I'm freaking out

[user1467291039]

I just found out last night that I'm pregnant. My partner and I were trying to conceive, but as it was taking a while we bought some ovulation tests to see when it happened. I used tests for 1 week before ovulation, and 1 week after it was meant to happen - And nothing. They all came back negative. I thought something must be wrong and maybe I wasn't ovulating. But then I was a few days late for my period, did the test, and it's positive. But because all the ovulation tests were negative I thought there was no chance I'd conceive so I had a few drinks. Not much, like half a glass of wine with fizzy water now and then throughout the week. Obviously now I know I'm not going to drink anymore! But I'm panicking as I wouldn't have drunk if I thought I was ovulating! I don't know if I should tell my partner as I know he'll be angry and I don't want to upset him, but I don't want to keep it from him either. I don't know what to do! Feeling so stupid and worried.

[DesignedForLife]

Congratulations!

Don't worry, a few drinks is t going to harm the baby, a lot of women drink in the early weeks not realising they are pregnant - including myself with dc1 who is a very healthy 2 year old now!

[LadyFarnborough]

Congratulations. I don't understand why your partner would be angry though, especially as you were trying to conceive?
I really wouldn't worry about the odd glass of wine. I'm yet to find someone who hasn't done that. I'd been on an all day bender and a boozy weekend away before I found out.

[PresidentCJCregg]

I got pregnant just before I went on a fortnights rather drunken holiday. It'll be fine.

[pinkyredrose]

Seriously? Your know your partner will be angry you had a glass of wine? Angry men don't generally make good fathers, he's your boyfriend not your father.

[seven201]

No offence meant but I think you're being a bit ridiculous. It's not like you got drunk until you committed every night or anything. A lot of women do choose to drink the occasional drink throughout pregnancy (including me). If your partner is truly annoyed at you he's a twat!

[user1467291039]

Thanks, that helps! My partner isn't a drinker, and he doesn't mind me drinking say, on my period, but when we've been trying to conceive I've avoided drinking. We had a huge fight because I was going to half half a cider before I even started ovulating! (3 weeks ago). I was getting really stressed out thinking I wasn't ovulating and something was wrong with me, so I had a drink, and since all the tests were negative I thought there was no chance. Really wish I hadn't taken that risk!

[oldbirdy]

The baby doesn't share your bloodstream yet. Has its own yolk sac. It's fine, calm down.

[Imnotaslimjim]

Please don't worry about drinking so early on. Nothing passes through to the baby until at least 6 weeks pregnant, as thats the earliest a placenta will develop. So you won't have harmed any forming baby even if you'd drank a full bottle of vodka.

I am concerned that you're worried about you DP's anger towards you drinking though - does he get angry easily?

[user1467291039]

I know I'm probably freaking out over nothing but it's all come as such a shock. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused. I appreciate the help and advice though.

[PresidentCJCregg]

Is he usually such a cockface then? Half a cider is fine even when you're bloody pregnant!

[user1467291039]

He doesn't get angry a lot, no. But I think we've been waiting so long for this and he doesn't want to do anything to jeapodise it. He can be a bit irrational at times. I'm sure he'll be okay with it in the end but I'm just nervous.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

As oldbirdy says, even if that much alcohol were a problem, it can't get to the baby until you're sharing a blood supply, which you won't be until a couple of weeks after ovulation.

As for your partner - Christ what a twat. How can you be with someone who would treat you like that, let alone want a child with him? You need to work on your self worth, what makes you think you're so worthless that he can be angry with you for a simple mistake and that's ok?

[user1467291039]

Cockface lol that made me laugh! Yeah I've done a bit of reading recently and I knew it wouldn't cause any negative effects, but I think he's a bit too much like me lol, expecting the worst.

[glasgowlass]

He sounds like a controlling arsehole tbh. He doesn't mind you drinking on your period...how very kind of him

Firstly, Congratulations. Your hormones will be wee buggers for the foreseeable so don't worry if you're up & down.
Secondly, you had a teeny tiny amount of diluted wine. That in no way will harm your baby. Try not to stress, you've done nothing wrong.

[user1467291039]

I think he just worries, which I can understand. He can be a bit irrational but we're normally able to have a calm conversation afterwards. He's not a fan of drinking at the best of times lol but he doesn't try to stop me or anything. It's just whilst trying to conceive we've been doing everything possible to do things right.

[LondonStill83]

Op I went on two MASSIVE (I mean, fall off the bus and roll in at seven am) benders when I was 1-2 weeks pregnant and didn't know. we had only JUST started trying and i have PCOS so assumed it would take a while. Turns out, it didn't.

I am now 26 weeks and baby is healthy as a little lamb in there, kicking away. Don't worry!

On other news, your husband lost his shit over half a cider?? This to me is a concern. It's your body, you do what you want with it. I have had a few drinks here and there after 12 weeks passed and am happy knowing DH supports my decisions...

Do you and DH share the same values around alcohol? If not it could be difficult for you in future. Also, it seems to be like he feels like he has control over your body because of your shared goals for children. How will he be if you want a drink when pregnant, or whilst breastfeeding, or if he needs to stay in to watch the baby whilst you go out?

[lilwelshyrs]

We were TTC for 4 years... I'd have hated to have been sober for all that!
When I found out I was pregnant, I had gone out earlier that week and gotten very drunk! Whoops! I had only had AF a few weeks before so assumed I wasnt pregnant and it was sheer fluke i found out when I did as I had no symptoms whatsoevere!
I am lying next to my very very OK baby boy who is a big bundle of normal, healthy mischeif.
Your baby is fine.
Your partner sounds like a bell end.
I hope he is supportive and wonderful and doesnt react like a knob.
Congratulations :)

[user1467291039]

That's good that your baby is doing well! Honestly this has all helped a lot.
Also, did any of you experience cramping right after you conceived? I was convinced I was starting my period because I could feel cramping but now I know it's not that!

I'm happy to drink, but he's teetotal. Now that I am pregnant I know I won't want to have a drink, as although I know a small amount won't cause any harm, I don't want to take that risk.
I think he got frustrated because when we first started trying to conceive I did say I'd probably abstain whilst we're trying to be on the safe side - but that was about 7 months ago and before I did any real reading up on it! So I think he was a bit annoyed that I'd gone back on my word? And he was concerned about the effects it might have too.

[user1467291039]

He is really loving, supportive and a great dad - he can just flip out a little bit from time to time! lol. But thanks for the support! Do you think it's best I bite the bullet and tell him? It would be a serious weight off my chest I think.

[lilwelshyrs]

Yes, tell him. Can you reassure him what you've read on here and elsewhere?
I was quite a big drinker but since finding out I was pregnant and then whilst breast feeding, I've barely touched any alcohol. Although I'm treating myself to a night out on Saturday as 18 months of no parties is a bit shyte... However I still won't drink a lot as my DS still has the odd few feeds overnight.
But yes, tell him and reassure him. Be confident in what you say :)

[FairyBrained]

I'll have a think about it, thank you.
Enjoy your night out!

[Bluebird126]

Maybe the stress and worry his attitude is causing you is potentially more harmful to you and baby than the piddling half cider...?