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My pregnancy symptoms disappeared at 8+5, and now I'm convinced my baby is dead

(41 Posts)
Tarastara123 Fri 15-Jul-16 18:01:39


I'm new to this, so please excuse the long post whilst I try to explain. I've spent the past week in tears constantly because my symptoms have totally disappeared. I was exhausted before, and constantly nauseous (though I was only sick twice), my mood was everywhere and my boobs were so sore.... Now I feel nothing.

My scan is booked for Thursday 28th and that will be the first time I'll have any confirmation that there is even a baby there and I haven't been victim to a cruel blighted ovum, never mind whether it is still alive or not.

I work in clinical negligence law, acting for the NHS, so I see some real horror stories every day at work. I think I'm just looking for some reassurance after googling the hell out of this and not finding many answers.

Has anyone been through the same and got to the scan to find a normal pregnancy? Unfortunately an early scan is not an option. Struggle to afford private, and my midwife has no sympathy so a referral to EPU is not an option. This is my first baby... And I'm petrified sad.

StealthPolarBear Fri 15-Jul-16 18:05:22

Can you ask to see another midwife? That she has no sympathy doesn't sound good.
I'm afraid I have nothing to share (good or bad) but wishing you all the best x

wispaxmas Fri 15-Jul-16 18:06:24

Yes, I had minor nausea last time from 6-8 weeks, then nothing at all. Baby is now a rampaging toddler, so all was definitely fine. I had t book myself a reassurance scan at 8 weeks, though. I know there's not long until your scan, but could that be an option? Mine cost £60 (though I stupidly paid £100 for one in London last time), and I feel like it was money well spent.

Tarastara123 Fri 15-Jul-16 18:07:43

Thanks. Today was the first time I'd seen this Midwife. I had another Midwife for my booking in appt as this one was on holiday. Unfortunately I preferred the first one. I think I will request another when I go to the hospital for the scan, if everything is okay... But I'm almost certain it isn't and I feel very alone.

thatsn0tmyname Fri 15-Jul-16 18:08:17

My morning sickness disappeared at about 8 weeks so I went to my local hospital and asked for an early scan. They were great and squeezed me in and I saw a tiny grape on a string with a beating heart. The sickness came back with a vengeance two days later. Fingers crossed for you. X

Tarastara123 Fri 15-Jul-16 18:09:34

Thanks wispaxmas. I'm considering the reassurance scan. I've found somewhere that does them for £69 and I would be willing to pay that to get rid of the anxiety. slightly worried about the quality though as its at a 3D/4D place rather than an actual Private clinic.

Ilovetorrentialrain Fri 15-Jul-16 18:10:28

Hi OP I could not pass this thread by. My symptioms disappeared at precisely 8 weeks too, to the point that by the 12 week scan I was convinced they were going to tell me there had been some mistake and I wasn't pregnant! Well I most certainly was and all was absolutely fine. This is not about me but I had to tell you so you know it's not necessarily a bad thing.

We hear so much about problematic pregnancies, morning sickness etc as of course if you're suffering its good to chat with others on a forum but many many pregnancies are pretty much symptom free or sickness stops very early in the pregnancy . You just don't hear people talking about that! I sincerely, truly hope all is OK.

Tarastara123 Fri 15-Jul-16 18:10:46

I wish my EPU would be as understanding but I'm in Leeds and the feeling I've gotten so far is that unless you're heavily bleeding or you're on the floor in agony with cramps they won't even consider a scan.

Tarastara123 Fri 15-Jul-16 18:12:34

That's how I feel... Like they're going to tell me it was a mistake. I just want to know that everything is okay. I feel like I'm going to be the minority that isn't and it's a terrible feeling. I'm driving my partner insane with worry sad thanks everyone these posts are making a difference.

smellsofelderberries Fri 15-Jul-16 18:52:40

Oh Tara, I know exactly how you feel flowers it's a very stressful time. I felt exactly like you at several points throughout the first trimester, but everything has been fine. Women online tend to talk about extreme nausea and puking but my experience has been no where near that, and I would occasionally have days of feeling pretty great. An early private scan is definitely worth the money if you can swing it. Hope you can feel some reassurance soon flowers

ACatastrophicMisintepretation Fri 15-Jul-16 19:40:51

Not much to offer but I really hope all is ok, I found this in Leeds if it will help at all. For what it's worth, I had no symptoms at all and my little boy is upstairs (crying actually so must go!)

LillianFullStop Fri 15-Jul-16 19:45:50

Hi OP sorry you're having a stressful time - maybe try to get an EPU referral from your GP if your midwife is not sympathetic?

OTheHugeManatee Fri 15-Jul-16 20:01:26

Book a private reassurance scan. It's worth the money to have peace of mind.

Tarastara123 Fri 15-Jul-16 22:14:33

Thank you so much for your replies. I'm going to call Miracle Inside tomorrow and see if they have any appointments!
With regards to getting a referral from the GP I think the general consensus would be that I'm just looking for reassurance and they'd make me wait. Maybe I should just be patient but it's so hard thinking I'm carrying something around this isn't alive sad

MoonriseKingdom Fri 15-Jul-16 22:31:45

Sorry you are going through this flowers

In my last pregnancy I had an 8 week scan at this company's Leeds clinic.

They seem to be more medically orientated than some places (set up by obstetricians) as they also do tests such as NIFTY (like Harmony). Not as cheap as other places though.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Fri 15-Jul-16 22:36:02

Hi, Tara. What area do you live in? You don't need a referral for some EPUs. You just go there.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Fri 15-Jul-16 22:39:24

Click on your area. It will list the units, and where it says 'referral', it will say 'self' if it's one where you can just show up.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Fri 15-Jul-16 22:39:41

Happilymarried155 Sat 16-Jul-16 06:28:20

That happened to me with my first pregnancy too and everything was fine. My midwife said that sometimes your body gets used to the hormones quicker than others and that is why you start to feel better. I had an early scan at only £40 and the relief and reassurance it gave me was amazing. X

Pawprintz Sat 16-Jul-16 06:36:50

Have you taken another HPT?

Obviously, it won't guarantee that your baby is well, but it might give a little reassurance.

I would definitely get a reassurance scan so you know what is going on.

Good luck.

MoonriseKingdom Sat 16-Jul-16 07:41:29

I would not recommend doing another hpt at this stage - it can be very difficult to interpret.
Can be falsely negative if pregnancy hormones very high - Google the Hook effect
Can give false reassurance - hormones take a while to drop after a miscarriage

YorkieDorkie Sat 16-Jul-16 07:50:45

You should have to pay for this sad surely your MW can use the heartbeat Doppler to check for you? Waiting until the 28th can't be an option. I'm sure everything will be okay OP, it's natural to be worried for your baby and usually there's nothing to be worried about. Me and my little bean went through some tough times but she's a strong 6mo now!

YorkieDorkie Sat 16-Jul-16 07:51:09

Sorry you SHOULDN'T** have to pay for this.

WaitrosePigeon Sat 16-Jul-16 07:52:51

Oh bless you. Get that reassurance scan - it's completely worth it. The first 12 weeks are the worst xx

IveGotCheese Sat 16-Jul-16 08:01:24

I totally sympathise with you OP. I bled when I was 5 weeks and had an early scan at 6 weeks. My symptoms all disappeared but I was still spotting at about 8 weeks and I was convinced I was losing the baby. It was awful not knowing what was happening and the midwife and doctors didn't seem to care. I now have a two year old running naked around the living room. Go for the scan and put your mind at rest, I'm sure everything is fine though xx

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