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(38 Posts)
Klouise18 Thu 09-Jun-16 17:41:53

17 & think I could possibly be pregnant but I don't know who the dad is. Thoughts on what to do? I don't agree with abortion, and I'm meant to be starting uni this yearconfused

MyBreadIsEggy Thu 09-Jun-16 17:46:53

Firstly find out if you actually are pregnant or not.
No one can really offer you any constructive advice until you know for sure

Rubberduck2 Thu 09-Jun-16 17:48:08

Poas! You won't know until you do... What is the time line of event.. Date you were last ok, dates you had sex and even you're due on, we maybe able to work something out a bit more with that info!

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Thu 09-Jun-16 18:34:47

Yep you need to piss on a stick. There's zero point in worrying about 'options' if you don't even know if you're pregnant or not.

Out of curiosity why do you think you could be pregnant? Is your period late? If it's late then take a test with first morning urine. Your urine will be most concentrated then and give an accurate result.

Good luck

Klouise18 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:28:39

Late period, feeling sick, and dizzy all the time & have over appetite, mood swings and keep getting cramps in my stomache. I'm 2 weeks late & I'm never usually late 😁

socktastic Thu 09-Jun-16 21:58:18

Only you get to decide what is best for you. If you're pregnant then it really isn't the end of the world. Life doesn't always go to plan and we all get thrown curve balls along the way.
I would encourage you to go and get a test to make sure and if you are, speak to someone you can trust, be it your mum, a friend or a sibling. Don't worry about what others think, you need to do what's right for you and be happy with your choices. flowers

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Thu 09-Jun-16 22:06:21

At 2 weeks late it shouldn't matter what time of day you take the test then as it should be pretty accurate either way When are you planning on taking one? The sooner the better IMO. That way if you are you can think things through properly rather than hypothetically.

You don't need to splash out on expensive tests, most pound shops
sell packs of two.

Klouise18 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:21:57

Okay thank-you everyone! I'll take one tomorrow asap & see what it says! X

Rubberduck2 Fri 10-Jun-16 10:24:45

How have you got on?

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 13:57:46

I've had to create a new account as forgot my password for my old one and it logged me out! Taken 2 tests and both have come back as positive confused

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 10-Jun-16 14:01:16

Ok.
How do you feel about it initially? What is your immediate thought?
And it also might help you to think back to what dates you had sex with each potential father.
Then remember when your last period was.
Then add 14 days - which should give you an approximate ovulation date.
Then deduce which guy is more likely to be the father confused

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 14:02:39

I'm kinda freaking out. I don't know what to do about university. If I wasn't planning to go then I think I would be a lot calmer. But since I'm planning on becoming a child developmental psychologist (which takes 25 years) I don't think I really have time to take a gap year out of university. And I think I would lack motivation into getting back into education afterwards. I'm sure if I stayed in university & had the baby id be motivated to work harder as I would have responsibility but I'm not sure if I'd be kicked out of uni or if it would be too much work! shock

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 10-Jun-16 14:04:26

Do you have a close friend/family member you can talk to in real life? A sister maybe?
Are you still in a relationship/in contact with any potential fathers??

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 14:07:17

All my siblings are younger than me so I'm not sure it would be appropriate (there 14&15) family members is out of the question till I know exactly what I'm doing (there will be 101 questions). I have one close friend who I can talk to, think she'll be lecturing me for a bit, but that's kinda expected. Do you think I need to mention this to the university before I start?

WellErrr Fri 10-Jun-16 14:09:40

Uni can't discriminate against you for being pregnant.

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 14:11:13

I've been offered an unconditional offer, meaning I'm gaurented a place, can they stop me from starting in September?

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 10-Jun-16 14:14:12

They can't just take away your place because you're pregnant - same way a 30 year old woman can't legally be fired from her job because she's pregnant.
Loads of people go through uni pregnant and then with a baby. Before you can make a decision, I really think you need to talk to your family. You need to know what support system you would have if you do decide to go ahead and have the baby.

LumpishAndIllogical Fri 10-Jun-16 14:20:30

I took a year out of university and went back after having my son and found myself even more motivated and focused! You wouldn't be kicked out for having a baby, however I would advise taking a year out if you do want to be able to focus. Start September 2017? After a year out with a baby I could not wait to get to uni, plus you will get extra funding for childcare etc.

I have dealt with university and pregnancy, I found out I was pregnant with my Son in my first year. So left and came back after a year (started at the beginning of year 1). It really has made little difference to timescale of achieving career goals as it was a year.

However how do you feel about all this? Generally universities are very supportive and perhaps only discuss it with them if you decide to continue with pregnancy. It's really up to you about whether you decide to have the baby, but not all hope is lost if you do.

Good luck.

Please ask me any questions as I was in a similar situation to you.

LumpishAndIllogical Fri 10-Jun-16 14:26:21

P.s as other posters have said best place to start is discussing how much support you will get from family. You will need to have a realistic and open discussion about this. Also, it may be more difficult if your university is far away from your family, with regards to support.

X

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 14:52:05

How did you find being able to do the work and looking after your baby? I'm doing A-Levels right now, and I'm predicted all A's but I don't know if I could have done them with a baby let alone a degree! I don't know if I'm just worrying to much? The uni I want to go is next to my current college, of which I only live 10 minutes away. My parents have made it clear that they want me to go to university, as I will be the first in the family to do so, and I feel like they would be disappointed if I didn't go! I think I definitely want to stay in uni, as I really don't think I'd be able to have a year of and then go back after! Obviously it needs to be considered though x

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 14:53:00

Also, I haven't spoken to my parents yet, but they've mentioned these previously just during random conversations c

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 14:55:06

I don't agree with abortion, only in certain situations. But I feel like this is my doing & isn't the baby's fault. I also know a few people who cannot have children, so I really think abortion is out of the question sad

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 10-Jun-16 14:59:35

You've really answered your own question on the abortion front. If you really really do not want an abortion, don't do it. Don't let your family's expectations of you influence your decision on that - it has to be your choice, no one else's.
Also, I asked before, are you still in contact/a relationship with any potential fathers? If you can work out who is most likely to be the father could you talk to him/them and find out if you would have any support from that side?

klouise18x Fri 10-Jun-16 15:03:36

Me and my friend managed to get into a night club & We both ended up going back to the hotel we were staying at (she's 19) with some guys we'd met, which I'm defo not proud about), I can't really remember much else & I don't have any contact details for him grin

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 10-Jun-16 15:06:16

So it could be either of the nightclub guys??
Could you not speak to your friend and see if she's got contact details for either of them?? Don't have to mention the pregnancy necessarily - you could probably get away with saying you really fancied one of them and want to text/call him or something. (God I feel so out of touch with being a teenager and it wasn't even that long ago blush)

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