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2nd pregnancy, to trim ate or not :(

(4 Posts)
BeckyGherkin1991 Mon 22-Aug-16 12:19:08

Hey hope anyone can shed some light as my doctor has let me down massively, I have a 13 month old baby boy and I love him more than life but I've found out I'm pregnant again and I have no idea what to do, my every thought is always towards terminating but from dates I think I'm about 6-8 weeks and it's getting harder n harder and soon I'll have no choice. Since having my first I've had horrific health anxiety and when I asked my doctor if this pregnancy would effect it any worse he said it 100% would and to consider termination.. Which I'm sure he's not allowed to suggest but there ya go.. And tbh I HATED being pregnant with a passion, I wouldn't change my boy for the world but this just isn't on my list of things right now but the thought of terminating is really hard cause I look at my lad and think I nearly got rid of him and how it would have been the worst mistake of my life, but at the same time I don't know if I can mentally take 2 kids, one is hard enough and if I need a nap or 5 minutes to myself I can have that but with 2 I just wouldn't, and what if my boy felt pushed aside or replaced or something?! I feel like my choice to terminate is more out of my own selfishness which is making the overall choice even harder :'( can anyone suggest anything? x

ImYourMama Mon 22-Aug-16 12:24:51

Having 2 children is perfectly reasonable and your little boy would probably adore a sibling. But equally you have to do what's right for you in the long term. Pregnancy is a temporary state and its after that you need to consider. Just do what's right for you flowers

DesignedForLife Mon 22-Aug-16 15:03:58

it sounds like you could really do with talking through your options ASAP with someone who can help you make the right decision for you. Are you currently seeing a counsellor or therapist? If so then they could be a good place to start. If not could you ask your surgery for recommendations who to talk to? If not I know there are free counselling centres around the country, if you google Pregnancy Crisis and your area you might find something, but obviously I can't personally recommend unless you're in my area!

You might find the second much easier, and your son might love having a playmate! Though of course it's natural to worry how they would get along.

Becciilouisex3 Mon 22-Aug-16 15:15:12

To be honest, the doctor shouldn't have told you it would 100% make your anxiety worse because although it can and it is likely, it isn't a certainty!

I had anxiety before getting pregnant and have struggled with it whilst carrying and I can honestly say I have had some horrendous periods be they days or weeks. However, pregnancy doesn't necessarily make anxiety unbeatable as I am striving towards getting better everyday and have made positive steps. There's always the chance of going backwards of course but that stands the chance of happening pregnant or not!

The truth is, anxiety is a horrible demon that no one can understand if they've never suffered and only you know what you can deal with. The thought of it getting bad is terrifying I know. You need to make the decision that you feel is in the best interest of yourself and your mental wellbeing whatever that decision is. All I can suggest is talking to anyone, a partner or family member who you can talk all of your feelings out with and try to come up with what would be the least painful thing for you, and the best thing for you.

Good luck flowers

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