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How do I tell him I'm pregnant?

(20 Posts)
EmmaA90 Thu 16-Jun-16 13:21:17

Please don't judge.
I work with a man who I became very close with, he's my best friend both in and outside of work. He's also married with children.
We've had sex a few times and on one of those times it resulted in me becoming pregnant. What we have is nothing serious, I wouldn't even call it an affair. However I decided to keep the baby, one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.
I know that I need to tell him, I just don't know how or when.
I'm very realistic and I am preparing for him not only saying he wants nothing to do with the baby but that he wants nothing to do with me and I'll lose his friendship. Losing him as a friend is what scares me more.
I know an abortion would be the easiest option, but I need to live with that decision for the rest of my life - something I don't think I can do.
How do I tell him I'm pregnant?

TheCrumpettyTree Thu 16-Jun-16 13:44:45

I'm sure his wife would call it an affair.

leopardspice Thu 16-Jun-16 13:49:50

What would you call an "affair" then hmm

How about 'I'm pregnant?'

leopardspice Thu 16-Jun-16 13:51:58

I'll be honest op you're going to get very little sympathy on this forum. Not only did you sleep with a married man who has children...you basically define it as two friends shagging...not an affair...which it is btw...

Maybebabybee Thu 16-Jun-16 13:54:13

Welcome to mumsnet OP.

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 16-Jun-16 13:54:22

losing his friendship is what scares me more imagine how fucking terrified his wife is going to be when she realises she has to ditch this fucking twat and go it alone with her babies and her heartbreak.

How do you tell him? Send him a text. Don't be so dramatic, you have no right to be.

Scarydinosaurs Thu 16-Jun-16 13:54:25

How could you hurt your best friend's children so much?

Of course you have every right to have this baby- but I would tell him in writing, not face to face. He may want to tell his wife that their children's lives are going to be forever changed by adding a half sibling. That he has broken his marriage vows. What a totally fucked up situation. He, and you, have ruined so many lives.

BitchPeas Thu 16-Jun-16 13:55:06

What a mess. Just tell him, sooner rather than later.

cbigs Thu 16-Jun-16 13:55:58

Really difficult op but you do just need to come out with it .

TheCrumpettyTree Thu 16-Jun-16 13:56:46

Of course we're going to judge. Because what you (and him) did was a fucking shitty thing to do.

You had a choice in all this.

VocationalGoat Thu 16-Jun-16 13:58:34

You just have to tell him.
Have NO expectations of dependency/family life/future friendship/continued affair/financial support.
This is where you put on your grown up hat and stand by your decision to raise your child to adulthood, with or without this guy's support. You made a unilateral decision to keep the baby so I think the focus should not be on 'him' and his reaction to your choice. Your focus now is your role, your loyaty and dedication to your child. Give him/her the best start in life and know that you can do that without any man, believe me.
Out of respect and honesty, tell him. You'll just have to take whatever comes your way on the chin. That's just how it goes. flowers

Justmuddlingalong Thu 16-Jun-16 13:58:37

Is he your boss by any chance?

Pinkheart5915 Thu 16-Jun-16 13:59:26

His poor wife, she's in for the shock of her life and what about his children there life is going to be so different sad

When sleeping with a married man with children. Can't believe neither of you used contraception.

Bottom line is you need to just tell him, text him call him just get him told!

TheseLittleEarthquakes Thu 16-Jun-16 14:09:46

He's not your friend. So don't worry about losing his friendship.

Be prepared for him to rant and rave and beg you to terminate and then say he'll have nothing to do with the baby.

Are you prepared for single parenthood?

Sparklesilverglitter Thu 16-Jun-16 14:35:16

What a mess! His wife, she gets my sympathy it's going to hurt like hell.

Honestly just tell him, call him, email even just get it over with

HahahahaFuckYou Thu 16-Jun-16 14:38:04

Have a goat OP.

PotteringAlong Thu 16-Jun-16 14:39:37

If it's not an affair then what would you call sleeping with a married man?

2nds Thu 16-Jun-16 14:42:11

I love these posts "we were best friends" How gullible are you OP, he was never your friend, he wanted into your knickers that's all.
You sound young, I'll bet he's a lot older than you.

How do you tell him? As the others have said just text him or call him. Be prepared for this 'best friend' to blank you out of his life though.

leopardspice Thu 16-Jun-16 14:44:09

Op won't be back.

JustHereForThePooStories Thu 16-Jun-16 14:52:59

Tell him you're pregnant, then tell him to tell his wife so she can get checked for STDs.

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