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When's The Best Time To Get Pregnant Again?(23 Posts)
My baby is 4 months old and I'm thinking of TTC again next summer (2008), so Kai will be about 2 or 3 when the next one would come along.
But out of interest, I wanted to know did your second or subsequent pregnancies come along?
Or if youre still on your first, when or if you will start trying for baby number 2?
Or and when do you think is the best time to try for number 2 or and subsequence pregnancies?
To get things started, some people have told me its best to get all the sleepless nights out of the way and have all the babies close together. Whilst others have said get the first one out of nappies first or wait until they can dress themselves.
All comments appreciated. Thanks!
Hi Im havin the same problems!
I really would like to have another baby, I came out the hospital sayin I'd have another 1 tomorrow!! (Was a good labour! )
Havin spoken to my DP I am now waitin till my DS is now a year (Aug) before we start tryin again as I would like him to be just before the terrible twos (or Im hopin!)
But then I think again and prob would spend the next two years havin sleepless nights!
So here is the answer (I hope)....if it happens it happens!!! LOL
Hope that helps as we are def in the same boat!!
Hello, My ds was 2yrs7mth when my dd was born. It was a nice age gap in my opinion, he was out of nappies (so much easier) he was talking well and able to help alot. Walking most places so didn't need a double buggy either, coped with a boogy board for the first few months for long walking trips. I was lucky I think and had no incidents of him being jealous. It was a great gap for me.
HOWEVER! I am now 25 weeks pg with no.3. Dd will only be 21mths when this one arrives, I am already worrying about it. Have had to buy a double buggy, the thought of two in nappies, eekkkkkkkk, tantrums, jealousy, she is still a baby really to me and I'm adding another one in there. I'm worried she's at a funny age to understand.
What you decide will be right for you though I'm sure.
This is how my reasoning has gone:
I'm nearly 32 weeks pg with our first.
We have a two bedroomed house so at some point, with two children (and I'd really like three but we'd have to see!) we'd either have to move, or get a loft extension, as one day they'll want separate rooms.
And we couldn't afford to do that unless we're both working full time. And while the children are young, I'll be looking to work part time.
So my logic is to have two close together, so that financially we'll take a big hit but it'll be all at once over the space of a few years. If that makes sense.
(Having said that, I say all the above but I don't have practical experience yet of what it's going to be like with a baby. Who knows, I could want to have absolutely loads, or it could put me off having any more for life!)
I'll certainly be lurking to see what everyone else thinks!!!
I had 2 yrs 4 months between my two dd's - it was the perfect gap. dd1 old enough to understand that a baby was coming, could 'help' ie. pass wipes/nappies. I also got her out of her buggy before the baby came, although I know not everyone manages this. They are now 7 & 5 and great friends. I noticed that the friends I had with an 18 month gap struggled the most with sibling rivalry, which was very hard can't leave the baby in the room with toddler even to nip to the loo etc.
I also then had an 11 month gap between dd2 and ds - not one I'd recommend, but it did actually have lots of advantages and they are all three huge mates.
2 year gap exactly between DS & DD1 - found it really hard but that could just be the jump from one DC to two.
Nearly 3 year gap between DD1 & DD2 and I'm finding it easier, even though DD2 is only 9 weeks old. DS is nearly 5 and at school, DD1 nearly 3 and IMO there's a massive difference between a 2 year old and a 3 year old.
My friend had 3 DCs in 3 years and is only just starting to feel on top of things now the youngest is 2.5.
DS was 8mths when we started TTc no.2. Wanted a small ish age gap but I got pg when he was 12mths but had a mc not found until I was 15wks. So then ended up having another 3mths on top of that before I got pg with DD1. There is a 2.2yr age gap between them which was a great gap as ds was very helpful etc. I now have DD2 and there is a 12mth gap between her and dd1 and 3.2yrs from eldest to youngest. Ds is super helpful now and loves his sisters, however his friend who is middle child has got a new sister couple of weeks older than dd2 and he hates it.I think the bonus with DS is he was too young to remember a time when it was just him.
glassofwine just realised you have very similair gaps to me.
I have 4 dds, dd1 is 13 and sd to dds.
dd 3 was just 2 when had dd3 and then 2yr 4 m gap to dd4 who was not planned but it is great
dd3 loves being a big sister and a little sister to dd2 iywim
happy that they ae relatively close together but will not be going back to work for a while.
the thing is you may choose an "ideal" gap but you body may not co-operate. I conceived first time of trying with number one and so thought number 2 would be plain sailing. It took over a year a miscarriage and fertility investigations and clomid to get pregnant again. for every very family of close age siblings that get on there is another who doesn't. My sibling and I have a 5 year age gap and are very close a freind said she would never want that cos thinks the same age gap made it impossible for he and sibling to be friends. everyone is so individual that there is no "best time". Just think, do you want a double buggy (my idea of hell!)
When you're ready to potty-train the toddler. That way, when you're rushing to the loo every 45 minutes throughout early pg, you can just take the toddler with you.
I'd have huge gaps between mine if I waited for them to sleep through before I got pg again. We were up every hour last night - they took it in turns to be up - and they're 4.5 and 23 months. And it takes 9 months to grow a baby - dd couldn't dress herself when I got pg but could by the time ds was born. But I didn't know that she would be able to.
I think, start when you get broody and see what happens. You don't know how long it will take, or what your older child will be like 9 months later, or what the new baby will be like. There are too many unknowns.
i was pregant when dd was 13/14mths.
she was 22mths when ds was born.
delighted i did them close (but not too close)like that.
Sometimes you don't get a choice! I would have preferred to have the second after 3 years max, but it took 6 years to get there the end!
We tried to look at it mainly from our dd's (who is currently 16 months) point of view. She loves playing with other children, already goes to a creche 5 hrs a week, she is kind and considerate towards babies therefore were certain that it will be a real treat for her to have a little baby sister or brother when she is just 22 months. With regard to dp and I, it suits us really well as we wanted to get the baby period out of the way in our early thirties, after which we can finally start planning the more distant future, advancing our careers, going on nice family holidays, etc.
On the other hand, I already have a few friends with kids of similar age gaps and some of them find it really hard coping with two small kids. However, they are mostly the ones whose first child is a real loner, who doesn't particularly like the company of other children in any shape or form.
What I'm trying to say is that, in my opinion, a lot depends on your firstborn's character. You should always go with what theyre like as they might need you to themselves for a little longer than you had anticipated.
Great answers ladies, some funny and some heart felt. Thanks!! :-)
Well I got my first AF since conceiving and giving birth to my first (sorry TMI). So things could happen at any time (provided I put down the stick and let DH come near me)LOL
my three are 4yrs and 8 months apart in total - suprisingly dh and I managed to get 2yrs 4 months between dd1 and dd2 and between dd2 and no3 due in 4 weeks.
However with dd2- we thought being 'older' it might take us a while - we were in the process of moving to Aus- so started early. I got pregnant first time. This time around it took us 7 months. So best laid plans and all that.... sometimes trying cause you think it will take a while and it happens straight off and then trying thinking it won't take long and it took longer than expected.
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