can't buy anything 32 weeks

[jcsc]

I feel like I'm going insane. I'm 32 weeks and haven't bought anything and I'm really not organised at all. I'm scared if I buy stuff and get excited it is all going to go wrong.
I'm petrified of having a still born. I can't get the thoughts out of my head no matter how hard I try. My husband thinks I'm silly and wants to buy things and I feel like I'm ruining it for him.
This is my 3rd pregnancy and my last one I was the same and thought this would be easier. It's not.
My close friend had a still born full term and I've not been able to get over it.
My daughter kisses my bump and it makes me want to burst into tears
Just feel helpless

[peasofcake]

I was petrified of something going wrong and made a list of things I would like through Amazon wish list. That was my backup that if the baby came in a hurry we could order it and hey presto delivered the next day, I was remarkably underprepared when he arrived a week early and this made life very easy. I think you have a deeper issue and recommend you talk to your midwife. Allow yourself to get excited about your baby its natural and normal and you would grieve just the same either way if the worst happened. Wishing you a healthy rest of your pregnancy.

[jcsc]

Thank you
I've added a few things into my Amazon account but just can't bring myself to buy it.
I was referred to mental health midwife for counselling at 26 weeks still waiting to hear from them.
I want to get excited and then my fears come flooding in with size 11 boots X

[peasofcake]

Oh bless you, call the midwife tomorrow and chase it up. You'll be ok one day at a time and don't worry about buying stuff that's the least of your worries, you have time.

[Laptopontable]

I could have written your post! I'm 31 weeks and its also my third. I feel like I've pushed my luck having two healthy babies and this is the one that's going to go wrong. It really is a struggle isn't it?! I also feel like I've ruined it for my husband and I don't know what the answer is. I genuinely feel that there is never going to be a point that I feel I can buy anything. The only thing I feel confident about is sorting out my hospital bag as regardless I'm going to need that. Its a shitty state to be in and I'm sorry you're feeling the same. On a more positive note, babies don't need that much in the first few days, your husband can nip out and get anything you haven't managed to get.

[Wolfiefan]

Please chase the midwife or contact GP. You need urgent help for your anxiety.
Chances of anything going wrong are tiny but would a doula help you stay calm in labour?
Can you borrow essentials so you don't have to buy stuff but have the necessary items? Save stuff on Amazon so you can order it when baby is safely here?

[CakeAndChocolate]

Hi OP, I understand your anxiety, my first baby was stillborn (have thankfully had a healthy DS since then). I can honestly say, hand on heart that if something goes wrong having a room full of stuff for the baby will be the very least of your concerns/worries. It can actually be comforting to some people to have things that belonged to the baby.
At 32 weeks you hopefully still have plenty of time to buy what you need, but you probably do need to make that step and start getting some bits in. Can you start off slowly with a going home outfit and maybe a cuddly toy? Let's face it, you would want baby to have an outfit and a toy regardless of what happens, so maybe that would make it easier for you to buy them?

I really hope you manage to get your anxiety under control and I wish you a healthy pregnancy and safe arrival of baby.

[Pops1985]

I thought it was just me! I have myself convinced that something is going to go wrong and keep reading stats on everything. I know worrying about things is not doing anything for my blood pressure so I really need to check it, my husband keeps telling me to relax but I feel like it's been too easy so far and something has to go wrong! Maybe I will speak to my consultant next week...

[NapQueen]

Could your dh order some stuff he likes and have it sent to either his or yours parent house?

[jcsc]

Sorry for your loss cakeandchocolate.
I'm going to call my midwife today and chase up the referral.
I'm trying so hard to be positive and I really want to get excited and I know the chances of something going wrong are slim but I cannot help worry it's going to me and my baby. I wish I didn't feel like this. I love her so much already and it's a horrible state of mind to be in xx

[jcsc]

Ps what's a doula