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New baby and toddler

(12 Posts)
Youhaveupdates1 Tue 26-Jul-16 08:32:07

I am booked in for an elcs on the 9th Aug with my ds2 and I have my ds1 who is 2.5 and just wondered how to help ds1 adjust to the new baby being here!
People have suggested getting him a gift from the baby, has anyone done this and does it help?
When home how do we deal with any jealousy which will may arise?
Because of my section my dp is home for one week and then my mum is moving in for one week to help so there will be people around me to help and be with ds1 so he isn't left feeling left out.
I have been feeling a little anxious about upsetting the bedtime routine we have finally been able to our ds1 into too as up until 3/4 months ago he never slept through the night, I also feel scared about how ds1 will deal with it.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom at all?

DartmoorDoughnut Tue 26-Jul-16 08:34:24

Could you maybe get him a doll? Think my parents did this with me when my brother arrived and know others still do it!

But I'm watching as will be in the same situation in December!

Youhaveupdates1 Tue 26-Jul-16 08:52:42

Really!? I hadn't thought about that! He does play with a doll occasionally at his cousins house but never seems very interested.
Sorry if this is a stupid question but how is it supposed to help him? Distraction or getting used to have something small around??

Blueberryblueberry Tue 26-Jul-16 08:57:06

Lots and f talking about the baby before he arrives. Things you/he'll do with the baby. Keeping him involved. The pirate Pete big brother book is great to read. Give him lots of jobs, getting the nappy, helping out etc.

Laura05 Tue 26-Jul-16 08:57:07

My DD was 3 when DS arrived. I'd taken her to scans and a few midwife appointments so she was included. She also helped buy for her baby. Her brother "bought" her a gift which she loved.

She actually surprised me with how well she adjusted! She was eager to help where she could (getting nappies, wipes, choosing what clothes to put on him etc) and she still kept to her bedtime routine etc (she can sleep through a bomb going off so no worries of her waking during the night lol)

You may find that your DS is absolutely fine and settles in quick with the new arrival flowers

Blueberryblueberry Tue 26-Jul-16 09:00:25

If you're going to breastfeed look for books with breastfeeding in and talk about this to prepare him. My lo looked at the leaflets from the midwife about breastfeeding lol! Stickers and sticker books for when feeding/occupied with baby. And a little gift is a great idea

Missgraeme Tue 26-Jul-16 09:08:33

I think the most important thing is to let them 'help' my ages range from 14 months between to a 6year gap (11kids) they all helped with the bathing (mmm and messy!) helping put the nappy under (lots of screaming and laughing at the smelly ones- let's them know babies aren't perfect - they do stink!) let them know being a big bro /sis is better than being a baby! Let them stay up even a few mins more at bedtime - perks of being the oldest!! Bf became dvd /book and snack time - positive time for being the oldest!! Never had any jealousy or baby rejection!

DartmoorDoughnut Tue 26-Jul-16 10:14:36

I think essentially you use the doll to show what you'll be doing with the baby as said above, also I remember changing the doll's nappy when my mummy was changing my brother's etc

Youhaveupdates1 Tue 26-Jul-16 10:19:42

Not intending on breast feeding this time round, so at least the baby won't be permanently attached to me!
Nice to hear some positive comments about how your dc coped. Will buy a little gift for ds - when and how is this given??

Sticker books are a great idea to keep him occupied thanks for that!

He does seem to love helping out now if we ask him to get bits and pieces so will definitely continue that on when baby arrives, him helping to pick what baby is going to wear is also a great idea and one I hadn't thought about.

I have brought a couple of bits for the baby and ds thinks they are his, I have tried to explain that they belong to his new baby brother but I am not sure the understanding is there quite yet, he isn't very vocal just yet so I don't know whether this affects how much he understands of what I am saying.

MrsZumbaDancer Tue 26-Jul-16 10:40:37

I'm due 15th August too with dc2 and have a dc1 who is 2.5. He reallybwantsbsine transformers rescue bits so we've said baby may buy him one one he/she arrives.

We be talked about his being a big brother and helping me with baby.

I have no idea how he'll deal with it either!

Sanch1 Tue 26-Jul-16 11:26:19

We bought DD1 a present from DD2. I also asked if peoe were bringing gifts for baby could they give them to me discreetly away from DD1 or get a token something like a kinder egg for her. I just make sure I'm not always saying DD2 this and that and include DD1 whenever i can. She's taken to it all really well.

Youhaveupdates1 Tue 26-Jul-16 22:04:34

It's very nerve wracking wondering how he will take to it but only time will tell!
It's a good idea to remove any gifts discreetly before ds1 sees them and open them when he is not around!

Thanks for all your ideas and comments grin

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