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Scared I'm going to have premature baby again

(10 Posts)
DaintyHippos Wed 29-Jun-16 23:21:22

DC1 was very premature, I had no signs of labour until a few hours before birth and didn't feel the early contractions until around 5cm other than mild twinges in back. DC1 is now healthy, though was unwell when younger and has autism.

I'm 21 weeks with DC 2, and so anxious. I'm convinced I'm going to go into labour soon and that the baby won't survive, or that I'll go into labour after 24 weeks and not realise until too late and then not be in hospital for birth then it would be my fault the baby wouldn't survive.
Every twinge or ache I'm feeling this sad, resigned feeling that 'here we go'. It's like I'm sure it will happen and just waiting for it.
I can't get excited about the baby at all because I'm convinced it won't survive.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 29-Jun-16 23:28:43

Have you spoken to your midwife about this? She may be able to tell you more about your reasons for last prem birth and whether odds are increased of a repeat?

DaintyHippos Wed 29-Jun-16 23:37:02

I mentioned I was concerned, but not that I'm feeling like this constantly. They didn't know the reasons for DC1 coming early and so she said that while DC2 is statistically more at risk of coming early because of previous preterm birth there's no reason why I wouldn't be able to go full term this time.

I 'know' logically it could all go ok but I'm just so convinced I'll go into labour soon that I can't make myself 'think' it will be ok if that makes sense.

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 29-Jun-16 23:38:37

Were the doctors able to tell you why DC1 had been premature? Just so you have some idea how likely it is to happen again?

Fingers crossed everything goes okay for you this time flowers

namechangedtoday15 Wed 29-Jun-16 23:45:41

I was exactly the same. Delivered at 27 weeks first time around, no apparent reason. Was frightened it would happen again. Other than going to work I was worried about leaving the house. I fretted so much. In the end I got to 39+6 second time around. Just try to relax, take it a day at a time. Good luck flowers

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 29-Jun-16 23:46:28

X-posted.

It might be worth talking to your midwife about your anxiety. Did they give you any extra tests this time as your DC1 was premature? DS1 was born at 34 weeks, and I had an extra scan to check the cervix length when I was pregnant with DS2 (scan was normal. DS2 was induced at 37 weeks).

lovecamping Wed 29-Jun-16 23:54:50

I know exactly how you feel. All 3 of mine came early - 37 wks, 36 wks then 32 wks (although was 5lbs & biggest baby is special care). There was no medical reason for it and midwives kept reassuring me with no3 that it may not happen etc.
Early births do run in my family so I wonder if it's in my genes. And it's the main reason we didn't have a 4th which does make me sad & extremely broody at times.
during my pregnancy with no3, I felt quite calm and kept telling myself there was nothing I could do but hope for the best... I was running about after 2 kids & too exhausted really to enjoy pregnancy. I did have bad days but ultimately I couldn't do anything about the timing of the birth, & anxiety was worse for the baby & more likely for him to come early..
Sending you hugs though, it's not easy feeling so scared.

Emz32 Thu 30-Jun-16 09:00:14

I'm in the same boat. My DS was born at 35 weeks when my waters suddenly went with no warning. Now pregnant with second baby & im 13 weeks. In scared it's going to happen but just taking it each day. They don't know why my DS was early. I'm booked to see a consultant after the 20 week scan but only due to me pushing. It was pretty traumatic visiting the NICU daily for several weeks, not sure how I'd do it again especially with my DS this time.

namechangedtoday15 Thu 30-Jun-16 09:41:50

Just one other point - I suspected for a while that the reason I went into premature labour was due to an UTI - I argued and argued for swabs to be done, and although the midwife didn't think it was necessary, she agreed to provide me with DIY kits (I swabbed myself then dropped off at the drs for checking every couple of weeks). This made me slightly less nervy.

You don't say how early your baby was, and once you've been through it, its really difficult not to fear the worst. But there's a massive difference between very premature, premature and early - so every day you get further is a bonus.

scrumptiouscrumpets Thu 30-Jun-16 14:51:03

I understand how you feel, DS was ten weeks early and even though I'd known for ten days beforehand that he was going to come soon, it was still a massive shock and something I don't wish on anyone. I am now 31 weeks with DC2 and have spent most of my pregnancy so far worrying and counting every single day. There isn't really much I can say to help you, except that you just have to take each day as it comes and do your best to think positive. I found setting myself a goal helped a lot - so when I was 24 weeks, I kept telling myself I had to get to 26, which would already be much better for the baby should it be born then. Then I focused on getting to 28 weeks and so on. Every day seems a bonus now that I have got past the 30 week mark. Time still seems to go unbearably slowly though!
Also, remember that you have been through labour once so you will be better able to distinguish between, say, indigestion and labour. If you have the slightest doubt, go in for a check-up. Don't worry about seeming paranoid!

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