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When did you start buying 'stuff'

(22 Posts)
elmo1980 Fri 12-Aug-16 14:56:46

I'm 16wks pregnant and for some reason I have no desire to even look at baby stuff (including clothing, buggies, cots etc) let alone think about what I'll need.

My mum's bought me some small things already and I've just shoved them in a cupboard out of sight.

When I tell people this, they look at me like there's something wrong with me! I've been wanting to be pregnant for years but for some reason I can't get excited or even accept that it's finally happening. I've convinced myself it's far too early to buy things and anything could go wrong at any time so best leave it to the last minute.

Anyone else like this??!

Lilaclily Fri 12-Aug-16 14:58:53

I was the same

I think I waited until after the 20 week scan

Pearlman Fri 12-Aug-16 15:15:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usernoidea Fri 12-Aug-16 15:20:04

I was totally like you. Felt guilty for not getting excited
Prob around late 20s weeks as I realised how stressed it was making my partner and how it looked to him (me not being excited made him really worry)
I'm 37 weeks now got pretty much everything now . Good luck with everything x

Tumtitum Fri 12-Aug-16 15:22:15

I didn't buy anything until the last minute! Not for any particular reason. I ended up panic buying most stuff once I'd started mat leave and getting so confused and overwhelmed I bought a load of useless stuff confused

Frrraaann Fri 12-Aug-16 15:24:35

There's honestly no rush. Some people go mad and have everything done early on and then spend six months twiddling their thumbs.

My DC was premature - we didn't have anything sorted. Wasn't an issue.

Frrraaann Fri 12-Aug-16 15:27:42

Some people get everything done really early on and then spend six months twiddling their thumbs.

My DC was premature and we didn't have anything at all. It wasn't a problem at all. You can buy everything you need for a baby in no time, if that's the way you want to do it smile

BibbidiBobbidi Fri 12-Aug-16 15:38:44

I was the same.

I just wasn't interested. I hated going to the baby shops and hated when people brought me stuff.

I brought all of my essentials on line when I was in my final trimester and everything else was either given as gifts or brought after the birth.

I did have a lot of complications though and didn't want a house full of baby stuff that I may have had to return.

There's nothing wrong with waiting, you'll get it when you're ready.

Congratulations flowers

Pearlman Fri 12-Aug-16 16:07:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elmo1980 Fri 12-Aug-16 16:26:28

Thanks all, I feel very reassured and less like I'm going to be a neglectful mother! x

Bellabelloo Fri 12-Aug-16 16:33:03

I am just under 16 weeks and am waiting at least until the 20 week scan. As I am older and most of my friends have kids, I have been aware of so many late miscarriages etc and think having lots of lovely things for a baby you never got to bring home would be heartbreaking....

Bee182814 Fri 12-Aug-16 16:41:47

Aw OP I think there's plenty of time for that still. If it makes you feel any better, I have a friend who is having a 'high risk' pregnancy (in inverted commas as there's absolutely no high risk whatsoever but you know, making a mountain out of a molehill) who started doing 'bump' pics from about 10 weeks and posting online (obviously no bump @10 weeks) announced pregnancy to the world and his dog when they found out at 7 weeks and started buying things immediately. It irritates the pants off of me! I find your attitude refreshing. It's not about the stuff anyway, they need relatively very little. I'm due DC2 any day now and really didn't buy much and certainly nothing before the 20 weeks mark.... I think it's fine not to be rushing it. Put your feet up with a brew instead!

DrWhy Fri 12-Aug-16 16:53:47

Very like you OP, no interest or desire to buy anything for ages, even nicely asked my family not to buy me anything until after the 20 week scan.
Once I started to seriously feel the baby and have midwife appointments where she could tell me 'oh, baby's bum is up here and that's his head' etc the baby started to feel real and I got keener to buy stuff but honestly it's only been since about 32 weeks that I had any interest really in buying things - prior to that I just worked through a list I was given by a friend. I'm 36 weeks now and still need to finish off my hospital bag!

Thurlow Fri 12-Aug-16 17:00:49

29 weeks now. I work f/t and have a 4yo and a shift-working OH.

My room for even beginning to think about what I need to get for the baby is slim to tiny, poor thing. Sod it, he has a name so at least we're not being entirely neglectful....

ButtMuncher Fri 12-Aug-16 17:02:41

Don't worry - I was the same and still am to an extent (am 33w). We've done most of our shopping only as most of it was bought online. Up until recently I was working 40 hour weeks with a 2 hour round trip so being ahead of the game was kind of necessary as weekends were dominated by sleep and we had DPs son over.

I still can't really accept I'm going to be a mum - I keep lapsing into anxious moments of fearing I'll lose my little boy, so for me, I've bought a lot of stuff but it's sort of just placed in his room.

I've been told it's really really common to feel this way, so I'll go with that grin congratulations flowers

tutulove1 Fri 12-Aug-16 17:11:27

Save it till your maternity leave, it really perks you up near the end and gives you something to look forward too. Why buy stuff early and leave it to gather dust was my mentality. Also, I bought barely any clothes for them until they were born, even then with all the presents we didn't have to buy much. IMO it's so much more fun shopping for them when they are here in the flesh and you can see what they look like. I was determined if I had a little girl she wouldn't be in pink, she arrived and pink is eh colour that suits her the most, thank goodness I didn't buy a wardrobe full of navy blue stuff which Id envisaged her in, Navy doesn't suit her at all smile

BettyOBarley Fri 12-Aug-16 17:11:44

After 20 week scan

LillianFullStop Fri 12-Aug-16 17:19:04

I got given things from 23w but we didn't buy anything ourselves until month 7 (28w). I didn't really even look or scope things out until after 20w scan.

elmo1980 Fri 12-Aug-16 19:06:21

So good to hear all this. Good point about how difficult it is to find the time to do it all when working f/t and for those with other children (don't know how you do it).

I've got a friend who's 3 weeks behind me and she's bought everything and is constantly posting photos of the non existent bump. I can't help but be a little envious at her excitement but it is difficult if you're naturally cautious. I also had a miscarriage last year so know only too well how crap you feel, what a failure etc.

Anyway, I'm rambling but just glad to know there's others out there. X

Bellabelloo Fri 12-Aug-16 19:20:13

Bless you. That makes it very understandable. I'm not allowing myself to get excited either, so am envious of those who are naturally super excited. One friend announced it today on Facebook at 9 weeks. I am 15 and a half and we only told our families this week and haven't told any friends yet!! Would love to be a bit more relaxed and excited, but guess it's self-preservation.

Vap0 Fri 12-Aug-16 23:16:09

Don't feel bad at all, I'm 37 weeks on Tuesday and have only just started buying things. I also haven't packed my hospital bag yet. It's so hard after mc to get excited and I kept thinking I'd jinx things if I bought anything so have held off as long as possible. Best of luck with your pregnancy and don't compare yourself to others flowers

Bubbinsmakesthree Sat 13-Aug-16 09:50:50

I didn't buy anything for ages - I had various complications and generally found it difficult to really get excited.

I never really went overboard on 'stuff' but I did get an urge to nest towards the end which had me doing crazy stuff like painting the kitchen in the middle of the night and trying to heave around huge amounts of flat-pack furniture in IKEA single-handed so that DS would have a nice nursery (despite the fact I knew he wouldn't be sleeping in it until he was at least 6 months old).

(Incidentally I have been a totally smitten parent since the moment DS popped out - lack of pregnancy excitement means nothing!)

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