a newborn and a toddler are easier than pregnancy and a toddler.......

I think it's called cyclazine, I've seem people on here say it works wonders but I can't imagine how tired I'd feel on it. I'm not sure I could feel more tired than I do!

freetrampolineforall Mon 22-Aug-16 15:13:28

I was hospitalised with hyperemesis - think Kate Middleton only less glam - anti nausea tablets as prescribed by GP or consultant do work. Water made me sick!
Speak to a gp and don't get dehydrated even if eating is a problem.

Clgx Mon 22-Aug-16 15:20:40

I feel the same, I have an hour left of work today and im struggling to stay awake. I could sleep from when I get home until I need to wake up for work again. its a struggle. I have made an app for the GP to see about getting anti sickness tablets. I try to stay hydrated. iv been drinking a lot of fruit juices because iv not been eating much. I just cant wait until this feeling has gone and I can eat a full meal instead of picking at it then most of it going in the bin.

ElspethFlashman Mon 22-Aug-16 15:24:46

I remember once during the first trimester doing the washing up and having to stop halfway and collapse on the sofa!

Nobody tells you about the exhaustion. Nobody!

ElspethFlashman Mon 22-Aug-16 15:26:03

Oh and all I ate was Haribo and full fat coke for the first four months.

No regrets. You just have to get through it. Baby was a belter, regardless!

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