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Am I allowed to be excited?

(5 Posts)
Stressedout123 Tue 14-Jun-16 17:50:03

Hi all,

I'm 20 and currently 9 weeks pregnant. I'm not with the father anymore he's an ex who told me not to speak to him anymore when I told him I was keeping it.
I'm not worried about being a single mum as I have an amazing family who I know will support me.
The only thing is i don't feel excited, I've always known I've wanted children but now it's happening I'm constantly worrying about whether I'm making the right choice by keeping it. I spend so long on the internet looking at the things I would buy and reading up on its development so I know I want it but I just don't feel like I can be excited. Is this normal?

Thelittleredhead Tue 14-Jun-16 17:59:52

Of course you are, congratulations!

It's not what most people would choose, starting out as a single mother, but it's no reason to not be positive and excited. I'm in a similar position to you (although a fair bit older) so I can absolutely sympathize with the increased worry and the uncertainty about whether you've made the right choice. only you can answer that- and remember that if you decide it isn't right, you can still change your mind for a few weeks yet.

Your ex sounds like an arsehole. Make sure you get what you are entitled to from him- he has an obligation to support his child.

I found, in my more panicked days, that making a list of everything I need to do and everything I need to buy really helped. It helped me get my thoughts together, feel more in control and start thinking of the baby as a baby rather than an abstract concept or (in my darker moments) merely a problem I didn't know how to solve. I'm 20 weeks now and started getting properly excited a couple of weeks ago when I found out he's a boy and felt his first kicks on the same day.

Good luck. It sounds like you have the right support and a sensible head on your shoulders. No-one ever said pregnancy has to be amazing and exciting all the time. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel and start planning ways to make yourself feel more connected, as well as more practical planning, if you decide you have made the right choice.


Pinkheart5915 Tue 14-Jun-16 18:03:31

Of course you can be excited!
Sometimes pregnancy is a shock even if very much planned but the shock does wear off and I think often you need that 1st scan before it really hits you then the baby starts kicking/moving and it really gets you.

SpecialStains Tue 14-Jun-16 19:34:05

Hey, of course you get to be excited! You're having a baby! Congratulations! flowers

I recommend going and buying something small and inexpensive (e.g. some baby socks from Primark) to get you cooing over all the cute baby things. smile

Stressedout123 Tue 14-Jun-16 23:24:28

Thank you all for replying smile

I feel a lot better now, I think I just need the reassurance that this is something I can be excited about! With it been early I've only told my mum and a couple of close friends and with not having the support from my ex I just needed someone to understand and say congratulations.

I think my next steps will definitely be putting my brain into gear and making a list of what needs to be done and then go treat myself to something smallsmile

Thanks all of you and thelittleredhead good luck and congratulations!

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