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2nd Pregnancy cant get excited

(11 Posts)
Butterpuff Thu 21-Jul-16 11:24:42

Any one else find that at the beginning of their first pregnancy they start to wonder why on earth they are doing it all again?

I love my pfb and have always wanted a second. We decided it was time. I'm around 5-6 weeks now and the MS or in my case all day severe nausea has just started. Its brought back into focus just how much I hated the first trimester and that hideous relentless nausea. I cant bare the thought of another couple of months or more of this. I wasn't sick often with DC1 but I struggled to eat and lost well over a stone in the first three months. I'm just not excited. I don't want to say I'm regretting our decision because I do want my second child. I'm just regretting how we have to get him or her.

Am I alone or is this more common than I fear.

EvansAndThePrince Thu 21-Jul-16 11:30:03

I'm 13 weeks with my second, my PFB is 15mo, until about an hour after the 12 week scan I felt completely indifferent, and sometimes downright panicky about it all. You might feel better after the scan, for me it just clicked after that and I realised that our family would be complete like we had planned.

Butterpuff Thu 21-Jul-16 11:35:59

Thanks Evans I know I just have to hang in there. Phoned the local Midwife team today so will hopefully get my booking appointment and scan date soon. Which should be exciting. They seem a long way away.

I'm glad your excited now. smile

SeashellHoarder Thu 21-Jul-16 12:05:49

It's just not that exciting three second time round, don't worry this is normal.

2 things will make this feel much better for you and they are coming soon!

First is 14 weeks, the majority of morning sickness ends

Second is you'll be able to tell dc1 (perhaps after 12 weeks scan) and you'll see the pregnancy through their eyes and see the excitement of it all fresh.

Just get through it for now and please see your gp about medication, this was a godsend to me and I wish I'd done it at 6 weeks not held on till 8 weeks

f1ddlesticks Thu 21-Jul-16 17:37:21

I loved being pregnant first time round, was really looking forward to experiencing it again... 21 weeks into second pregnancy & I'm fucking shattered, in tears because I haven't the energy to get through the days, feeling generally shit, ugh! This time I can't wait for baby to arrive despite the exhaustion that will bring. I definitely don't regret it but wholeheartedly agree the means to the end isn't the most fun second time around! I guess I am excited but it's bloody hard work and there's nothing wrong with feeling out of sorts about it flowers

Butterpuff Thu 21-Jul-16 20:57:02

Thank you seashell I'm looking forward to seeing DC1(only 15 months nowq) with baby, but I'm not sure she will understand until it arrives, or at least later in pregnancy.

Sorry your suffering too f1ddle I thought it would get better after the first trimester. I loved the 2nd and 3rd too. I guess it's just going to be harder all round.

KateTheShrew Thu 21-Jul-16 21:04:51

You're definitely not alone! I think this must be quite common the second (or third, or fourth...) time. Plus, it's almost impossible to get excited when you feel so sick. And of course it's harder this time because you have a child to look after while you're feeling crap. I'm currently just over 7 weeks with DC2, and I'm also miserable and nauseous. I knew it might be like this, and I definitely want another child, but it's one thing to think about it in the abstract and completely another to be at the beginning of what could well be well over a month of feeling like poo.

I think what you say about wanting the child but regretting the process you have to go through to get them is spot on -- that's exactly how I feel. But I keep reminding myself that this is the way it's got to be, and that in the scheme of things it's short time in my life even if it feels bloody endless and hopefully the reward will be amazing.

Also I second what Seashell says about medication. Do see your GP if the nausea is really debilitating.

flowers for you. I hope you feel better soon.

Christine88 Thu 21-Jul-16 21:09:19

I had this, took us over a year to fall pregnant with ds1 so when we decided to start trying again I thought I had a year to plan etc fell pregnant the next month and I was more shocked and scared than happy. My ds2 is here now and although it's manic with a potty training 2 and a half year old and a 5 week old I'm excited to see their bond grow and happy that they are so close in age! Exhausted but happy! Everything happens for a reason!

milpool Thu 21-Jul-16 21:14:36

I've been struggling too. I'm 12 weeks with my second. DD is nearly 14mo.

It was a complete shock, not planned, terrible timing really. I am starting to come round to the idea but now that we've started telling people I feel like a fraud every time someone congratulates me.

I have another scan on Tuesday (was too early for nuchal test) so hopefully things will start to become clearer then.

PickledLilly Thu 21-Jul-16 21:19:16

I think it's very common in second pregnancies, it's just not as exciting as first time and you're absolutely bloody knackered trying to look after a toddler as well as being pregnant. I'm 32 weeks with my second and there is no way I've given the same amount of thought and time to this baby. I just haven't got time, I'm sure it will be fine once the baby is here!

BettyOBarley Fri 22-Jul-16 19:51:25

I'm 32 weeks with my 2nd and can't honestly say I've felt any feelings of excitement yet blush I haven't got enough time to stop and think about it!

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