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Pregnancy

Second baby-are you finding out the gender?

15 replies

Nuttynortherner · 06/07/2016 17:05

We're not. For different reasons-DH thinks it's part of the excitement (he wasn't the one in labour for 50 hours!) of birth and wants a surprise. I want to avoid inflicting hideous amounts of pink or blue on the baby for as long as possible. I ask because we've had some odd reactions-a total stranger I was chatting to today seemed really surprised as 'how would we know how to decorate the nursery or how to choose the layette?'. A friend of mine seemed very surprised too. We didn't have this first time round. Is it different with the second?

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AnythingGoesWithMe · 06/07/2016 17:17

We didn't either and didn't with our first.
Generally people are surprised but it seems to only be for practical reasons e.g. decorating and clothes.
I think most people are thinking of getting the 'boring bits' done and dusted whilst you still have time but I figure I've got another 6 months to whack a bit of paint on the wall.
I live within 15mins drive of a couple of 24hour supermarkets so I can always buy clothes. I don't really get the angst.

Icecappedpinetrees · 06/07/2016 17:21

We didn't for either two pregnancies. I especially loved the surprise the second time, I was convinced he was a girl so it was a brilliant surprise.

Figgygal · 06/07/2016 17:25

Yes we've found out both times for me it's a surprise whenever you find out so don't see need to wait but each to their own.

With first I was desperate for a girl so finding out he was a boy helped me bond with him before he was born and this time we wanted to know for practical reasons (and to help ds bond).

To be fair both times It was very clear and obvious on scans there was a boy in there sonographers must swish really quickly around that area when you don't want to know

Nuttynortherner · 06/07/2016 17:28

Thanks both, pleased we're not the only ones, you'd think we were!
Yep, I was convinced DS was a girl so it was a nice surprise. And we just got neutral stuff before the birth, means we can reuse it for DC2 anyway!

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Nuttynortherner · 06/07/2016 17:31

Thanks Figgygal, I can understand your logic. I guess DS is a bit little to understand anything just yet but if he was older then maybe? Yes the ultrasonographer did it pretty quickly and turned the screen away as we didn't want to know!

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Strokethefurrywall · 06/07/2016 18:00

Didn't find out with first (but was convinced it was a boy and was right), but did with DS2 because I was convinced he was a girl (and was wrong) and was driving DH mad with talk of why I was so convinced.

In hindsight, I wish we hadn't found out and if we were to have a DC3, I wouldn't find out then either. Although I LOVE the idea of 3 boys...

I'll never forget the look on DH's face when DS1 emerged and he exclaimed "It's a boy! We have a son!" - I'm sure he would have looked equally overjoyed with a girl but it was more the seeing the newborn emerge.

With DS2, after a near tragic ending at 30 weeks, when he arrived at 38 weeks, DH cried and said "He's here. He made it!"

I don't think finding out takes away the "specialness" of it at all, but for me its one of life's great surprises and I really love surprises.

LittleLionMansMummy · 06/07/2016 22:05

Didn't find out with first, haven't found out with this one either. I love surprises too and really don't care what we have. It will be a genuine surprise when it's born and agree it's one of life's few real surprises.

Noappointmentnecessary · 06/07/2016 23:19

I found out, simply because I'm having a tough pregnancy. I'm having a girl. Although, I'm not going to start naming her or go crazy buying my clothes etc. I don't want her to be here before she is even born. I love just knowing that even though mummy feels like crap, she is ok. I dint with my 1st x

EvangelineP · 06/07/2016 23:33

We did for both DC1 and DC2. Partly because I hate surprises and partly because I love decorating nurseries and would have struggled to do a truly gender neutral one. DC1 I really didn't mind but with DC2 if I was honest with myself I did really want a girl. A boy would have been just as lovely but I would have felt sadness at never having a daughter and I wanted the chance to process that before meeting DC2.

f1ddlesticks · 07/07/2016 03:11

I found out with DD and will with this one. Can't see the point in waiting (though totally understand if others wants to!) and want to focus on just choosing a boys or girls name! Plus I'm impatient... It's a high risk pregnancy though so I suppose I feel better having one less potential surprise. I get the opposite though - people saying it's better to wait and enjoy guessing!

Andbabymakesthree · 07/07/2016 05:09

People offer you odd opinions either way!

I didn't find out with DC1 or DC2. We have found out this time - I'm only 14 wks and we ticked to find out on harmony test. When the results came back I said yes please tell me gender after the initial results. I regret it a bit and people have been a bit opinioned that I found out! We got similar when we didn't!

Do what you want to do - however remember once you know you can't undo knowing!

dogdrifts · 07/07/2016 05:33

Sex. Not gender. Impossible to tell what gender anyone will identify with prior to birth. Or whether they will refuse to identify with a crappy binary stereotype.

In sex terms, yes, yes, no. Dc1 we found out a week before birth, dc2 was at the usual scan. As we already had one of each, we thought dc3 should be a surprise.

JC23 · 07/07/2016 06:17

I didn't want to but DH really did (his first baby, my second) so we did. In hindsight he says he thinks we shouldn't have but he was just too excited and impatient at the time.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 07/07/2016 06:34

We didn't with either, no need for practical reasons as we had decorated all our bedrooms in neutral shades before either was born and bought neutral stuff. I'm not one for surprises in life generally but I had a strong preference for waiting till they were born in both cases.

Heatherbell1978 · 08/07/2016 07:58

I'm pregnant with #2 and will be finding out. I did with DS1 too. To be honest, I don't like surprises! I'm quite an organised person and like to have everything prepared in advance and DH is the same so it suited us to find out. I know a few people who didn't find out with the first but have for the second so they know if they need to keep clothes from first or buy new. I have a lot of admiration for people who can wait 40 weeks to find out, I never could!

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