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Undecided help please!

(2 Posts)
user1464812229 Wed 01-Jun-16 22:20:43

Hi all,
2 days ago I found out that I am pregnant. Problem is I have a few issues...

My last period was roughly on the 25th of April, my periods last 2-3days. I have a 28 day cycle. I slept with a guy I was dating on the 30th April. I then met up with a guy I had been talking to for 2 yrs on the phone but not ever met in person. That meeting resulted in sex, that was on the 11th May. From my calculations I work out that the baby is almost definitely my male friends, although there is a very, very slim chance it could be the guy I went on a date with.

My male friend has been informed and he's being extremely supportive. We have spoken about keeping the baby and the possibility of termination. We went to the GP surgery with me today. He turned up at my front door with flowers, I was such a state in the waiting room but he held himself together for me and afterwards stayed at my house with me for a few hours. We called the abortion clinic, and we have an appt booked for 2 weeks time which leaves me with enough time to come to the best decision.

I have mixed emotions, I am happy yet apprehensive. I don't know if I can support a child financially. His point of view is that's ultimately it's up to me, but he doesn't agree with a child being brought into the world with parents who aren't in a relationship with each other.

I'm 24 yrs old and have been broody for yeeeaaaars...trouble is in February after a long struggle with depression, I was diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 disorder. I'm now 2 types of antidepressants and a mood stabiliser. I feel great again and feel strong as ever mentally which is such a relief! My big issue is the fact that I'm at uni and studying Adult nursing. I have 2 years left although I'm on a break until next year Feb so I can get my health better and have some counselling. My course as a student is more intense than most degrees, on top of multiple essays and physical assessments, we also go on 12.5 hr shifts in blocks which rotates each semester, either 16, 24 or 32 hrs a week on the wards. If I were to keep the baby, my mum would be able to help out and as it is an NHS funded course they pay for the childcare for which is or can be provided inside the hospital that I am working in. They also provide a £400 a month bursary and from student finance I would be entitled to a maintenance loan. Also if I were to keep the baby, uni have agreed that I could come back in Sep 17 as opposed to Feb 17.

I'm so confused, I'm so sorry for rambling but it's such a complex situation...please help I am looking for advice and not judgement, so please be nice to me :-) xx

Willberry Wed 01-Jun-16 23:33:45

Hi,

no one else can telk you the right thing for you to do. With regards to the bipolar you would need to discuss with your GP/CPN/psychiatrist with regard to your meds and risks of meds to baby versus no meds to your health. My friend who has bipolar is a single mum and a fab one, theres no reason why it should stop you being a great mum. On the other hand it may present more challenges, she had post partum psychosis and the risk of this is higher for women with bipolar than those without. If you choose to contine the pregnancy it might be worth checking out what the risks are support for this available in your area eg are there any mother and baby units if you need them.

With regards to your course yes it will be tough studdying with a young baby. I also did a healthcare course and realise the demands of the nursing course are high as are the shift demands. I had a girl in my year who took a years mat leave and restarted with the year below the following year. It is doable but not easy.

You have lots of things to consider including how different choices will impact on your mental health. Do you have a CPN you could discuss your options with as they will be able to support you either way. You need to do the right thing for you. If you want to go ahead with the pregnancy you will find a way to make it work

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