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Is my baby my partners? Please help me.

(31 Posts)
Peppermint0248 Wed 01-Jun-16 13:33:06

Please could I have some advice, I'm sick with worry and it's keeping me up all night.
I got pregnant with my boyfriend fairly quickly 2 months into the relationship (failed contraception) I'm now 33 weeks. However we got together at the end of August 28th but regrettably I was sleeping with a few other people before him (which I know was wrong but I was single, it was very unlike me). Which meant I conceived at the end of October. The dates all add up, I had periods before hand but I can't help but make myself worry that it isn't his baby, even though all the dates add up to him and I wasn't pregnant before being with him. I think because it happened so quickly and I was sleeping with a few other people before hand it's just on my mind. Has anyone got any advice please? I can't sleep at night, it's on my mind constantly and I don't know what to do.

missybct Wed 01-Jun-16 13:39:26

Sorry, I'm confused. You said you were sleeping with other people before him - when was the last time you slept with someone other than your current partner? If you haven't slept with someone else since August 28th, then it's virtually impossible for you to be pregnant by anybody else, as you conceived end of October.

If you were still sleeping with people into October, that's a different matter.

PeaceNotPieces Wed 01-Jun-16 13:39:32

Does yourDP know the batman not be his?

PeaceNotPieces Wed 01-Jun-16 13:40:27

Omg...I'm sure you're not carrying a batman! Baby....
GpS do paternity test relatively cheap. Get one done as soon as baby is born and be honest with your DP.

Hulababy Wed 01-Jun-16 13:41:40

You need to look at dates of previous encounters, to rule them out.

Am smile about the batman baby in previous post though grin

CountessOfStrathearn Wed 01-Jun-16 13:44:08

I think you might need to see your GP, not because of the issues about the baby's paternity as such, but because you seem to know that there is no possibility that the baby isn't his but are still very anxious and worried about it.

Pregnancy can cause anxiety in some women and worrying to the extent that you can't sleep or think about anything else might be because you've developed depression/anxiety.

Please go and see your GP.

WellErrr Wed 01-Jun-16 13:44:39

There's nothing wrong with sleeping with different people when you're single. Men do it too, you know wink

If you haven't slept with anyone else after 28th August, and you had a period in between, it can't really be theirs.

Peppermint0248 Wed 01-Jun-16 13:47:36

No since August 28th 2015 when we got in to a relationship I hadn't slept with anyone else, and I do remember having a period in between. I know this seems silly asking this because it does seem like a stupid question but I don't know why I'm feeling like this sad. It came on out of nowhere and it's all I've been thinking about the past couple of days.

cheekstime Wed 01-Jun-16 13:48:42

Hi OP ...keep looking those dates, those periods. If you've got a good margin there try best not to worry. Remember when you're pregnant (with the change in hormones fluctuating) feelings of anxiety can increase.

Try to be a relaxed as you can and everytime you think about this be aware of what you are doing and do something different. Breathing deeping until centred, also pregnancy relaxation cd's. Allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy with your partner. Allowign yourself to forget about time's gone before & congratualate yourself, your partner and your bubs on your 33 wks flowers.

I'd print out large the calendars and highlight/colour in the safe margin so you can really see it!! then believe it then chuck it for good.

cheekstime Wed 01-Jun-16 13:51:25

If this fails talk to MW. Especially If your sleep still beign affected be no good for you.

Peppermint0248 Wed 01-Jun-16 13:59:05

Probably date of ovulation: Oct 28th 2015
Possible dates of Conceiving: Oct 24th - Nov 1 2016
Currently: 33 weeks pregnant to this day
Due Date: 20th July

I can't remember the exact dates of the two other people I slept with, but I do know it would've been in August.

My relationship started: 28th August and I've not slept with anyone other than my partner and have been 100% faithful to just him.

So surely it's 100% his? Why am I feeling like this.

FetchezLaVache Wed 01-Jun-16 14:01:06

What Countess said. The baby is definitely, 100% your DP's.

FellOutOfBed2wice Wed 01-Jun-16 14:05:08

It's absolutely your partners. Sperm can live for about a week, not two months!

Northernlurker Wed 01-Jun-16 14:06:26

If you had conceived in August you would have delivered by now (give or take a week). Presumably you've had scans to date you to 33 weeks. The scans cannot be that much wrong. The baby is your partners.
I agree you need to see somebody about your anxiety if you can't let this worry go. And if you'd rather the baby wasn't your partners because of how he behaves please talk to somebody in RL about that.

Peppermint0248 Wed 01-Jun-16 14:06:49

That's what I thought and I honestly feel so stupid for having to ask all this. But It's just really worrying me still. Even though I have the facts. My partner knew about the other two people before we got together so it's not like I'm hiding anything. I don't have anything to feel guilty about yet I'm absolutely ridden with guilt.

outputgap Wed 01-Jun-16 14:08:40

It sounds like you're suffering from anxiety. And your brain has latched onto this thing of the dates to worry about, but you already know that the baby must be your partner's child. But that irrefutable logic can't help you with the anxiety.

You are unexpectedly pregnant with a partner who wasn't expecting to be in this position either. And now it's getting closer to delivery. Why wouldn't you feel anxious? But you don't have to suffer with this anxiety. Speak to your midwife or GP.

Is your partner supportive? This particular worry sounds like you might be worried about his commitment and it's been translated somewhere in your head to being somehow your fault.

Do please put aside the specific worry, but get support for the anxiety. Very very best of luck.

mopsytop Wed 01-Jun-16 14:09:58

It is pregnancy! It makes you super anxious a lot of the time. I remember obsessing about things and lying awake worrying about them. And they were really and truly (I mean really really really) nothing to worry about. It is probably all those hormones flooding your system! And why feel guilty? You've been 100% faithful to your partner, and so what if you slept with other people before you got together with him? You're a grown women, it's your body and you are free to do what you like with it!

scandichick Wed 01-Jun-16 14:11:24

Just coming on to say that it wasn't wrong to sleep with other people. You were not in a relationship, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. Does your partner know that you worry about this? As others have said, your dates are fine so is it possible something else is causing the anxiety (I.e. your partner being jealous of who you met before him)?

Or maybe it's just pregnancy paranoia, I've been there too wink

WellErrr Wed 01-Jun-16 14:13:51

And sperm only lives for up to five days, so there's no way they were hiding out until October.

Peppermint0248 Wed 01-Jun-16 14:23:08

Thank you for everyone who took the time to post on my thread, and thank you for being so kind. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I'm seeing my family nurse in two weeks so I'm going to express these worries to her as I trust her and feel comfortable around her.

Again I know my whole post seemed really stupid, and I do feel as if I've been thrown in to this situation with someone is not known long. But we've both adapted to the situation as well as we could considering neither of us could go through with an abortion.

CountessOfStrathearn Wed 01-Jun-16 14:34:47

"I know my whole post seemed really stupid"

Don't feel bad about that. It is like when people say to people scared of spiders "but they can't hurt you". You know that but it doesn't make the anxiety any less real or troublesome.

Great that you are going to speak to someone and I hope you can get some enjoyment out of these last few weeks of pregnancy.


Kellz92 Thu 02-Jun-16 11:57:30

I would say the baby/batman is definitely yours smile

try not worry, smile xx

KayTee87 Thu 02-Jun-16 17:40:31

Wee batman is defo your partners grin
The way you're feeling is down to hormones and pregnancy anxiety, try not to be so hard on yourself. I'm 33 weeks on Saturday so we're almost due date buddies - I was TTC so quite sure we conceived around 1st November (was using ovulation sticks)
Come and join our July antenatal thread if you want it's great for ideas on what you need for baby and just support in general from other woman due around the same time.

LBNM19 Thu 02-Jun-16 23:13:57

This happend to me I fell pregnant after being with my partner for a few months. I had slept with someone else just before and even though I new it could only be he's baby I kept thinking it wasn't. I ended up with postnatal depression and realised after I was better I had been suffering with anxiety through the pregnany. I think you should see your GP x

PacificDogwod Thu 02-Jun-16 23:18:34

According to your dates and info the baby is his.

I get the impression from your posts that your thoughts about this are quite intrusive and distressing and that might suggest that yours is more of an anxiety issue rather than one of paternity IYSWIM?
Would you speak to your GP or MW about just how you are feeling?

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