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Aren't baby showers just a bit grabby?

(59 Posts)
EyeRollChampion Tue 19-Jul-16 19:58:30

I'm pregnant with my 4th child after a long gap (10 years and my eldest is 16) and I have never had a baby shower.

Now it seems everyone is having them, and I have friends nagging for a date. I'm sure this never used to be the case?

Anyway, I don't know if I want one or not... I like cake but not really a fan of attention, and... well, aren't they just a bit grabby? :|

honeysucklejasmine Tue 19-Jul-16 19:59:47

Well that depends. Are you grabby? Or is it just a nice excuse to see your friends and eat cake?

Floggingmolly Tue 19-Jul-16 20:01:34

Yes, they are. And generally for first babies, I'd have thought?

WellErrr Tue 19-Jul-16 20:02:12

Yes they are.

turquoise88 Tue 19-Jul-16 20:03:36

The word 'grabby' drives me nuts!

I personally think their harmless fun and a nice way to get together and enjoy yourself before the baby comes. Others think they are OTT.

Look, the way I see it, people are likely to buy gifts for your baby, be that before he or she is born, or after.

Before long, even getting birthday presents will be considered 'grabby.' hmm

turquoise88 Tue 19-Jul-16 20:04:10

Sorry, that was 'they're' blush

Highlove Tue 19-Jul-16 20:06:36

Definitely grabby and a bit self-obsessed. Your instincts are right.

FrizzyNoodles Tue 19-Jul-16 20:07:39

If your friends would like you to have one, why not say bring a dish to the party rather than presemts and just have a lovely girly pre baby afternoon with nice food, cake and games. I had a shower but it was arranged for me and it was lovely.

EyeRollChampion Tue 19-Jul-16 20:18:43

Frizzy, that's actually a pretty nice idea. Maybe I'll think about it. Still not sure I'd like the attention though. And not really seeing the point, either.

"Come and celebrate something that isn't happening for months. Oh, and NO BOOZE."

But, as I mentioned, I do like cake.

turquoise88 Tue 19-Jul-16 20:20:18

Definitely grabby and a bit self-obsessed. Your instincts are right.

How is it self-obsessed if others have organised a baby shower for you?

What about birthday parties? Are you self-obsessed if you organise a little celebration and people bring you gifts?

I get that some baby showers may be a bit over the top. But not everyone that has them is only interested in themselves and material things! hmm

EyeRollChampion Tue 19-Jul-16 20:20:24

This is a new fad, right? Is it an American thing?

FrizzyNoodles Tue 19-Jul-16 20:39:27

Eye roll you won't feel grabby if it's your closest mates eating cake and drinking mocktails with you.
It is quite a recent thing I think - to be honest I myself prefer to buy presents for babies that are already born but I had a lovely shower that I bought cakes for and we had a really nice afternoon.

Daytona79 Tue 19-Jul-16 20:49:17

They are tacky I think

Daytona79 Tue 19-Jul-16 20:50:14

Posted to soon

I also think they are chancing luck. I don't think you should celebrate a baby untill it's been born safely

Farfromtheusual Tue 19-Jul-16 20:51:00

I always thought baby showers were 1) american, 2) for first baby and 3) arranged by a close friend or family member.

I know people who have arranged their own which does come across as a bit "grabby" and just an excuse to show off on Facebook hmm

My sister wanted to organise one for me but I told her not to as I didn't see the point. I've got enough stuff for the baby already, I've caught up with friends I've wanted to see and I know they will come round when the baby is here.

waceystills Tue 19-Jul-16 20:53:32

I also think they are tacky.

mallorcanmummy Tue 19-Jul-16 20:56:29

I didn't have one as most of my friends where I live are from a different culture where they don't usually do it, but if I'd been in the UK, I'm sure my friends there would have organised one for me, and I would organise one for a friend with pleasure. I wouldn't organise one for myself though.

honeysucklejasmine Tue 19-Jul-16 21:16:38

I do dislike the unpleasant undercurrent on MN when something is accused of being American. I don't see any other activities constantly referred to by their country of origin, let alone in an implied derogatory manner.

EyeRollChampion Tue 19-Jul-16 21:46:21

Frizzy, that's fair enough. Just don't think it's for me.

Farfrom, if that's the case then that's perfect as it well and truly lets me off the hook! Also I hate it when people post photos of me on fb. I'm not on there for a reason.

Honey, I hate that too and that wasn't how it was meant. I just wondered where it had come from all of a sudden.

Flippertygib Tue 19-Jul-16 21:48:41

I don't like them at all. Prefer to give a present for the baby once it's born.

EyeRollChampion Tue 19-Jul-16 21:50:39

Oh and Daytona the thought of tempting fate had also crossed my mind. I'm not at all superstitious but it's never wise to count your chickens. And my last pregnancy ended in miscarriage so although I'm well into the 2nd trimester I won't feel assured until I'm holding this baby in my arms!

MrsJoJo Tue 19-Jul-16 22:14:28

Personally don't like them and never have! I also never put in for collections at work when someone goes on maternity leave and don't want a collection sent round for me either - my SIL had a stillbirth at term so I celebrate, give gifts and congratulate after baby is safely here.

I know this is an extreme position but it was heartbreaking enough and then I kept finding things my mum & dad had stashed for their grandchild that wasn't meant to be (I stayed with them for a while a few months after it happened) and I wouldn't want any gift I've purchased to trigger such heartache to myself or the recipient. I'll happily accept gifts after though!

NickiFury Tue 19-Jul-16 22:18:58

Only on MN.

In RL I have been to some absolutely lovely ones, which were special and a chance to get together with family and friends to celebrate pregnancies and babies that were very hard fought for.

Wordsaremything Wed 20-Jul-16 00:14:29

Oh yes.
Grabby and


familyfarm Wed 20-Jul-16 00:16:29

I don't think they are grabby. Yes it is self-centred.

I wish someone had arranged it for my first, as that freedom to chat with your friends and enjoy yourself never comes again.

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