I've n/c just so this doesn't tie to my usual username but I might be recognisable to people from the antenatal thread.
I don't feel like I've been that excited about this pregnancy much at any point. It is a planned pg (DC2) but I suppose it was a little more OH's idea than mine. I didn't like pg first time around, I knew I probably wouldn't enjoy it much this time. I didn't like getting bigger and slower and having elbows in my ribs and all that. And I don't like it this time around. I'm tired. I'm still being sick 1-2 times a day even on medication. I'm working f/t and have a 4 year old at home. OH does shift work so I don't always have him at home at weekends or evenings to help.
I thought it was just a combination or tiredness and utter, utter fucked off-ness at 4 months of feeling nauseous and randomly throwing up, and not being able to rest as much as I feel I need or want to. And the general miserableness that comes with not being the mum I want to be to DD at the moment, or socialising properly, or even firing on all cylinders at work.
But the past week or so I'm not so sure. I just feel... down. I'm feeling quite disconnected from this pregnancy at the moment. We found out we are having a boy and I'm... just meh about it. Not quite what I expected, and maybe that's thrown me. I'm quite tearful, but not in the let's cry at the abandoned kittens on the RSPCA ad" way. I don't feel as if I'm paying that much attentions to books and TV (usually I'm interested in both) or to friends. I think that I just don't feel much like me at the moment. Just low, frustrated, tired with everything at the moment. Not excited about the future - not anxious about the baby, but I'm thinking more about sleepless nights and having to make new friends and all that, more negative things than good things. Not even particularly excited about choosing a name.
I've got a GP appointment later this week with a GP. I think I just wanted to talk to people at the moment. I don't know whether being aware that I don't feel right means I'm probably just a bit hormonal and tired, or whether that could mean it is something else. Has anyone else had this? Does anyone recognise what I'm describing?
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I just need to talk to someone about this. Feeling just generally down.
33 replies
superlibrarian · 20/06/2016 12:42
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