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No sex

(16 Posts)
Dlah Mon 22-Aug-16 07:02:03

So at nearly 31 weeks, my sex drive seemed to reappear this week, it's been over a month since last time and early on my OH said he didn't mind/didn't want to add any pressure so was just happy going with the flow.

Well a few days ago and last night I came onto him . . To be told he was 'tired', first time ok I can probably give him that but last night knew something wasn't right, so I called him out on it. He's basically then admitted he's slightly weirded out by fact baby is now 'fully formed' and I think the fact he's felt her kick so much lately.

I can kinda understand from his perspective and heck it's rare I seem to have any mood for it but I still found myself a bit tearful last night thinking it's going to be 5-6 months now, waiting for birth and recovery after. Think I'm now scared of loosing some of the closeness that comes with sex (and possibly the last opportunity to use it before my vagina changes for life maybe grinconfused lol)

Anyone else experienced same with OH? Do you feel distant? Or maybe those who've been through it, did your sex life recover after birth?

Whatsername17 Mon 22-Aug-16 08:08:34

My dh was the same when I was pregnant with dd. We had lots of sex during the second trimester but then he got scared and freaked out. He thought the baby might grab his wits it. hmm

MyBreadIsEggy Mon 22-Aug-16 08:16:48

When I was pregnant with Dd, DH couldn't keep me off him blush through the whole pregnancy we were having lots of sex - my waters broke straight afterwards at 38 weeks! He did say it took quite a lot of effort to put the baby to the back of his mind and just "get on with it" though hmm
I'm 30 weeks tomorrow with DC2, and can count on one hand the amount of times we've DTD in this pregnancy. It's not that DH is freaked out by it, he would be over the moon that I was up for it I think! I just have absolutely no sex drive whatsoever sad I'm hoping it's just my hormones causing it and we will be back to normal after the baby is born. We were having sex again 5 weeks after Dd was born blush

Whatsername17 Mon 22-Aug-16 08:26:27

Wotsit^

Whatsername17 Mon 22-Aug-16 08:28:47

Also, don't worry too much about your vagina changing. Mine didn't. Pelvic floor exercises are great!

Nottalotta Mon 22-Aug-16 08:33:48

My husband wasn't really pit off but we did things a bit differently. Also, there are other options that PIV......

Nottalotta Mon 22-Aug-16 08:34:00

Than, not that.

Dlah Mon 22-Aug-16 08:45:00

Well when we spoke last night I said that about other stuff, and he looked hesitant still so I've told him he needs to have a think and let me know what he's comfortable with

LynseyH Mon 22-Aug-16 10:15:33

I wouldn't worry about it being that long after birth, it'll be a few weeks (if your up for it). I was pregnant with my 3rd child 5 weeks after having my 2nd!

Chinks123 Mon 22-Aug-16 10:27:39

We continued to have a very active sex life throughout pregnancy and up till my due date (which actually caused me to go into labour blush) because we both still wanted to. I do know couples who found it too weird though so everyone's different. Depending on how the birth goes you'd be surprised at how fast you can get your sex life back on track. I tried too soon though and it was very painful so waited a few more weeks and it was all back to normal..ish grin I still felt very close to DP after birth though without sex, laying and cuddling DD etc

Trifleorbust Mon 22-Aug-16 11:03:49

Not everyone feels comfortable with sex during later stages of pregnancy, sadly 😪

Have lots of cuddles anyway!

ImYourMama Mon 22-Aug-16 11:11:06

We're not doing PIV but plenty of hands and toys, and loads of cuddling and kissing during and afterwards. Pregnancy orgasms are amazing!

Somerville Mon 22-Aug-16 11:14:26

It pissed me off when my DH reacted like this when I was pg with our eldest. I felt like he just didn't fancy me anymore. He kept assuring me that he did, but was nervous. But his feelings flew in the face of reason, which seemed stupid.

So I got my midwife to reassure him. In fact, she told him that PIV would be safe, but that if he wasn't up for it he should at least give me orgasms as it would be good for my pelvic floor muscles and might lead to a shorter labour. (Don't know if she was exaggerating about that - she clearly felt sorry for me being desperate enough to ask her!)

Turned out he did still fancy me so all was fine. smile

Darcychu Tue 23-Aug-16 13:34:33

to be fair, if i was a man i wouldnt be easily up for it either XD haha i dont know, something about it would kind of creep me out.

funnily enough i wouldnt mind being the one pregnant and having sex :S

user1467983757 Tue 23-Aug-16 15:23:47

My hubby was fully off it once baby hot active. I was off it early on... typical lol

Saku Tue 23-Aug-16 22:57:53

last pregnancy and second pregnancy..... my sex drive just go bury itself... until baby was breastfed ..pity on DH..

he will be very happy if I get in any mood .. grin

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